This is kind of embarrassing to post, but my boyfriend doesn't want sex as much as I do. It's great when we do it, but it's a problem just getting him IN the mood. I mean, we normally have sex once every one to two days, but that's not really enough for me, and if I want to go again immediately after we finish he claims that his penis 'hurts'. I don't understand this. Is there anything he can take to stimulate his libido? Or, on the other hand, is there anything I can take to, well, curve mine? I mean, he's 21 and I'm 20-- we shouldn't be having this 'problem,' right?

I also posted this question in the 'men's health' forum, but I can't possibly be the only woman who has had this problem, so any advice you can offer would be great. Thanks.

BRiGRL

Well me and my bf are the exact opposite...I mean he is usually in the mood more often than I am!! And I do know that when we do have sex, when we are finished my bf's penis feels uncomfortable to go again right away!! Maybe he feels the relationship is only about sex...thats why I slowed down with the sex with my bf..I thought all he thought about was sex and I wanted our relationship to be more than just sex ya know?..I dont know if this really helped you or not..but I hope it did a little..

kp2171

i can tell you it is possible with too much friction to do some wear and tear on his member. this might happen because of insufficient lubrication, longer periods of friction when sex is longer or positions that cause more friction, or by increased frequency of sex. i dated one girl who was ready all the time and occasionally this did happen. usually it hurts some during, but hurts like mad after...especially when some skin has actually come off. so the penis hurting thing isnt necessarily a cop out. imagine a bad scrape on your arm, and then dragging a fingernail over it... thats kinda how it feels.

he also might have performance issues with sex multiple times in one night. i can tell you i usually need some recovery time before i could go again. too soon and the sensations are not as strong and sometimes its tough to sustain. wait a while and its easier. but if hes mentally not there, it might be even harder.

can he get you off orally? if so, then maybe thats the thing to do. if he can get you there orally, thats one hit for you. then you will be lubricated well and maybe the friction isnt an issue. if you can return the favor to get him in the mood, perhaps then you can work it out a second time for you. this is the route i have to go with my woman. she can almost always get off orally first, unless shes mentally just not there, and then sex after usually works for me and sometimes her again.

if oral doesnt work, well then teach him how to please you orally. even if you know the basic anatomy and what you are supposed to do my experience is that what stim one woman orally isnt necessarily what works for another. if oral doesnt work then you might need to self stim first maybe and then follow up with him?

i dont think hes uninterested in sex. it just may be that he needs more time in between to get "primed". i dont think sex should be a reason to date or not date someone, but i also think its healthy for you to be thinking about this and to be open. knowing you want sex often is something you should know about yourself and your partner.

talaniman

Back off and let the guy catch his breath.

InQuizItive

Hey. I'm 20 and my bf is 20. We don't even have sex more than once per week. I'm sure this is wrong for our age and I just want it more. He doesn't seem to care. It seems like I'm always the one who initiates things, too. Have you gotten any good advice.

talaniman

Post this as a new question and it will have a better chance of being answered. This thread belongs to someone elses question.

lily28

Hi, I'm 19 and my boyfriend and I are having the same problem. We have sex once a week if that. I always initiate it, and I would like to have it more often. I tried talking to him and he claims he just has a smaller sex drive. I don't buy it, we used to have sex more often. He then told me that he sometimes has bad feelings after having sex and that having it less ment getting that feeling less. It could be that he is going through a stressful time now, and maybe sex is the last thing on his mind right now. Don't worry though, i'm sure it will change if that is the case.

prettyNpink3795

Hi, I'm back, but the sex isn't. We have sex now like 1 time every 2-3 weeks. I've learned that ignoring him or wrestling with him normally sparks his interest.

sketcher

If you don't have any moral or religious objections, I would suggest that you buy a vibrator. Relationships are based on respect. Try having a discussion and make it clear that you feel he should respect your sexual urges (and in return tell him that you respect that he may not always feel up for sex). It is a common misconception that men should feel more sexual than women. It sounds like you're having sex fairly often. If you act indifferent towards sex, you're bf may be more apt to make a move on you. Some men like to take the lead. Good luck!

Sugar_teez

honey im in the same boat u r only he doesnt want to give it to me at all hes 23 and im 21 we have been together since i was 14 and he was a virgin until he was 18 then we had sex well after the first time we had sex he just shut down he masturbates more then we have sex. i dont know what to do. he tells me it isnt me blah blah blah but im not sure what to think other men i slept with didnt complain and wanted more so i dont know when u find an answer let me know maybe it will help me out thanks CIAO