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My 16 year old daughter has been dating a 17 year old boy for several months. At first, my wife and I found him to be a very nice boy. It didn't take long, though for him to show himself to be a "hot head". I have heard him yelling at my daughter on the phone, I have seen texts from him, in which he calls my daughter foul names and has accused her of having sex with an entire soccer team! He also threw a cussing fit in a class where the teacher had to have the resource officer escort him the the office. I have refused to allow her to go out with him because of this, even though I realize they can do alot behind my back.
My daughter assures me he has never been abusive. My concern is obvious. I don't want to allow my daughter to be in harms way. Should I forbid her dating him or should I keep him close?
by forbidding it your daughter will be tempted to be with him more and even if she is not tempted to she might take every chance she can to see him or him to her.
be careful of how you do it and dont come off as un-trusting of your daughter because then she might shoot back at you.
how do u know about the texts, is my question.
i see that you are trying to help your daughter but
dont you think she is old enough to handle it on her own?
shes a big girl, and she needs to deal with her own problems.
IN some states she can legally see any guy she wants at 16 and the parents have N0 rights to say otherwise---as far as the law is concerned.
Your daughter is not seeing the yelling, cussing, accusations and belittling as abuse. In her mind it proves her love for him that she can endure the treatment. She has no comprehension that it only gets worse. She is not seeing that if the boy accuses her he has serious trust issues. Most likely will end up controlling her to the point that if they ever got married he would watch and control her every move to the point she felt totally trapped and smothered.
She can not see that this is only a fraction of what he is capable of. Often verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse.
I think one thing you might try is get her in a domestic abuse class where other women can tell her that they thought their bf was the love of their life and wouldn't listen to others and where it ended them up at.
Do some yelling yourself, and let him know that he is not to be that way around your daughter is probably what you want to do, but may not be the politically correct thing. Beats me.
She is a minor and it is your responsibility as a parent to intervene. She can get mad if she wants to. (she obviously does not understand this boy is verbally abusing her.)
Parents need to stop worrying about the kids getting mad, she may but in the long run, you will have done your job. There is no way I would stand by and allow some punk to abuse my daughter and not do anything.
She is 16 and under your roof and protection, and you have very right to forbid her from seeing this boy if you see him as being dangerous. I would talk to this boy's parents and let them know what's happening and ask that they get a handle on him as well.
Just me, I would have a personal, private conversation with the fellow and let him know how fast he can get my shotgun shoved up his a$$, if I even think he is mistreating my daughter. My wife took care of that though well before she was of dating age, so calling her out of her name, or even raising your voice will result in a solid left hook to the eye. You better talk to this boy and give him fair warning, maybe a demonstration, though your daughter may not be happy about it! So what?
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