My girlfriend has no sex drive

I've been in a relationship with a woman and sex became less regular She doesn't seem to enjoy it and now we even sleep in separate bedrooms She says she isnt interested in sex and that her cousin and mom where the same way. She is a great person Idon't know what to do

I am 30years old in i am goin through the same thimg at first we was nasty did it every where now is we do it she just lays there no sound no movement nothin i want to leave her on one hand but i love this girl she is the mother of my son and im happy with her i just want to have sex more then once every 3months and when we have it i want her to be into it more like she use to help me any body

it is painfull i ben with my girlfriend for over 3 years i still love her with all my hart i am 52 she is 48 she said she never had a sex drive and after her last child 13 years ago it just dropt more there are times i want to find somone to share love making with but i am not that way i cant do it love her to much she said she wants to see a dr about it we just made love a week ago for first time in a year that is a long time to have to waite it is getting hard to go on like this just wish i knew what to do

I know these posts are old but I'm going through the exact dame thing did anyone ever get their girl to come around this starvation is killing me!!!!! It we had sex like crazy before and then hit a huge dry spell before we went on vacation then things heated up again and since we've been back we have had zero sex and its going on two months I would do anything for this girl anything but I honestly want to feel wanted

Even though this is an old thread, this whole thread was like reading my life story. I've been with my girl over a year now. I love her like crazy. I just turned 30 and she is 29. I have a sex drive that is on the verge of an addiction. We haven't moved in together, but I masturbate at least once a day (being too honest here). We are planning on moving in together in the beginning of September but I don't know if it's a good idea anymore. She says she has intimacy issues, to say the least. She admits to having depression issues and sees a therapist once a week. Things are just not getting better. I am trying to be patient because I am crazy about her. I know for a fact that she loves me, and that is worth so much to me! I don't want to lose her. She is my best friend, I don't know what I would do without her. There is no one in my life that I feel so close to, but sex is so important to me. I feel guilty about it that it weighs on my mind so often. Since we don't live together, and work different hours, we only sleep in the same bed once a week if that. On those occasions, I look forward to the possibility of sex, but it rarely happens. When it does, I can tell that she doesn't enjoy it. I want her to so bad but I don't know what to do. I want her to enjoy being intimate with me as much as I enjoy it with her. I can be a kinky guy, but she is anything but. I have accepted that the kink may never happen, but I don't know how I can accept such minimal to nill amounts of sex.

I can't help but be upset with her if we go to bed without having sex, and then in the morning I am usually grumpy anyways, and if we don't have sex then it just turns me into an a$$hole. I really don't want to be an ahole and I want to treat her like a queen, but I don't know how to not feel this way. I can't help but feel like she isn't attracted to me, even tho she says she is. That she doesn't love me, even tho I know she does. It gets to the point where I feel like she doesn't even want to do anything beyond holding hands. Kissing is awkward and quick as tho she wants to just get it over with. Even if I try to hug her, she curls her arms up inside and doesn't hug me back; I can tell how uncomfortable she is.

One person said that people should stop being lazy and move on to someone that shares the same levels of intimacy. I have often thought of moving on, as recently as this morning, but I don't want to lose her. At the same time, I don't want us to be in an unhappy, unworkable relationship.

The date when we are planning on moving in together draws nearer and nearer... I don't know what to do. I want more than anything to live with her. I don't know what I would do or where I would go if I didn't, but if the relationship is doomed anyways, I don't see what point there is moving in together if it will all just go to crap. I don't want to be in one of those relationships where we sleep in separate beds or resent each other for simply being the people we are.

I know she appreciates my patience, but I don't see this going away. I am not going to be any less horny the same way that she is not going to get any more so. So what is the point?

I hate the fact that sex is so important to me as much as I hate the fact that sex is such an afterthought to her.

What I haven't read is anyone that knows of a solution to this problem other than breaking up. Is that really the only option??? There has to be something we can try before it comes to that, no? Does anyone have any idea(s)?

what is the longest people have done without sex??? im 32 of age and im in a realtionship the past 16 mths my sex drive is crap and its tearing us apart he argues once a mth and the longest he has went without sex is 10 days i feel under so much pressure i feel im getting depressed over it i was abused as a child also an i explained that might have something to do with it but he wants a sollution NOW im sick of the arguing and bickering he can get very nasty and call me names i feel like leaving him as im writing this i do really love him alot but i hate this forceful nature he has what am i to do pls help

