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I am 17 years old an am engaged to be married a couple of monthes after i turn 18 to my fiance who is 19 and will be 20 by the time we marry. When i tell people this they act very shocked and it seems as though they dissaprove. What can i do to reassure them that this is definately the person i want to spend the rest of my life with and that i am not being immature or hasty about it???
I am 17 years old an am engaged to be married a couple of monthes after i turn 18 to my fiance who is 19 and will be 20 by the time we marry. When i tell people this they act very shocked and it seems as though they dissaprove. What can i do to reassure them that this is definately the person i want to spend the rest of my life with and that i am not being immature or hasty about it???
It doesn't matter if you love this guy and he treats you right and you treat him right. Then you can get married.
You can't convince people with words. If you are ready, act ready. Get an education, don't have children until you are ready, be financially independent, pay your bills on time, be mindful of your money, don't drink or otherwise break the law, treat each other in a mature and loving way (no yelling, swearing, taking the low road, violence, etc.). Don't expect your parents to continu e to parent you day to day - if you are adult enough to marry, stand up and be mature. People will see you as you present yourselves. It's that simple.
There is no quick way to get them on your side. It may take years. But one day if you truly are ready, they will say "and we thought it wouldn't last - who knew?"
Make sure you really are ready. Do you know how to cook? Do Laundry? Pay bills? Establish credit? Do you both have well-paying jobs? Can you qualify for an apartment on your own? What about school...what's the plan? Have you been to premarital counseling? What's your agreement on going out wiht friends? What if he decides to go out and party at 21...and you have a baby at home? It will probably happen...how will you feel about it?
You have to confron t these things very realistically. Nothing wrong with a long engagement, either...arrange to both go to the same college, or study at home and commit to saving all that you earn for your eventual marriage so you have some savings, and even a downpayment for a house, before you marry. Just a suggestion...
If the relationship doesn't last, you'll still have your money and education!
You are young yes, but if you and your fiance can manage the responsibilities that comes with marriage and if you are both truly in love with each other, i say go for it. I understand where your coming from i'm in the same situation even though i'm a bit older than you are. What matters is your happiness, not what other persons think, just ensure you both plan to continue your education in order to have properous future. I wish you all the best.
Hi. I am in the same situation. I am 17 and engaged. My family and my fiance's are very supportive. We are getting married in August. Love is all that matters at this point. Do what you want to. Just make sure you have money saved, reliable vehicles, a plan of a place to live, and all the love to get through it . I've heard many people say "If you're prepared for all the bad stuff and you're willing to work hard and try everyday then you will do fine, Just remember it's not going to be easy". I really wish you the best of luck My fiance and I hope to start our family soon after we are married
Hi. I am in the same situation. I am 17 and engaged. My family and my fiance's are very supportive. We are getting married in August. Love is all that matters at this point. Do what you want to. Just make sure you have money saved, reliable vehicles, a plan of a place to live, and all the love to get through it . I've heard many people say "If you're prepared for all the bad stuff and you're willing to work hard and try everyday then you will do fine, Just remember it's not going to be easy". I really wish you the best of luck My fiance and I hope to start our family soon after we are married
You have answered a May 2004 post - it's been opened a couple of times but OP has not been back.
Unfortunatly, you will never stop getting these looks. When I got married I was 16. I was engaged a little over 3 months to plan a semi-decent wedding. And that whole engagment and even after we were married we got so many nay-sayers. It never ends. I mean, my husband and i are a rare statistic.. we are still married even though we married young. We had 2 other friends of ours who married young and I'm sad to say they didnt make it to 22 before they were all divorced. But I will tell you, adults look at you that way because they know how much growing up you will do from 17 to even just 21. I am NOT the same person I was 12 years ago when if first said I do. And unfortunatly most young relationships cannot withstand the change in each other that will def. occur. If I had known then, what I know now.. I would NEVER have gotten married before I turned 25. I love my husband, but I missed out on so much because I was stuck at home being a wife.. If you are not careful you can each begin to resent each other. My advice is if he loves you and you love him and it's the everlasting kind, then wait intil you are BOTH in your 20's.
Marriage is scary. I'm 20, nearly 21 and I think that you do not know what marriage is -- what a relationship is, until you live with the person for at least 6 months. Things change when you live with someone, when you effectively are living the married life. I recommend it. It opens your eyes to what your significant other's characteristics really are.
What really saddens me is the amount of young church kids (I used to be one - I don't identify with the "culture" anymore) who are pressured into marrying for the sex and the fear of burning with lust. I have met girls as young as 16 getting into marriage. No girl is ready for marriage at 16 these days. Not at 17, 18 or 19 and for some, 20. I think if you're so horny that you need to make a life altering decision, you need to get a sex toy.
hi!! I am in a VERY similar position. I am now 18, have been engaged for almost a year, and when I am married I will be 19 and he will be 20. It's not necessarily age that affects the marriage, but where you are as a person at that age. Some people in the 40s are WAY too immature to get married still, obviously not because of their age, but because they just aren't ready. Really think on if you are ready to be married, and to devote the rest of your life to your man. If you think you are, that is great!! The main reason I don't listen to all the crap I get about getting married so young is because of my great grandmother. She was married at 16 to a 26 year old man. They were VERY happily married literally "til death". It can be done, it depends on where your heart is <3 So if you know it is right for you, then just ignore the bad comments and take in and cherish the kind words and any advice you receive. Good luck, and I hope it works out for you two!!
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