Originally Posted by
Shopgirl
I have met the most amazing guy in my whole life. We are perfect together its almost surreal. He is younger than me by two years but he’s so mature in so many ways I don’t even notice. We are both professional actors (we met playing opposites in a play). We now have to deal with getting cast in different plays and both of us are usually leading characters with some romantic interest playing opposite of us. I have done two plays since we got together where I have to make out with a guy onstage. I respect him so I never put myself in a compromising position outside of rehearsal… what happens stays on the stage in character. He has still been worried but, I’m glad he cares to a degree. He is now in a play where he has to schmooze on this girl and went out for drinks after rehearsal until 11:30 the other night.
A few questions to set the stage:
How old are the two of you?
How long have you been dating?
Is this the first thing you've been worried about?
Did he go with the girl, or with a group from the cast? That makes a pretty big difference in what this might mean.
The problem is this: 1) he is a flirt. 2) he won’t admit it.
Some of us really don't know that we're flirts. I was flirting constantly for years with everyone I spoke to, without even recognizing that I was doing it. When somebody mentioned it to me, I dismissed them because I really didn't know.
3) he has not hesitated to say he was in the wrong.
That's a good thing.
4) he didn’t want to call me because he didn’t want to worry me.
That's a bad thing.
5) I spent the evening making a delicious turkey dinner for when he got done (supposed to be 9:30).
If he didn't know that you were cooking, then it has no bearing on anything... you can't be mad at somebody for not showing up for what they don't know about. If he did know, then that's another reason he should have, at the very least, called.
6) he never went for drinks with me when I played opposite him.
Most of us treat our different friends and coworkers differently. I may go bowling with one person and play pool with another, but that doesn't say anything about my relationship with either of them.
7)he says she has a boyfriend and I say then why don’t either of you want to respect your significant others? And why would you think that I wouldn’t respect and trust your choice if only you would have told me?
If there's no question that both of them have relationships, there's no reason to assume that not telling you everything he does in advance is a sign of disrespect.
8) he says I’m blowing it out of proportion.
You may be... we don't have enough information to know. On the other hand, that sounds a bit defensive on his part.
9) I've been cheated on in alsmost the same way three times before and he knows that... he knew that.
Don't project your past frustrations onto your current partner... different people are different, and if you assume everybody is like the people that hurt you in the past, you're going to be more worried about getting hurt again than about actually having the current relationship.
10) he says he doesn’t want to marry for at least 5 years because of financial reasons. I don’t believe in moving in or premarital sex.
Are you okay with waiting five years for marriage, or is he open to shortening that time frame? If both of those are no, then pack it in now, because you're not going to get more okay with it over time.
If I stay with him I feel like it’ll take so much to get back to where we were. I also no longer trust him %100. What do I do? I want to marry this guy some day and it’s real.
Figure out your trust issues. Otherwise, end it.