At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
My fiance and I are planning and paying for our own wedding. We are on a very tight budget, so we decided to limit the number of people who come to the reception. We have talked about leaving the church open to a larger number of people. Is it ok to invite people to the church and not to the reception?
You are basically asking if it's ok to divide your family and friends into the A list and the B list which is not at all acceptable. Inevitably someone on the B list will feel they should have been on the A list.
My suggestion - invite people you can invite to the entire celebration, or as another option, scale the wedding itself way back and have a more casual reception later.
I've had friends who have been in the same circumstances for a variety of reasons - not always money. One friend just married quickly because her father was dying and they did not want to wait. They had the ceremony in the home of her brother, and the family all went out to a nice restaurant for dinner, which the groom paid for. I think he said that they had a fixed menu and served wine at the table. Nobody took orders, they just said "red or white". They also offered beer, pop and coffee.
In the summer, they will have a big, casual cookout/picnic with all of their friends and extended family and anyone is welcome. They are getting a keg, and are grilling inexpensive stuff like burgers, brats and hot dogs for the kids and will also have some nicer more sophisticated stuff which they are making themselves. Some of us - their friends - are also bringing stuff.
I should say a lot of us are on our second weddings, or anniversary parties at this point in life so it's hard to say to a younger person to scale back on the big wedding dream. I can honestly tell you though that I had the huge wedding, and in hindsight, I wish I had used that money for investments and just kept things more intimate. If I ever marry again, it's not going to be the big deal...I would keep it simple and special and relaxed so that I can be among the guests as a peer, and not such a point of attention than the entire day escapes me!
you absolutely have every right to have a small intimate wedding....but then keep it small and intimate the entire way thru...i would be offended invited to the church and not reception as many would...but if it is people of the same parish, the church may announce your wedding in the bulletin, and then they have the oppurtunity to come to see you walk down the aisle...
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico (Yes thats in the United States)
Posts: 343
My mom is paying for most of our wedding, but she cannot pay for the whole thing. So my fiance and I are also on a budget especially with a new baby. We picked a country club that is $28 per person for food, servers, bar tender, decorations, the hall, alcohol, ALL for just 28 per person. Everywhere else I checked was $1000 to $2000 just for the hall alone, and then 24 dollars per person and not including decoration, servers or bartender. Try to find a place that will do more then one thing for rather then just pay for the hall and nothing else. If you want to cut back for the caterers cost, just get the food and ask family members or friends to help serve, or have a buffet serve yourself style. Its not as tacky as it sounds, my cousin did that and it came out nice. Try to make your own party favors, I'm making my own invitations and they are coming out very pretty and elegant if I do say so myself, make your own bouqet. There are plenty of books and magazines that show you how. I am making my own and my bridesmaids will do the same. ALl that will cut back on costs tremendously. We've also decided to have a candy bar with a two tier cake. Its cheaper that way then having that huge $1200 cake with all that expensive frosting and designs. Also the rehersal dinner, we decided we'd have it in a laid back style and bbq chicken and steaks at a close by park. You can also make your own center pieces. My suggestion would be to get a few bridal magazines and get ideas on how to make decorations and centerpieces. It's okay to use things from dollar stores like vases and such. Also try this website, I love it.
IF it is a good time of year you might want to consider what we are going to do. We decided on an outdoor wedding reception under a tent in our own yard. The meal is a big Bar-B-Q type bash and luckily my step son's band will play for free and my nephew/cook will cater the food. We are paying all the expenses of the band and food etc but all together are doing it for under $2000 and have 85 guess. Making it informal allowed us to invite more people and are looking forward to a real good time.
You are very welcome. To rent the 20 x 40 tent (with set up), tables, chairs, table cloths, port-o-potty, and the BBQ pit came to $1000 where we live in NH so this was a very economical choice compared to a hall and sit down dinner. The food comes out to about $3.50 a person for chicken, burgers, hot dogs, and salads. There will still be other expense but not too many. We also limited the bar to a keg and margaritas or soda. All in all we are keeping it under $2000. Whatever you choose to do, it is your day and you should have what you want and not let others tell you what to do especially if they are not paying the expenses.
Linear Mode
