I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend is 19. we have known each other for 6 years and we have just been friends. There were always little flirts here and there but never the thought of going out. We've been dating for 8 months. Then a month ago he told me that he loved me and he asked me to marry him. I said yes but i'm afraid to tell my dad. i am ready but i dont want my dad to freak out because he is always telling me that his union with my mom didnt work out because they out-grew each other. (they got married at (mom) 19 and (dad) 20) he thinks i am going to make his mistakes.

But I love my boyfriend very much. and i dont want other people to tell me what to do. however every time people give me that "oh my goodness" look i get the feeling that maybe they are right. I'm not afraid of taking that step. I'm just afraid of what is going to happen AFTER it. I'm just so afraid of becoming like my parents. they hate each other and every time i'm with one I have to listen to that one dawg on the other ( saying how much she hates him or how much he wishes they'd never gotten married ) it's the same thing with my grand parents. I just dont want to be like that. that is what i'm afraid of.

so what should i do? I'm going to follow my heart. and i'm going to get married anyway, i love brett so much i just dont want to lose him and then end up being miserable like my parents are. help please?!?!

peggyhill

I think if you are having any doubts at all, you should wait. Just because you love someone and could see yourself marrying them someday, doesn't mean that you have to now. I would get to know him better. Wait at least a year, if not more. I think a promise ring is a nice idea.

Also, if you get engaged, consider going to premarital counseling. It is a great way to get to know your partner better, avoid common relationship issues, and learn to communicate. I am going with my fiancee right now, and it is making our relationship so much stronger.

Tweebo

Mairriage is something God made, so i would start there, and (unfortunatly but not really) Your dad prolly knows the most about you in terms of wether or not your ready for marriage.
So I deff think you should talk to your dad about it.

And if your ready... your not to young lol in my oppinion.

But thats the hard part, I wish i knew if i was ready or not lol

Just have a long engagement! then when your ready your ready ha

talaniman

Don't get maried until you have learned to be independant, and have a man that can help you keep a roof over your heads, Then you will be ready to talk about it together.

mirandycc

I Am 19, And Have Been Married For A Year. My Husband Is 24. Do I Regret Marrying? Of Course I Do... I Understand You Love Him, But If It Is Meant To Be, And I Mean Really Meant To Be, What Is The Rush???? If You Do Get Married Soon, Really Think Before You Have Children. It Really Ties You Down. I Would Not Change It For The World With Mine, But Your Teen Years Are Over After Marriage, And A Child... If You Need Some One To Talk To About All Of It, I Will Be Glad To Help In Any Way

Lil_angel6600

Dont be afraid to tell your parents. But you might want to consider having a long engagement. This way it gives you time to make sure that you are ready for this. This is your life. You need to follow your heart but if you have to ask the question then you are a little afraid of the answer.

Becca1025

It's hard to really say since everyone's marriage is so different. I would not rely on recent marriages to use as a reference I have noticed that a lot of people go into marriages thinking "oh well if it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce," and I think that is the wrong attitude to have before going into a marriage. My parents got married in their very early 20's, they divorced 13 years later. My grandparents on my dad's side married when they were in their mid-late 20's and they lasted until death. My grandparents on my mothers side got married very very very young and they also lasted until death. I have noticed with them that no matter how long they were married for, they still acted like their love was still new. They did not get bored with each other, they always cared for one another and the idea of a divorce did not enter their heads. So many people now are not willing to work things out. People think a marriage just happens and they do not realize that it does mean work. All marriages have problems and you have to be willing to work on it. No marriage is perfect, they all have their little quirks. I am only 20 and my fiance is 18, we have a child together, we've lived together for going on three years (he graduated h.s at 16 and we moved in together after). We've gone through everything together especially the sterotypes held against us, and not once have we ever doubted being together. It made us stronger. We are young, but we are financially secure, we have our own cars, our own house (not renting), we have our 3 month old son, and we have some of our problems, but we work on it and we fix it. My father divorced my mother because she got overweight (she has a thyroid problem) so he married someone else who is young and thin. Make sure you really know your guy. Every morning my fiance tells me how beautiful he thinks I am, even when I gained 60 lbs when I was pregnant, I stretch marks on my belly, yet he tells me he doesnt care if I wear a bikini with my stretchmarks becuase he will think I look perfect. I had shingles on the right side of my face for two weeks, every morning he still told me that I am beautiful. I have 10 lbs more to lose to get back to pre pregnancy weight, but he tells me I do not have to lose anything because he thinks I am perfect the way I am. Thats how both my grandfathers were. They loved my grandmothers for who they were. My grandfather (the only grandparent I have left) is still mourning over my grandmother who died 11 years ago. Thats how much he loved her. So basically what I'm saying is make sure it is real. Do not just settle because he's you're "love" for this month. If there are any doubts in your mind, then I would sya to not get married. If you're still saying yes you want to get married still, then I would suggest having a long engagment, let your father get used to the idea, you and your guy figure out things financially, where are you going to live, what about college (if you plan to go), what are you two going to do incase you get pregnant, etc. My fiance and i disgussed all that before and that is probably why we can afford for me to stay home with the baby. Really really really think about all situations and disguss every single one of them with each other.

rempires

that engagement was quick very quick, i've dated girls in high school longer, but i'm not saying don't marry him. what i'm suggesting is have a 1-2 year engagement, this is a time when you can really get to know him. also because you'll be planning the wedding you WILL get into fights and you will see how well you 2 can deal with them. as for how to tell your dad i can't help you there, you know him best, you gotta tell him how you think.