Asked Nov 13, 2010, 11:24 AM
I have a really obnoxious clingy friend. She is obviously insecure and needy because of that, but I am a very independent person and her clingyness makes me angry. This is a typical senerio with her:
We both get out of Spanish class and we're walking down the hall. The only thing on my mind (because I'm starving) is to get my lunch and eat. Clingy friend comes up behind me:
(CF= Clingy Friend)
CF: Why didn't you wait for me?!
Me: Oh, I just thought I'd get my lunch and meet you down there.
CF: BUT YOU DIDN'T WAIT FOR ME!
CF: Why are you angry with me?! What did I do?!
Me: (?) I'm not angry with you...?
Etc., Etc., Etc.,
Obviously insecure, but I really hate hanging out with her. I would like to tell her that she needs to give me some space, but she doesn't listen. She is such a drama queen, so she needs as much drama as possible and when I don't feed the situation, if I ignore her until she comes to her senses she makes a HUGE deal out of it all. I would love to rid myself of her but she thinks I'm her best friend and rags about how awful I am if we get into a "fight" ("fight" here meaning that she is angry at me because I'm "angry" at her...bleh). Everyone else hates her so there is nowhere else she can go if we ditch her except to the group of my other friend who is not even part of the whole thing and is told by the clingy friend to call me a "B****" or something similar even though it is clear that she won't because she and I are much better friends than clingy friend and I. It's very obnoxious. Here is the most recent "fight" that is now over (thank the lord):
One lunch clingy friend comes up to me and says,
"Let's go eat!"
Me: I have to get my lunch first, can I meet you?
CF: Well... Okay...
Me: Okay see you in a few minutes
I am walking away and my other friend comes up to me. (Other friend =OF)
OF: Hey,clingy friend told me to come with you so you can't ditch us.
OF: Lets ditch her!
Me: Sure, whatever (angry because now I apparentally need a babysitter, and worn out from dealing with clingy friend, I oblige)
OF: Lets go!
When we come back inside from lunch clingy friend comes up to me and says,
CF: I'm glad YOU think this is so f****** funny! (runs away)
Me: Wait--- clingy friend!
CF: Don't even talk to me!
Me: OOkay... Talk to you later...?
OF(s): (Come up to me) Clingy friend is so awful! She is such a b****!
Me: Yeah...I know, whatever, this happens so often I don't even want to deal with it.
OF (s): Agreed!
Because I felt bad, I apologised to one of my other friends who OF and I ditched that day. He didn't even care.all he said was, "That's okay, but I wished I was with you and not with Clingy Friend."
Everyone hates her! She is very annoying, so so annoying, the kind of annoying that makes you want to rip your hair out because that night I got a text from clingy friend (I rue the day that I gave her my phone number) saying,
"What is going on?!"
"What did I do? Can you tell me?!"
Well, clingy friend, what a cliche thing for you to do, and not like I hadn't TRIED to tell her seven times "what was going on" and "how to fix it". I just want her to go away, but I don't want everyone else to think I'm a horrible person for abandoning this "poor" "friendless" girl. Because I know that if I DO abandon her she will be saying to everyone, "____ is such a b****! She is so horrible, and such an awful friend!" I've tried telling her cordially in the heat of a "fight and afterwards, but she only gets defensive and won't listen. Please, any suggestions on how my friends and I can rid ourselves of her besides calmly telling her what she has done wrong, because that obviously doesn't work. No critisism please, I've been feeling very guilty lately that I've been being mean to such a fragile person. Just suggestions, don't you agree that the way she acts is totally ridiculous?