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dj09 · Feb 18, 2009, 09:15 PM

OK, a few days ago my girlfriend and I were sending flurty text messages to each other. One night my girlfriend forgets to delete them. The next morning her mom find them and starts a huge argument with her and calls her a "f***ing slut". My girlfriend is not a slut at all, not one person would even say anything like that about her. Her mom saw the texts she called her that. After calling her that, her mom highly believes that me andmy girlfriend had sex(it's the last thing on both of our minds). Because she "highly belives" that we had sex, she asks "when is it due?" Now me and my girlfriend are both mad and confussed why she would do that. Me and my girlfriend are both 14 years old, we are not in any sexual intercourse, we have gone far as kissing and that's all. From what I know, her mom callng her a slut I thought of would be impossible and/or would never happen. My girlfriend told her mom it was nust flurting but she didn't believe her at all, she tried convincing her too, but it did t work. Now she is grounded for a while, and her mom doesn't trust me at all now. Idea why her mom would do this?

southerngalps · Feb 18, 2009, 09:26 PM

That seems to be her way of parenting. She wants to make her daughter feel that way. It doesn't mean it is right.

She wants to make her feel bad, as you say, for something she didn't do.

Your girlfriend will have to have a long talk with her and calm her down.

IheartEdward · Feb 26, 2009, 01:46 PM

This may sound like a really weird suggestion but to me it jeasously of being young and flirty.. is her mum single or not in any serious relationships?

asking · Feb 26, 2009, 01:55 PM

I'm really sorry this is happening.

I personally don't think it's jealousy. This mother is insecure about her control over her daughter and is way over reacting. She is fearful and afraid of her daughter becoming pregnant etc. She thinks it reflects badly on her as a mother. The root of the problem, in my opinion, is that she doesn't trust her daughter to tell her the truth and is assuming the worst. They need to be talking more so the mother knows her own daughter and what she would do and not do. It's possible your girlfriend could initiate some of this communication --in a general way--just talking about what she does every day (not reporting in though) and likewise asking her mother what She's been up to. But I can imagine your girlfriend is feeling very hurt and angry right now. When things cool down, though, I think it might help.

All you can do at this point is comport yourselves with self respect and not react back, as that will just make things worse. Does your girlfriend have another adult in her life who might be willing to speak on her behalf?

ZoeMarie · Feb 26, 2009, 01:57 PM

Did your girlfriend's mom have her when she was young? Maybe that would have something to do with her reaction.

O_Troubles · Feb 26, 2009, 02:06 PM

She's a parent she's worried about her baby girl? Some parents may not deal with things the best, so her anger means she cares enough to get involved but its just in the wrong way. Ask to set up a meeting with her and your girl friend let her know who you are what your intentions are. If she doesn't agree don't worry dating someone your parent doesn't like is part of growing up. And honestly at 14 this relationship may not last that long at all.

spitvenom · Feb 26, 2009, 02:08 PM

What did the text say that set her off?

MsMewiththat · Feb 26, 2009, 02:10 PM

It's insane to state that a parent would get angry and call names because she is jealous. I can say as a parent of a teenager, when you learn certain things you are not mentally perpared for your reaction can easily be one of anger. Fear would be around one of the first as well. Her mother most likely becomes a bit irrational when she is faced with things that she can't control that make her fearful and that results in anger. The grounding is common. Secondly, depending on what it was that she read, she may find it very difficult to believe that if you are writing about it that you haven't previously experienced it.

brad platt · Mar 5, 2009, 04:29 PM

Wheres DAD

kekoface27 · Jul 31, 2012, 11:24 AM

Im having this same problem.