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dancertoes · Jul 18, 2006, 05:43 AM

All the information I have found re: wedding etiquette for divorced parents is about the BRIDE'S parents. What about the groom's parents? My friend's son is getting married in Aug. She is in the middle of a very difficult process of divorce and is definitely not on speaking terms with her estranged husband.

Where should she be seated for the ceremony? She has no close relatives coming to the wedding, so who should sit with her? Where should the groom's father sit? What about the receiving line? What about seating at the reception? What about photos?

I know there are several questions here, but we need some answers to show the bride's family who are planning the wedding. Any other info that you have regarding this kind of situation would also be helpful.

Thank you so much,
dancertoes

aqua@home · Jul 18, 2006, 08:44 AM

Okay...

This is my opinion (coming from a child of a divorced parent). Ideally she should ask her son what he would prefer and if he doesn't have a preference then it could be up to her. If he does, then his wishes should be followed.

If he wants his parents together then they need to sit together. They don't have to talk but they do have to suck it up. She has to be in the photos.

Forgive me for what I am about to say: The son did not choose the divorce, if that's what people want to do, then they should have to live with their decisions. It is only one day, and I'm pretty sure just about anyone can tolerate another person for part of one day. Ultimately it should be up to the couple getting married and what their wishes are.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 18, 2006, 05:57 PM

Yes, I will agree, at my son Charlie wedding, his mother and I had had a very bad separation and had not even spoken for over a year ( well nothing civil anyway)

Well when I showed up, they had all planned that his mother and I walk in together and sit together. Well I did and I bite my lip for my sons sake, but I doubt if many couples could have done it.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 18, 2006, 06:41 PM

I agree with both Aqua and Fr Chuck's posts. I invited both my parents and asked in a phone call that they set aside their differences completely for the day with the stipulation that whomever couldn't manage that may bow out gracefully and I would understand. My mom attended and my dad did not and I was perfectly okay with that arrangement since the risk of fighting was all too real otherwise.

It was fortunate that we were having a very modern ceremony where there was no giving away of the bride. LOL I think this sort of thing goes for brides as well as grooms with the decision "who gives the bride away, if dad doesn't attend" being the only leftover detail. Those are often easily solved by other family members stepping in.