why cant i kill myself

J-marie · #1 Oct 5, 2009, 04:47 PM

I'm 17 and I've been a cutter since I was about 12.... this year I started taking sleeping pills to kill myself nothing works... I hate my life I hate my self I want to die so bad... I feel alone... I'm stupid I'm retarded I can't do anything rite... I'm a up... I had a messed up life n it is jus continueing... I keep thinkin I had enuf I've bin tortured enuf... imy mom is around bt not around me... my dad doesn't even claim me I don't have 1 single friend. I swear I cry my self 2 sleep ... n sometimes I don't even sleep.... I'm stupid... I get mad n I hit myself I don't know why I just can control it I don't want to hit myself... wen I cry I can't breath.... I hate myself n I hate my life I just want to die.... I just want to die.... I'm tired of faking happiness.... ders none there.... I hate how I look I hate me.... I have such an attitude n I don't want it.... I want to b nice... I want to be pretty... people tell me all the time I'm so pretty but I don't feel it.... I'm ready to let everything go... things I've been trying obviously don't work... I have stupid scars for no reason because none of them went deep enuf I'm ready for it.... bt sumthing is telln me nt to I just need help... I jus pt it all out there

mudweiser · Oct 5, 2009, 04:54 PM

Have you gone to a doctors about this- I say you do that! You need to tell your parents, have they not noticed the scars?

You need help IMMEDIATELY!

Sarah

mudweiser · Oct 5, 2009, 04:59 PM

What is it that bothers you so much that you want to kill yourself?

Because you don't think your pretty? Guess what, today's society no one's pretty. Everyone gets called ugly, even Marilyn Monroe was called ugly. Why are you so worried about being pretty? Where did this start? Who planted this seed?

If you hate your body so much do something about it. Cutting yourself WILL just leave you with marks-- why do this if you feel your not pretty? It makes no sense. You want to get thinner, eat better, do exercise. Popping pills won't make you feel better about yourself.

If you want to be nice than be nice-- HOLD your tongue.

What is the root of this?
Were you molested as a child?
Abused?

Why do you want to kill yourself-- because of vanity?

Sarah

itsamor · Oct 5, 2009, 05:04 PM

I do the same exact thing..its horrible i just want to die already

itsamor · Oct 5, 2009, 05:05 PM

Infact you sound exactly the same as me you're not alone

mudweiser · Oct 5, 2009, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by itsamor

Infact you sound exactly the same as me you're not alone

Why do you want to die?

Sarah

J-marie · Oct 5, 2009, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

What is it that bothers you so much that you want to kill yourself?

Because you don't think your pretty? Guess what, today's society no one's pretty. Everyone gets called ugly, even Marilyn Monroe was called ugly. Why are you so worried about being pretty? Where did this start? Who planted this seed?

If you hate your body so much do something about it. Cutting yourself WILL just leave you with marks-- why do this if you feel your not pretty? It makes no sense. You want to get thinner, eat better, do exercise. Popping pills won't make you feel better about yourself.

If you want to be nice than be nice-- HOLD your tongue.

What is the root of this?
Were you molested as a child?
Abused?

Why do you want to kill yourself-- because of vanity?

Sarah

I was raped wen I was younger... but I'm not saying I hate my body my body doesn't bother me it jus wen I'm lookin around I feel like I'm ugly compared to others... I'm 135 lbs I'm nt big... I gess its easier to read than to live it

mudweiser · Oct 5, 2009, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J-marie

I was raped wen I was younger... but I'm not saying I hate my body my body doesn't bother me it jus wen I'm lookin around I feel like I'm ugly compared to others... I'm 135 lbs I'm nt big... I gess its easier to read than to live it

Get help. Don't hurt yourself even more.

Get stronger. Not weaker.

Don't let HIM win. Don't let HIM take over you.

Not for another year. Not for another day. Not for another hour.

You want change then CHANGE.

If you keep doing what your doing then you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

Life is tough, but does that mean we should be weak and let the things that happen in our life take over us- I think NOT.

You DO need help. If you don't confront this you will ALWAYS feel this way-- no matter how many pills you take, no matter how many times you cut yourself.

How is killing yourself going to solve anything? You want to feel better then get better. Dying will just terminate you-- and the guy who took your innocence will also have taken your life away from you.

You'll be dead. That'll be the end. No more living.

Wouldn't you rather SOLVE your issue than to die and have the issue win you over?

Sarah

J-marie · Oct 5, 2009, 05:31 PM

Its hard... its really hard I try 2 look at it that way but its so tiring... I want someone 2 help me. N kinda hold my hand thru this but i don't have any1.... and I've gotten help honestly it made it worse. I can't open up 2 a stranger dat gts paid 2 listen....

mudweiser · Oct 5, 2009, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J-marie

Its hard... its really hard I try 2 look at it that way but its so tiring... I want someone 2 help me. N kinda hold my hand thru this but i don't have any1.... and I've gotten help honestly it made it worse. I can't open up 2 a stranger dat gts paid 2 listen....

The only person that can get you through this is YOU.

You CANNOT rely on someone to "save" you.

A therapist will guide you!

You are not on your own but only YOU can make the change.

Right now your talking to strangers, your venting your issues that's good! Where do you live? I could help find some hotlines where they can actually assist you with getting help like group counseling.

Don't let another day go by.

Sarah



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