She tells me this and I'm getting married in two weeks!

Twoweeks · #1 May 6, 2008, 08:42 AM

I need help!

Last night my fiancé broke down and was appearing to get cold feet. She told me that she doesn't find me attractive. She thinks I'm hansome but doesn't find me sexually attractive. This is a problem since we are getting married in less than two weeks. This is the fisrt time she said anything. Besides that she tells me she is attracted to other men when she goes out. She wouldnt cheat on me and I make her happy but I dont want come back in a year or two and end up in divorce. She also said she doesnt enjoy sex with me. She told me she used to but not anymore.

We are both young at 22 and 21. We have been engaged for two years and are finishing up college. I want a woman that is attracted to me and wants to have sex with me. I am very good to her and love her completely. However I would rather know now than after we are married that she wants to be with me and just me. Not some random guy she might meet at the bar. Please give me your suggestions!!!

Thanks

twinkiedooter · May 6, 2008, 10:00 AM

You should thank your lucky stars that she is telling you this now instead of waiting until you are married. She is immature and needs to grow up a bit before she gets married. Please consider yourself lucky and move on to find your new wife with some other lucky lady. You will not be able to change the other girl's thinking. Sorry.

ang8318 · May 7, 2008, 05:27 PM

You are young, so is she...and as twinkie said you are lucky she is telling you this now. I would just let her go find what it is she wants, and maybe...you never know...she may see that the grass is not always greener on the other side...or she will like the grass on the other side...either way, I do not think that you need to stay with someone who is not attracted to you, that is not fair to you.

plonak · May 7, 2008, 07:38 PM

That really sucks man, i'm sure no one on the planet would ever want to hear that, but you have to give her credit for being honest.. Attraction and chemistry are very important in a relationship and if you don't have those things you're in for a rude awakening if you get married..

I suggest you break off the engagement and let her see what else is out there... i don't suggest you take her back if she wants to because you will always know in the back of your head that she's not attracted to you and it will kill you.. some people just don't mesh sexually, that's just how it is..

There is a woman out there that will think you're the most handsome man on the planet when she meets you, God has her waiting for you.. just hang in there man, i really feel for you

talaniman · May 7, 2008, 10:17 PM

Kiss her feet, and thank her for her honesty, and not waiting until after the kids are born, and the mortgage is due.

Skell · May 7, 2008, 10:20 PM

Sorry to hear about this. The best suggestion i can give you is not to go through with the wedding whether she wants to or not. She isnt ready and i highly doubt you are either.

Mom of 2 · May 7, 2008, 11:14 PM

I am speaking from the point of view of a divorced female. DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE WEDDING!!!! It is better to be embarassed about canceling the wedding and losing the money that was spent on the reception, etc. than it is to live a miserable life that will most likely end up in divorce. How can someone say that you make them happy but who is not attracted to you? That does not make sense and she is really immature and clearly does not know what she wants. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and most of those divorces include people who were gaga over each other on their wedding day!!!

hermione · May 17, 2008, 07:35 AM

I was married when I was twenty and that was nine years ago. I know what you are going thorugh. Maybe if you do not want to completely give up on the relationship, you should postone the wedding and work out a deal. This may sound strange, but tell her that she has 2 months to work on sewing her oats. You guys will take a 2 month break and if after that 2 months, that she still does not want to commit to marrying you and still has not figured out what she wants, than let her go. It is easy to say to dump her now, but it may be a case of she is realizing that she is young and that marrying someone means sleeping with that same person from now on. Maybe if you give her some space, she will realize what she had.

amber-doo · May 23, 2008, 11:07 PM

I know what you and your fiance are going through. I was with a guy for 8 years and we were supposed to get married only I broke it off. I was not enjoying sex with him and he kept pushing the issue making the thought of having sex with him made my skin crawl. I think you should put the wedding off and work on this together. I think if he had given me time, respect and a little understanding that things may have worked out. I was young and so is your fiance. Maybe she's just not sure of herself and her body...

tickle · Jun 1, 2008, 06:22 AM

My god, what a revelation two weeks away from the wedding. I hope the two of you can get deposits back and arrangements havent gone that far to be irretrievable. I agree with ALL of the above !!

This is a good time to use my ol' standby saying, noted below.



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