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I have been married for about 12 years , my husband has always had a problem with my weight. I have never been hugely overweight just a little pudgy.At one time I lost a lot of weight and got down to a size 4. I am now at the most i have ever weighed.180 size 12/14
See the thing is, for the past several years my husband has had a really big problem with my weight , and as of these past two weeks he looks at me in disgust every day.
Like,I cook huge meals for him in the evening and he hardly speaks to me, he gets up from the table and goes outside or stays really busy. I confronted him, halfway knowing his answers to my hurt.He said he cannot love me like I am , overwight , anymore.
He needs me to loose the fat i have gained over time, he said he cannot touch me anymore. I just dont know what to do any more. Ihave tried the atkins , south beach etc. lost and then gained it all back, now it seems i just rebell bad, i just need a weight loss buddy to help me get back to a size small and save my marriage.I love my husband and I dont want to put my child througha divorce, I really need some links to some really powerful weight loss pills or some thing.
My husband is 6'6 and has never had a weight problem.And he said either I loose weight or my marriage is over...please someone be my weight loss friend,buddy. someone i have to be accountable to and someone who can point me in the right directions.
TIA
Kaytie
My friends husband left her because 'she wouldn't lose weight'
he was with a thin woman for almost a couple of years and then went back to his wife.
The grass isn't always greener!
Let him leave if he is that selfish and get a life for yourself with less aggravation.
No sense in hanging on to someone that is going to treat you like that indefinitely.
This is going to sound tough but I think you need to check if he is having an affair. He is obviously comparing you to someone, even if it isn't an affair, there might be someone he has his eye on, at work perhaps. If he doesn't want to touch you and he says it's because you need to lose weight, he’s getting it some place else. Sorry. He's just looking for a fight. Does he leave after you row? Do some snooping. Has he become more conscious of what he eats? Has his diet changed? He’s watching his weight and there is only one reason a married man of twelve years suddenly changes his diet. Is he buying new clothes? There's more to this than your weight, I'd put money on it.
Honey this is about more than your weight. If he loved you, he would not be so cruel. This is probably about something going on with him. If you lost weight, it would probably be something else he'd find wrong. You are not that big. The average size woman is a 14.
If he would divorce you over some weight, he was gone anyway.
You don't need to stay in a marriage where you are uptight about what you eat and how he will react to it. He is down right cruel, and you deserve better treatment than that.
I was once engaged to a guy who knew I was not a small woman, never was. He had no problem with it either. About three months before the wedding he started in on the weight. I did lose about 15 lbs and then he got scared, saying he loved me just as I was. So dratted confusing! Three weeks before the wedding he started in again on the weight. Turned out, he was seeing an old gf on the side plus somone else when I worked nights! He had to pick a fight about something and that was my weakest point.
I would bet anything the stress he is causing you is not helping with any weight loss either. Turn the tables on him and ask him to go walking with you. Stop cooking those big meals. Go low fat, join a gym or get some exercise dvd's and start getting active. You will take away his arguments. If he leaves, no loss for you. The guy sounds like a jerk - trying to provoke you into something so he has an excuse to do what he doing - most likely behind your back.
Yes, I would say everybody is right. Get out, this marriage is no longer. This guy is very mean. I think He is trying to come up with reasons or should I say make up reasons to leave to justify him wanting out of the marriage and putting the blame on you. When you have no blame at all. He is the one that needs to take the blame all away out the door like others have mentioned. I just can not believe how people can be so superficial. You need to know that your a beautiful women no matter what you hear or do not hear from your husband.
A marriage to a man who dosen't love you the way you are, no matter what the size, is not worth having!
When my now ex husband (he and i divorced a couple of years ago on totally unrelated issues and he's still very much a part of my life) and i first started dating 20 years ago i was in a size six. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, and On the day that we married 8 years ago, i was in a size 24. The only time he would ever talk about my weight is when i would bring it up. He told me that he loved me no matter what, but if i wanted to lose weight for health reasons or just to feel better about myself that he would help me in any way that he could. Well, i ended up losing 173 pounds in a 2 year period, but i did it for me, not for him.
If you want to lose weight, do it for YOU, not for anyone else. I'm so sick of our society putting lables on what they think a womans size should be for her to be considered attractive. Beautiful women come in all sizes. You just worry about you and let your husband deal with his own hangups!
Thanks to all of you, I agree that if want to loose weight it should be for me and your right up there it really is a stress on my end result because when i start thinking about it all I just want to eat all the more.
If what some of you are saying is true,then maybe i should do a little snooping, he has bought some new clothes lately and he is pretty particular about them being ironed neatly , I guess I am in denial about some things too, I just needed a reality check, but I think I may be one of those women who thinks maybe i can change things.If i just loose weight all this will go away,.I mean I am not huge or anything, just slightly not perfect.
If a man is cheating what should i look for , more indepthly ladies,.what are the sure signs.
thanks I really dont wantt o end my marriage , then i would be a failure, I just would be so imbarresed around my family..I should be able to make this work....
Kayte
You lost him along time ago, and I would suggest if you and he wants this to work, you get into marriage couseling. That will save your marriage if it can be. He can love you no matter what, if your physcial appearance is what makes him love you, then you do't need him anyway.
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