I am 17 years old an am engaged to be married a couple of monthes after i turn 18 to my fiance who is 19 and will be 20 by the time we marry. When i tell people this they act very shocked and it seems as though they dissaprove. What can i do to reassure them that this is definately the person i want to spend the rest of my life with and that i am not being immature or hasty about it???

vanessarf

What about those teens who are mature, who know what responsibilty is and how to give it?

MrsSmith

I am currently engaged to be married. I will be 17 when I get Married. The date had been set for December 17, 2006. I personally know that it takes work to make a marriage last my mother went through 3 before she found one that would last. I also know that without at least some love there is no point in getting married. Because without love yeah you may never fight or argue but what kind of life would that be to know that you had to go home to someone that you didn't really want to be married to everyday. My mom was married to a friend of hers for almost 10 years believe me you and your family both know it when you are unhappy. Sooooo... Even though love is not enough to completely make a marriage work it is what lays the foundation for the marriage to work. The only way that I can think to put it in words that makes complete sense is to compare it to a house. It doesn't matter if you have the best builders in the world if you don't lay a foundation, the house will not stand for long. It may last for a few years, however, it will not last forever.

TygeressDemon

If you feel in your heart, that you are doing the right thing, then go for it!! I'm 13, and believe or not, I know what I'm talking about. If in your heart, you feel that you are doing ther right thing, then go for it. It is up to to conrol your life, not anyone elses descision. FOLLOW YOUR HEAART AND IT WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR DESTINY!!
Kirsten

sadey89

I think that most teenagers are too young to get married, but there are some, especially those who have been on their own for a while, or those who were forced to mature early in life that are able to make adult decisions. I guess I am supposed to be biased because I am 18 and getting married in the next year, but I also feel like I am at a point where I can make my own decisions responsibly. I have been on my own since 16, and living with my boyfriend for 3 monthes. Our relationship is very healthy, and very functional, expecially for people our age (he is 23) There is no right age to get married, because age is just a number, its your maturity that counts. Talk to a counselor before hand and make sure its a good decision. Long engagements are a good idea, but not necessary with everyone.

just a mom

For people very young and in love, don't substitute the adult phase for the preparation phase. You need to be an individual alone, before you can be an individual in a partnership. Grow and experience by yourself, before making the decision to get married. Finish your education and launch you career, be pepared spiritually. My 18 yr old son is getting married on Oct 7 without mine or my husband's blessing. His girlfiend/fiance's parents are supporting the marriage. It's a very sad time for our family. After twenty eight years of marriage and five children I can tell you that romantic love doesn't make a life or marriage. You need maurity, commitment and optimum compatibility.
Please think seriously about one of the most important decisions in life.

Meb

I am engaged to be married and I too am judged by how young I am. I agree that I am young, and I agree that probably the majority of people my age, are not mature enough to handle marriage. I do however want to point out that as the average age of people getting married has risen so has the divorce rate. So who is to say that age is a good indication of whether one is mature enough to be married?

It takes commitment, love, maturity, and planning. I would not even think about getting married if my fiance and I did not have over $30,000 savings and a plan to follow to be able to survive.

The bottom line is no one is qualified to judge whether someone should be married. It is a case by case situation.

Saby1103

I THINK THATS YOUNG BUT IF YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER AND YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART THIS IS THE MAN YOU ARE GONNA BE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE THEN GO FOR IT . I GOT MARRIED AT 18 AND NOW I AM 21 YEARS OLD AND AND MY MARRIAGE IS GOING GREAT. DON'T LET NOONE OR ANYTHING CHOOSE FOR YOU... GO WITH YOUR HEART ! Good luck!

Lydia

I do not think that there is anything wrong with getting married young. Personally, the reason I got married was because I got pregnant when I was fifteen and I decided to raise my child with her father. I believe that my child should not suffer because of my mistake. I must confess that our relationship was not that good before we got married, but that since than our relationship has become so strong. I truly love him. I know this is a little different with the topic, but I just felt like sharing.

Ana_IamfromColorado

I agree with Lydia, there is nothing wrong with getting married young! I got married as soon as I finished high school, first I thought that I won’t be able to have a higher education, but that is not the case. Being married helped me even more, because my husband is always there for me; it makes me want to try even more. I can't stand people who say "what about your education?". You can still pursue your dreams..even if you are married young!

Linda_FromCalifornia

I used to hate it when people would tell me that I will never be able to a doctor, because I got married young. As soon as I got married, for a while I did not go to school and then after that I went to school right away. My husband did not have a problem with me finishing school. Now, I am 29 and I am a doctor. I am very happy with my marriage. So, I agree with you Ana!