I am 17 years old an am engaged to be married a couple of monthes after i turn 18 to my fiance who is 19 and will be 20 by the time we marry. When i tell people this they act very shocked and it seems as though they dissaprove. What can i do to reassure them that this is definately the person i want to spend the rest of my life with and that i am not being immature or hasty about it???

Sonnenwende

I know this is over a year old, so I'd just like to make a general comment. I really don't think 17 year olds should get married. There may be a small, very small, handful that are ready for the heavy responsiblity that is marriage at 17, but they are not the majority. I think most people need time to be young and dumb and find out who they really are for the most part before they marry. Most 17 year olds haven't had that chance. But that's just my opinion.

Brandi Nikki

if you are in love why does it matter? age aint nothing but a #!

Sonnenwende

Believe me, love is not all you need to have a good, healthy, functioning marriage. It also takes a lot of maturity and responsibilty, something the vast majority of people in their teens don't have.

fredg

Hi,
The reason people are shocked at getting married as teenagers is simple; It is a fact that in America, 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce!!!
In bi-racial marriages, the divorce rate is much higher.
The "old" days of young persons getting married as teenagers, and living the rest of their life with their spouse are gone. Why? Divorce is too easy now. If you don't make the marriage work, then it's easy to end it.
Think about what you are saying.
Wait until another couple of years. Will you feel the same way then? Still want to marry the same person??
Wait awhile.
Best of luck,
fredg

mike145k

first of all you are to young both of you are you should finish school and the same with your mate after he is able to earn an income to support a family then think about getting married,dont get married until then other wise you will end up in a terrable relationship,with kids and then what will you do how will you support your kids

lickemlolly

i do agree that 17 is too young to get married...take it from me i have been engaged twice before i hit 19 and didnt work either time..never been married...you should give it some time and see what happens...as the two of you mature and graduate school things about you will change and you want to be sure that those changes are going to work out for the both of you...marriage is a big commitment and its forever...wait a while you are young and you have the rest of your lives to be together

lickemlolly

0r maybe even consider a long engagement..make sure its right before you do it hun...even if youre engaged your still commited..

fredg

Hi,
The reason people are shocked is simple; they know you are too young.
There is nothing you can do to prove it otherwise.
You will probably get married, and at 18, will probably be divorced before you are 23. If you are lucky, there will be no children at this stage in your life.
Best of luck, though.
fredg

breakfast4dinner

So, I presume if you are young and reading this, you are contemplating marriage. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20, he was 21. We dated for 5 1/2 years and got married while I was in the middle of my junior year in college. We have been married for 13 years and I love him more than life. But wait until you say, told you so! Love is not enough! Following your heart is not the answer because your feelings will fail you! There will be days when you are not feeling in love. But then again, love is not just a feeling. You have to invest in your marriage and plan for the most difficult so you get the best. Don't make a decision based on romantic notions. Be wise. This is the rest of your life. There is a reason people say I got married too young. I have never met anyone who has ever regreted waiting. If it's meant to be, it will be meant to be a year, 2 years...from now.

vanessarf

I dated plenty of guys, lived a rough life, and have experienced plenty. I'm currently 18 but will be turning 19 in September. My boyfriend who is currently 21 proposed to me when I was 17. I was shocked and didn't give him a yes or no for months because I thought I'm too young, what would my family think, what is he thinking...Then I came to terms with all my thoughts. I love this guy, but we should have a long engagement first, and find that we really can work through thick and thin. We've been engaged for almost 2 years now and have been dating for almost 3 years...We're living together and granted we do have our rough times we make it through and we are getting married June 3, 2006. I do believe there is truth to getting married to young, but only you know what you really feel. I knew this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with because when I picture the future I can't picture it without him, he's my lover and my best friend. We can work through anything together...And yes, if it's true love why get married at a young age...because it gives you that extra step, that extra feeling, that extra happiness...If someone asks me aren't you too young I tell them in your eyes maybe but in my eyes I don't see an age I just see spending the rest of my life with my soul mate the only person I will ever love with my full heart...My advice: don't marry young unless there is no a single doubt in your mind, unless you not only can be a lover to your partner but also a best friend, unless you can work through anything together, don't worry what others say because they aren't you they would never understand because people always have some comment to make whether you are 16 or 76...they always have something to say it's human...It's important to have that feeling of "just knowing." Marriage is hard work, some days you'll think you just can't do it and others you'll think life couldn't get any better. It's not just love you need to consider it's everything involved in life.