I am 20 and got married in August and have not told my mother?

N0help4u · Dec 15, 2008, 10:47 AM

Why would she be mad? Did she not like him?
I know I would be really upset if one of my kids got married and waited to tell me, but I wouldn't be mad that they got married. At 20 it is time to make your own decisions and learn your own lessons.

yogiboo · Dec 15, 2008, 10:49 AM

The only suggestion I have is to be well prepared when you tell her. If you and your husband have a plan for your future, make sure its realistic and be ready to explain it to her. Try to give her as much reassurance as possible.

Good luck!

Fr_Chuck · Dec 15, 2008, 11:00 AM

Then you are not old enough and mature enough to have gotten married. If you are afraid or ashamed of your actions or hide things this is what children do.

The longer you wait, the worst it will be, call her, text her, write a a email or a letter. But start acting your age and responsibility and tell her.

HistorianChick · Dec 15, 2008, 11:21 AM

Wait a minute - I just answered this question on another page.... http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/wedding...er-292444.html

The other one has the added fact that you're still living at home and she is paying your college tuition?

If this is the case, you're a married woman and you're using your Mom for money. That's not good.

Its time to be honest.

Take the responsibility that you owned when you married and tell your Mother...

N0help4u · Dec 15, 2008, 11:23 AM

So where does your husband live and why is he not wanting you to live with him? Simply because of the tuition or something else?

Girlygirlgirl21 · Dec 15, 2008, 11:30 AM

I am living with my mother and have not taken the next step to move out. I know I wantt o be with him, but I also want to make my mother happy to.

HistorianChick · Dec 15, 2008, 11:35 AM

The thing is, now that you're married, you need to be with your husband.

You made the decision to marry, rather than continue dating through college. No one forced you to make that decision.

You can't have the best of both worlds in this situation. This is something that should have been addressed before you married.

Honestly, if I was your Mother - or if your Mom was my mother - she will love you, be happy for you, hug and love on you, but then say, "Ok, time for you to move out and take on the responsibility of being a wife." If you were my daughter, I would stop paying for your tuition. You made this decision.

First step is to get a place of your own with your new husband.

N0help4u · Dec 15, 2008, 11:41 AM

My mother always made me feel obligated to her apron strings.
She made me feel emotionally hopeless like in my mind I felt like a 12 yr old. She kept me feeling that way until I was 28 and had a baby. I moved to Texas for a few years to break the feeling.
You need to accept that just as your mother eventually grew up, got married and left home she should accept the same thing will happen with you. It is normal. She should be happy that you got married and not like a lot of girls nowadays that just announce they are moving in with the guy.

Girlygirlgirl21 · Dec 15, 2008, 11:49 AM

I understand, but my mother never got married and has high standard for my husband. I just hope that she will be happy for me. I want to make her proud of me, but I know that she will not be happy.

I am 20 and got married in August and have not told my mother?

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