Hi, maybe you can help me figure this out.
I'm a 21-year-old junior in college, and my fiancé of one month is a 28-year-old naval lieutenant. We were coworkers before he joined the Navy, and we've been together just short of a year.

My question is, how can I know whether I'm too young to get married?
Also, what are the reasons that people who marry young don't stay married?

There are so many statistics out there saying that marrying young is one of the worst things you can do for your marriage, because you don't have enough life experience. And while most of my friends and all of my family seem to agree with my fiance and I that we won't become a divorce statistic, there are some friends of mine, in particular, who say, "Don't get married. Why? Because all marriages at your age die young." Others say, "Why bother, why not wait 5 more years, or 8 more years?"

I want to get married because I am very much in love with a wonderful, caring man who is a practical match for me, who shares all my views about children, finances, reaching for life goals, gender and family roles, etc., and who is just as committed as I am.

I wonder, what, specifically, happens to young couples to make them not work out? Is it that they haven't planned for the mundane issues of marriage like chores and finances? Or is it that they grow apart in personality? I wonder if WE should be afraid of those things. And does it help our case statistically that he is older than the age statistically shown to be old enough to marry successfully?

Please help me. I don't know whether I have a cause of concern here. :-)

Thank you!

Depressed in MO

This one is a toughie. Peoples' personalities can change at any age. I would say you are too young to get married because you are still "Growing Up". However, on the other hand, there have been couples who marry young who have made it for 50+ years and still going...you just never know.

Have you both talked together about everything and how to handle certain situations should they arise? The fact that you are asking this-COULD Be a sign that you yourself are unsure if you are ready to get married right now. Do you two live together? Have you experienced what it is like to wake up in the mornings together and rush off to work/school? You haven't been together for a very long time, you may want to wait a while (like a couple more years) and experience more together as a couple before you DO actually get married.
This is just my suggestion, so I hope you are not offended and that you will think about it.

dunno

My fiance' and I have been together for 3 years and have lived together for a large part of that 3 years. I personally think everyone should live together before getting married. Once you bring paying bills together into the relationship, it pushes some people apart. I know we have had our share of arguments about money. Money is one of the biggest reasons people split up. THat could be a reason so many young couples don't stay together. They often haven't had to worry about money as much and once they bring money into their relationships, they can't handle the stress.