Wedding Gifts

valinors_sorrow · Jun 27, 2006, 11:02 AM

If its true then it deserves to be broken. I am like Miss Manners (if she were an aging hippy LOL) and the circles I travelled in were pretty heady at one time. It would be considered outright gauche (look that up between crude and smarmy) to dictate terms to gift giving that involved a dollar figure!

If it were true the hostess would be equally obligated to ensure that every guest invited has sufficient means, for pete sake!

ndx · Jun 27, 2006, 11:05 AM

I think you buy them something within YOUR own budget.

Just because they are wealthy, and having a posh weading doesn't mean you can afford a $300 present. And also, if they are wealthy, they have the money not to worry

I think its really uncalled for this rule, because you were invited as a guest, and ettiquette for how much you have to fork out, when your income is different to other is really not on.

Get them a gift in your price range that you think is nice, its most deffinetly the thought that counts

J_9 · Jun 27, 2006, 11:13 AM

Why not just find out where they are registered and get a gift on the registry. That is what everyone I know has done.

One of my favorite gifts was when someone took my wedding invitation and a pic of me and my hubby, they had someone take an old book and antique it with the invite on one side and the pic on the other. It is a beautiful reminder of how we looked together on our wedding day.

CaptainForest · Jun 27, 2006, 12:57 PM

I agree with the others.

There is no "rule of thumb" here.

Give what you WANT to give, that is, less than $300.

It is ok.

And since they can afford such an expensive wedding, they really don't need a lot in gifts eh?

Myth · Jun 27, 2006, 02:57 PM

I would rather have something from the heart than something I'm not going to remember who gave it to me in a year. Gift registries are wonderful things, but add something a bit more down to earth and from your heart and it will be remembered long after the toaster needs to be replaced.

Here_To_Help- Jon · Jun 27, 2006, 03:27 PM

If there is such a "rule" - then I guess I've broken it many times. It makes no sense -as others have said..if they have money - they don't need expensive gifts. Just your being there to share this special occassion should be enough. Good for you for coming to this site and asking about it...

Fr_Chuck · Jun 27, 2006, 05:54 PM

Ok, I have done a lot of weddings and there is no such rule, unless it is some local "snob" rule of the rich. But of course not, you pay what you can afford and share there great day

mariedz · Aug 15, 2006, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Priscilla Jo

My husband and I have been invited to a wedding. Our nephew is marrying a girl from a very wealthy family. While visiting with a cousin, someone mentioned that it is proper wedding ettiquette to give a wedding gift that matches the price per plate at a wedding reception. The cost per plate at this particular wedding is approximately $300. Everyone seemed to agree with this. (except me)

I had never heard of this "ettiquette rule" before and think that it is preposterous! My husband and I might as well not go to the wedding if this is indeed the case since we cannot afford to give a gift of $300. We are not wealthy and money is often tight with us (I'm a stay at home mom and my husband earns a modest income).

Can someone help me here? Is this really true or are these people out of their minds?

My daughter got married recently in the NYC area where weddings are QUITE pricey! The reception cost $150 per plate, with tax and tip PLUS the band, thank you favors, etc. In this area, guests generally have an idea of the cost and most cover their "plate." My husband's rule of thumb was always "What would it cost me to go out for cocktails, dinner and dancing in this area?"

My problem is the opposite end of the spectrum: how do we handle guests who did NOT give any gift at all or whose gift may have been lost in the confusion?

mariedz · Aug 15, 2006, 05:48 PM

My daughter got married recently in the NYC area where weddings are QUITE pricey! The reception cost $150 per plate, with tax and tip PLUS the band, thank you favors, etc. In this area, guests generally have an idea of the cost and most cover their "plate." My husband's rule of thumb was always "What would it cost me to go out for cocktails, dinner and dancing in this area?"

Many of our guests did indeed cover the cost of the plate, but not all. It was somewhat expected that people from out of the NYC area would not do so, but they were people we really wanted to have at our wedding.

My problem is the opposite end of the spectrum: how do we handle guests who did NOT give any gift at all or whose gift may have been lost in the confusion?

Wedding Gifts

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