Issue with being Maid of Honor

GlindaofOz · Sep 8, 2007, 03:45 PM

My best friend is getting married in May and has asked me to be the Maid of Honor. I accepted but told her when I accepted that I would not be able to afford to purchase a "one time use" gown and would need her guarantee that my dress would be something classic and re-wearable she agreed.

Well today she called to let me know that instead of the wine colored cocktail dress we agreed on I was to now go out and purchase a rather impractical organza easter egg lilac dress from an expensive bridal shop.

Her reason was that one of the bridesmaid looked bad in the bridesmaid dress she picked out so she decided to put her in a different dress and now did not want "a bunch of mis matched dressed strolling down the aisle". I told her that she knew I could not afford to purchase a toss off dress nor could I afford a dress from an expensive dress store. What can I do here to not seem like the jerky friend? She keeps turning it around saying that I'm making a fuss...am I? Thank for your help.

LearningAsIGo · Sep 10, 2007, 07:05 AM

Hun, it may not be much help here and I see you already have a bunch of great advise, but I cannot help adding my $.02

I found my MOH's dress on ebay for $21.21 (with shipping) Lots of people there buy stock from out-of-business dress shops and sell them for a profit. (When this one came, it had a $180 price tag still attached) Its common now to have each girl or just the MOH in a different dress... though it may be the same color. Maybe you could find a similar dress on ebay and stand out slightly as MOH?

Netbride.com is another place I looked into. They are a brick and mortar store that sells/ships directly to you, cheaper. My own dress was $630 in the salon, Netbride sold it to me for $371. They have bridesmaid dress there too, s you might be able to get the same dress; much cheaper. (you can email them for a free quote)

HTH

LearningAsIGo · Sep 10, 2007, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Originally she just told me to get a dress in a wine/chambord color that was cocktail length and I could get it anywhere. Which meant that I could find something at a discount store for probably $50 - totally affordable.

The new dress is about $500 not including alterations, shoes, accessories, etc

WHAT!?!?!? A bridesmaid dress should NEVER cost that much! My bridal gown was just over 1/2 that! My word.

LearningAsIGo · Sep 10, 2007, 12:10 PM

You're welcome Glinda. Let me know if that works. If not, there are some other sites I can refer you too... but I had personal experience with Netbride, so I can tell you they are GREAT to work with. Got my own quotes within 24 hours... and I asked for tons of them.

Picassa · Sep 11, 2007, 02:05 PM

I am a little late in coming to this picnic, but I have to echo the sentiments expressed above. You are not being unreasonable. The bride is if she expects you to back down on your early declaration that you weren't in a position to buy an expensive throw away dress. If the bride feels so strongly about these dresses, then maybe she should pay for them as her"gift" to her bridal attendants. If not the whole dress, maybe half. I did this with my own wedding 17 years ago. Many of my attendants were older (30-ish) and even though they all had careers, I felt that paying for half of the dress they would likely only wear once was the very least I could do.
Is this one maid she's changing everything for a future family member, by any chance?

GlindaofOz · Sep 11, 2007, 04:18 PM

Nope not a future family member. Fortunately "dress wise" her future SIL is a tall, willowy model type.



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