I would love to know if things have turned around for anyone. My girlfriend is wonderful, but we have not had sex since we moved in together, over a year ago, and we have been dating for almost 3 years. I keep trying to understand, and the other day, trying to ascertain what turned her on, I asked her what has ever really just made her burn up inside, and she just didn't understand the question. I'm really frightened, because I have known about desire, and felt it within myself, at least daily, since before I knew what it all meant. I love her very much, and I see physical intimacy as an integral part of emotional intimacy. I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with me. Looking back at the beginning of the relationship, I always initiated, and I always wondered what was missing. I realize now that she simply wasn't into it. I hate it. As I said, I love her, and outside of this, would love to spend my life with her, but I don't know how to come to a place of understanding. There doesn't seem to be any mutual ground. I can be happy with less sex than I would like to have, if it meant that she was there, and that she wanted it, and wanted me. That's all I want is someone who wants me as much as I want them. But I can't do anything about her not wanting to have sex. Anyway, good luck to us all.

I'm so glad I found this thread. I felt like I was going crazy and nobody out there would understand what I am going through with my GF. I'm 37 but feel more like 67 right now.

What you all describe is exactly what I am going through. My GF is also getting to the point where she is getting upset by me talking about this on a more and more regular basis, so I can understand her perspective too. This hot girl tells me she loves me and is very very affectionate all the time. We go out a lot and I treat her romantically, treating her to meals, champagne and entertainment. We enjoy all sorts of stuff together and are well matched in every other way.

I've been with my GF for about 9 months and the sex has been bad from the off. I have had plenty of GF's over the years and it's always been great before. I'm fit, athletic, smart, confident and run my own business. Girls are always slightly different, in one way or another, but always good and fun and adventurous. With this girl, it was obvious right from day one that she was not into it. At first, I blamed myself. I got paranoid, it must be me, my behavior, my performance etc. Then, I decided I enjoyed a challenge. Nope. After 1000 rejections, it just gets worse.

Now I know, after trying everything, she just isn't into sex. And no, its not just me. She tells me now that her last BF, who she was with for over a year, they never had sex once. We have managed about 2-3 times a month since the start, so she considers this a highly active sex life...

The worst bit isn't the sexual frustration at all. Its laying next to somebody you love and care for, who is a hot girl, and who you lust for, who simply does not want you back. On one hand you love this person, but they hurt you deeply every day without even realizing they are doing it. I only see her at the weekends, so expect us to be pretty much ripping each others cloths off when we finally meet up. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen. These days, we go out, we come home, I get a goodnight peck on the cheek and she turns her back on me. At this point I am dumbfounded, hurt...wounded. Ultimately by monday morning I become depressed. I cheer myself up for business, but it takes its toll on my morale.

Yes I have tried talking. Its emotional. She seems to acknowledge that I have needs in some sort of theoretical way. But nothing changes. I think, in the end, you can't make somebody want something they don't want.

She just doesn't understand why anybody could get upset about it. To her, its simply a non-issue. Its like I'm asking her to indulge in some strange hobby. She actually had me thinking that I was somehow strange for wanting sex more than a few times a month, I really had started to doubt my self. That's why I'm here I guess.

Recently she has taken it to a new level. Now she says oral (on her, never me) gives her an infection. Now touching gives her thrush. Now sex makes her sore. Erotica is disgusting. She tells me she has never masturbated because that's wrong. Somehow I have gotten pulled into this downward spiral and let this happen to me, one small rejection at a time.

People, we have to end these ed up relationships and move on to happier times. She's talking about moving in. I'd love to spend my life with her, if she had a libido it would be brilliant. But eventually I will make her every bit as miserable with this as she is making me. It will fall apart eventually and we will have wasted years. Its going to be hard. She's a great girl and we work in every other way. I just don't think this is the sort of problem that gets better. People cannot change their sex drive any more than they can change their personality or need for oxygen.

Yes I am in the same boat as jwayne111. My girlfriend and I are both 20 and the relationship is still new. Although we have only been together for several months, she has little to no sex drive. She has a busy very busy schedule and lives an hour from me, but my schedule is very free (when I'm not in college). So with this being said I understand that there will be little times too see each other, but when we do, she is always too tired, or something comes up. I give her the benefit of the doubt due to here insanely busy schedule, but even when I try small intimate things like making out, she always pulls away. Anything more than two two kisses in a row and she is done. I've never been with a partner that doesn't even want to kiss! Before anyone questions, I know she is completely loyal, so could it really be her personality? I've only had one previous sexual partner in the past but she has had more (not to state the number). Could it be that she has gotten it out of her system? Given my age and history I find it depressing to fall into the sexual life of a couple with a failing marriage.

Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks.