Holy *bleep*, I haven't been here on years, I'm still surprised I remembered my login information. This thread is also posted in dating, but I think I'll get a more honest answer on the Teen Board.

Anyhow, I met my current girlfriend of now 3 months at my High School's Homecoming Dance. Talked to her a little bit, thought she was a pretty interesting sophomore (I'm a senior), decided I would ask for her name and number, and hopefully make a new friend. 3 weeks, one date, and one make-out session later I decided I decided I would ask her out, she said yes.

On our first date, I found out that her mother died of cancer three years ago, and her father (whom she's been on somewhat rocky terms) is in the Army, so she lives with her Grandparents. Her father visits every now and then, but I was more preoccupied with getting to know her grandfather since that who she lives with. The way I saw it, he's most likely old fashioned (which I like/respect) so I would get to know him face to face, and keep it old fashioned. Flash forward probably a month or two, I've been to her house multiple times, and her grandpa seems to love me, in fact her whole family does.
I had met her father at Christmas, and I originally thought that he liked me enough. Now because she's a teenager girl (and I can see why they do this) she isn't allowed to ride with anybody, nor can she go on dates. Now of course, we've sneaked around and hung out at places but I never liked the idea of going behind her grandfathers back. Said restrictions also didn't help when she told me she would be moving to Kansas (9 hour drive) at the beginning of summer for a year. I decided to talk to my best friend James, whom I go to for all my advice, and he gave me the expected "hang out with her as much as possible before she moves" card. I knew that both me and Meghan were bored with the fact that all our relationship was was just me going to her house, us watching a movie, and the occasional meeting in the hallway. She had mentioned that she felt horrible because she wasn't allowed to do anything multiple times. I decided that her grandfather had known me for 3 months, seemed to like me, So I would talk to him about letting me drive her around. So earlier this morning I head over to her house while she was at Drivers Ed and had a chat with him.

I told him that I was trying to be a mature, honorable kid with a head on my shoulders by coming to him. I told him that since Meg only has 4/5 months, that I want to hang out as much as possible but under his rules. I said that I would be more than willing to call on the hour every hour, or anything he suggested to keep in constant contact with him while we were out. He told me that he respected the fact that I came to him (I kept it old fashioned) and that normally he would allow it but it wasn't his decision it was her fathers. He told me that he would inform her father that I came to him like a man, and that I was being the complete opposite of how he was at my age (A womanizer) and that I was a good kid, So I had brownine points.

I was excited beyond belief, the way I still see it, what reasonable man would deny an offer like that? A high-school senior who wasn't being sneaky and being a man about it and giving a reasonable offer, and someone that his father basicially praised? Well I got the text message this afternoon saying a blantant "NO'. I was heartbroken!, I still am!! I can't believe that he shot me down, when I was trying to be a man about this!! I can understand he's being protective, but he's met me before, and if I were in his shoes I would have embraced a good highschooler, not denied him!!So anyhow I informed Meg of what had happened about two hours ago, and she's still mad that our relationship is boring. I'm hoping that her grandfather will see that this is ridiculous and hopefully make an exection, because honestly it is, but they haven't talked about it yet.

So here I am people of the internet, I've got a girl I care about ALOT who's moving in May, were bored of the fact that all I do is go over to her house, and a fathers thats lost his marbles. I told her that since she is returning in a year, if we still contuine to date, that I would be willing to wait for her. I'm trying not to come off as a lovesick horndog, but I really don't know what to do. And I really don't want to lie to to her grandfather to have "dates".

Wow I just typed out a whole long thing that accidentally got deleted. Here goes round #2... though I probably won't get out all I had said the first time around.

You definitely did the right thing by asking like that. Her grandfather said it was up to her dad, and her dad said no. Unfortunately that's just kind of the way it goes. And no it is not fair, at all. But some parents are just more strict than others. And since he's not around all of the time he probably sees her still as younger than she is. So you guys are going to have to make the best of what you have.

Are you sure that she is bored of just watching movies? I mean I would say to her something like "I would like to take you out, but we aren't allowed to go on dates. What would you like to do together?" maybe she will have some good ideas.

Some ideas for home 'dates'

Making brownies/cookies/or baking & decorating a cake together.

Pulling out an old board game

Going for a walk around the neighborhood holding hands

Movies & popcorn, can still be fun

Good luck! And I wouldn't tell her you will 'wait' for her, a year is a long time, but I don't doubt you will like her when she comes back. I would just tell her you can't wait for her to get back & maybe you can pick things up again then. She will be older then too & most likely able to go out on real dates.

I agree with the above poster 100%

I have to mention something. You state multiple times in your post that you were being a man about it and being honorable by asking face-to-face and not being sneaky. Quite the contrary actually, you acted differently then you would have normally based on evidence collected from past meetings with the grandfather. You realize he was old fashioned, you figured you'd get him to say Yes if you were old fashioned with your approach. This is being sneaky. You're trying to use his old fashioned character against himself to say yes. Her father could have seen right through it causing him to still say NO.

The reason I say this is this. The entire post you said you were trying to be this or that. You never stated that's how you were raised which leads me to believe you usually wouldn't have done that.

Does this make sense?

Totally agree with both posters, and I would add, if you want her father's respect, you'll have to meet him on his terms. If he says no, consider trying to meet him in person if that's possible and ask him what he would need to be reassured about you as a person; if it's not possible to meet him, respect his wishes and move on. A year is a long time to wait for either one of you; don't make any promises and see what happens when you're back in the same place.