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Home > Family & People > Weddings   »   Young and in love

 
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Old Apr 23, 2007, 03:59 PM
intendedsighs
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Young and in love

Okay, for starters, I just want to say that I'm sick and tired of people looking down on people who marry young. I turned 20 in March, and I would have gotten married 4 years ago if I had met my fiance then. From the beginning, no one believed us when we said we were going to get married, not even my fiance's own parents! But that changed after I bought my wedding dress. However, even my best friend at the time (we rarely talk now) said I should wait until I had fulfilled my goals and finished school and all that...the thing was, my only goal in life is to be a good wife and mother, and that's what I'm going to do. So, no matter how many people look down on it and think I should wait...it doesn't matter. I know I love my fiance with everything in me and I know I want him to be the one I spend the rest of my life with and have a family with, and that's that.

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Old Apr 23, 2007, 10:02 PM   #2  
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Although I think I agree that 16 is a bit young to get married in our society it does not mean that you couldn't have found the love of your life by then. I was one month past my 21st birthday when I got married and my husband was 2 months away from his 20th. We heard lots of opinions from "caring friends and family". We knew that this was what we wanted to do with our lives. We have now been happily married for over 12 years and have 4 beautiful children. I love being able to write "Full Time Mom" on paperwork that asks me to list my career.
One piece of advice I have though is to get pre marital counseling. It will help prepare you for all of the adjustments and decisions to be made after the wedding.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 05:55 AM   #3  
intendedsighs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krittengirl
Although I think I agree that 16 is a bit young to get married in our society it does not mean that you couldn't have found the love of your life by then. I was one month past my 21st birthday when I got married and my husband was 2 months away from his 20th. We heard lots of opinions from "caring friends and family". We knew that this was what we wanted to do with our lives. We have now been happily married for over 12 years and have 4 beautiful children. I love being able to write "Full Time Mom" on paperwork that asks me to list my career.
One piece of advice I have though is to get pre marital counseling. It will help prepare you for all of the adjustments and decisions to be made after the wedding.


It was a requirement to get premarital counceling for the rabbi to marry us, and it's helped out plenty. We've improved a lot sine the sessions, and we only have two more sessions to go. One of the is this coming Saturday.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 06:14 AM   #4  
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Great. May your marriage be a long and fulfilling one. May you grow old together and have children who bring you many blessings.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 06:27 AM   #5  
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I got married at 19 almost 21 years ago! I don't believe people are looking down on you, they are just trying to offer their experience to possibly prevent future problems.

The woman you are now will be drastically different from the one you will be in 5 or 10 years. When you don't allow yourself time to gain experience from simply living as a grown-up it can make life difficult later down the road.

Although I love my husband and kids dearly, if I had to go back in time, I would probably wait another 6 years before getting married, simply because I had no idea what I wanted out of life at 19 besides getting married and getting out of the 1 horse town I grew up in.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 07:13 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emland
I got married at 19 almost 21 years ago! I don't believe people are looking down on you, they are just trying to offer their experience to possibly prevent future problems.

The woman you are now will be drastically different from the one you will be in 5 or 10 years. When you don't allow yourself time to gain experience from simply living as a grown-up it can make life difficult later down the road.

Although I love my husband and kids dearly, if I had to go back in time, I would probably wait another 6 years before getting married, simply because I had no idea what I wanted out of life at 19 besides getting married and getting out of the 1 horse town I grew up in.


So basically you got married for the wrong reason. It's sad how often that happens these days. I'm glad I'mnot one of them. My fiance's parents married when she had just finished high school and he was 21 and in the army. They had a tough start, lived in a trailer, etc, but when they look back on it, they say that if they could go back...they're do it again. They've made a good lifefor themselves and their children. They're a lot more well off than my family is, that's for sure.

Now my fiance has trouble with finances, but we're working through that, and I think it's getting better with his dad's help.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 07:46 AM   #7  
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I don't think I got married for the wrong reason so much as I got married not knowing what I wanted out of life. My husband and I were mature for our age at the time (I tell him he has been an old fart all his life!) but we were still inexperienced about what life is all about. He wanted a life other than working as a farmer or in the paper mill and joined the Navy. I just wanted to be with him and really didn't think any further than that so we married and headed to the East Coast. We are the exception rather than the rule for people getting married in their teens.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 08:00 AM   #8  
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I got married at twenty-two. I think that if you are past your teens and you are getting married for the right reason then thats great. But alot of people are getting married for the wrong reasons. It is all just a matter of opinion.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 08:09 AM   #9  
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My mom and dad were married young. Mom was 19 and Dad was 21. I don't think that they made a mistake. They had been dating since my mom was 12. And they were soulmates. My dad died almost a decade ago (at 47) and my mom, although dates, always says that there will be no other man in her life. She will never get married again. That is no disrespect to the men she dates, she tells them immediately. But, she feels she had her soulmate and lost him, and marrying again would be a mistake in her eyes.
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Old Apr 24, 2007, 09:15 AM   #10  
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I got married at 17 and my husband was 19. I finished high school and right now I'm just working. It was pretty though for us. We had no money, we lived with my sister in law for 2 months before getting our own place.
We loved and love each other. My family thought we were too young, and His family DID NOT want us to marry, but we did. I don't regret it one bit. I'll have a chance to go to college, I'm only 19 now.
I'm not missing out on anything, I have my husband and that's the only person I need for me to be happy. We do everything together.
We have learned to be strong and we have showed EVERYONE that WE MADE IT and ARE MAKING IT. It's the best feeling in the world.
ALL I can tell you is that if you feel that you are ready and you love that man, do it. You shouldn't worry about other people, because in your marriage it's only you and your husband.
Remember that you don't have to call it quits to everything, if you want to go to school, go.
Good Luck and let me tell you that I know how you feel
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