My sister in law is getting married. she is my husbands sister. we are not close at all but her mother and her are so snooty that I believe they asked me to be the maid because it would look bad if the asked someone else. to make a long story short, they never have really like me, they have always treated me like they wish my husband picked a better wife. I am a wonderful wife to him, i love him with all my heart and he me, we have 2 kids and 12 years together. They are making me very uncomfortable during this whole thing. They treat me like I am white trash and they are the trumps. The whole thing has made me cry at least twice already. I really need to get out of this. We would like to just be guests at the wedding. but I know if i back out of this it will start a war and i don't want to do that. I just want to gracefully back out. I so do not want to be her maid of honor .. i don't even like her that much. Her husband doesnt' believe in GOD and I am a strong believer in JESUS and this is something I feel that is another issue. How can I stand up for a wedding to someone who doesnt believe in GOD.

I really just need some advice as to how to get out of this, my husband loves me and see's the way they treat me and says it's fine if this is what I want. How can I gracefully get out of being a maid of honor to snooty people who allready hate me. I really, really don't want bad feelings.

Thanks!!!

Altenweg

It's only one day, can't you just bite your lower lip and get through it?

How many preparations have been made, did you already go dress shopping, shoe shopping, or were you just asked recently?

If it's recent, then just let them know that you are uncomfortable standing up for her, seeing as you really don't know eachother that well. Maybe suggest that one of her friends be her matron, not you.

It sounds like maybe they are trying to bring you closer to the family, is that a possibility? What does your husband think?

Good luck.

rudolph1

I really don't think they are trying to bring me closer because in every other situation they push me away. My husband see's the way they treat me and says he will take care of it and get me out of it but I know it will cause a war and I don't want that to happen. My husband loves me very much and it pisses him off to see them treat me like I am beneath them. I know they only asked me because of how it looks to the outside. that's how they are. She is getting married in 2009 so this is all new. she just asked me a couple of months ago but I already have pages and pages of things emailed to me that I need to do. I just got a boob job and now she say "oh, you know you have to wear a dress with a big bow to cover your boobs" and I said "that's fine, it's your wedding" and she says, I might just make you wear one in your hair. I mean that's just being mean! but I would do it if that's what she wants. We went to a party on sunday and they were just making comments, negative ones' towards me. It was just an uncomfortable day. that's when I decided I just don't want to put myself thru this. I know it's going to be a lot of grief for the next year.

Fr_Chuck

If you don't want to, just tell them,

Altenweg

Nothing to lose then, just tell them that you've thought it over and don't want to do it. Tell them right away, the sooner the better. Hope it works out for you.

rudolph1

ya know, your so right! I just need to strap my balls on and tell them. this way she can find someone else.

Thanks!

Altenweg

No problem, that's why we're here. Good luck.