My best friend is marrying my ex wife, what do I do?

I have to agree with Jose & Black, Ex's espeacially someone you were married to should be off limits to your best friend.

Does not matter if you are still married to that person or not you too share a histroy together and your best idssupposed to be loyal to your side and your pain of ending the marriage, not go an take your place.


THere is something sneaky here, are you sure they were not having an affair while you were still married?

I have gotten rid of so-called-best-friends for reasons much smaller than this.

YOur "best friends" not only does not respect your boundaries he did not even consider your feelings towards all this. He didn't consider if you would want to attend the wedding at all---much less be his best man!?

If you dig in, you will see a lot of areas where your "best" friend may have betrayed you. Like started a rumor about you to your Ex, or then wife.. Who knows what....

Sounds like a sneaky, underhanded person who can keep it secret who they are daitng from their closest friends much less who they are about to marry.

Don't go to the wedding. Try to look for a new best friend.

Watch out for more sneaky stunts by this person..in the future!

Amen!

AMEN! There's an unwritten code. As your friend, your ex wife should have been off limits. Just my opinion.

Thanks all for your input. I think I will go to the wedding and keep my best friend

Not everyone is going to agree but I think in this situation you're the bigger person!

I had just gave birth to my ex-fiance's son when my best friend of 10 years came to me and told me she was in love with my sons father. She wanted me to be ok with it. But he left me when I was 4 months pregnant and to my knowlege... They hated each other. She hated him for putting me through that. Its been 4 years and I am remarried but it still bothers me. We are no longer friends and my ex signed away all of his rights to my son and my husband now adopted him.
Anyway... My point is... Everything happens for a reason. If it makes you un-easy... Don't go. If you are totally cool with it... Go. Just do what you think is best.

Good luck!

I don't think you have any issues with getting over it or whatever - it's just weird when you've been married to someone and now they are marrying your best friend. It's uncomfortable to bring these two intimate relationships together - you can no longer be candid about this significant relationship in your past with your best friend, and being asked to be best man is - well, a very weird request.

What to do - say "no" to being the best man. Send a lovely card to your ex-wife wishing her well and telling her your glad she is finding happiness and moving forward (if you feel that way). Shake your buddy's hand and wish him well. Decline the wedding invitation, do not be the best man and do not explain your reasoning. They are clods if they cannot figure it out on their own.

Be cordial when you see them, but what's important is your comfort level. If you aren't comfortable around them, don't be around them...that simple.

I truly don't think your best friend is a best friend any longer, I'm sorry to say. Best friends have some boundaries, and marrying your ex-wife is so bizarrely off course, you just shouldn't have to be asked to deal with that. It isn't because you still have feelings for her or whatever- that's not what it's about. It's about being able to have your best friend, while moving on from your ex-wife, and not having your confidences shared with either of them exchanged between the two of them.

I say, be done with them both graciously, but quickly!

Here here.. I agree.. My child's father and I are best friends now and me and his fiancŽe are real close. And he and she are in our wedding... We are ex's for a reason and we made the best of it.

If he started dating her after the marriage was over... then... well he should have asked your permission to do this. Nonetheless you sound like a civil and enlightened person and your friend is not being sneaky or deceptive with you. He loves you and asked you to be his best man. You and your wife weren't right for each other... I am sure you've found someone better. Just wish your friend the very bet of luck and accept his offer to be best man. That will score you huge points in everyone's mind and kind of make you a hero.

This question is from 2008!