wedding seating

kaki1610 · #1 Oct 4, 2009, 02:10 PM

If parents had a nasty divorce, 20 years ago and the youngest is getting married, where does the father of the bride sit?
The stepfather has raised her and is walking her down the aisle and paying for the wedding The father is making his first trip to the city in which my daughter grew up and has decided to wear a tux, matching the groomsmen to the wedding. He will be there as a guest, his wife will not come and he is estranged from his family (alot of whom will attend) and his other two children, both of which will be in the wedding party. Does anyone have any suggestions?

LearningAsIGo · Oct 6, 2009, 08:44 AM

Its pretty common to see divorced parents sitting in the first two rows. Mom and stepdad could sit in the first aisle, especially since he's her escort down the aisle.

Biological dad can sit in the next row, as long as the bride & immediate family are comfortable with that.

kaki1610 · Oct 6, 2009, 12:54 PM

I know what the etiquette books say regarding divorced parents, but the fact that he has never been to our city, seen any schools/activities that the children have been involved in and now out of the blue, decides to not only attend the wedding, but to wear a tux when he has no role in the ceremony seems a bit outrageous. Like I said, he has no relationship with his other 2 children, has never seen his grandchildren and is even estranged from his family. I want to treat him as a guest and have him sit behind the family with the other guests, but know that this is my daughter's day. There is no way that my ex will be seated in the row with my husband (the man who raised her) and myself as that would be a slap in the face of my husband.

LearningAsIGo · Oct 7, 2009, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaki1610

I know what the etiquette books say regarding divorced parents, but the fact that he has never been to our city, seen any schools/activities that the children have been involved in and now out of the blue, decides to not only attend the wedding, but to wear a tux when he has no role in the ceremony seems a bit outrageous. Like I said, he has no relationship with his other 2 children, has never seen his grandchildren and is even estranged from his family. I want to treat him as a guest and have him sit behind the family with the other guests, but know that this is my daughter's day. There is no way that my ex will be seated in the row with my husband (the man who raised her) and myself as that would be a slap in the face of my husband.

Pardon me for asking, but if this is the case, why was he invited?

Does your daughter have an opinion about where he sits? If she wants him seated behind family, that should be what happens - but since he sounds so excited (ie: renting a tux) someone will probably have to say something to him so he doesn't cause a scene or get upset. I can understand how uncomfortable this must be (a child of divorce myself) but it really and truly is up to your daughter - the other adults have to abide by and respect her decision.