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srs07navy · Feb 1, 2006, 06:01 PM

Hey You! Well I really like this guy and he asked my out a couple of days ago. I really do like him and would go out with him but for some reason I scared of getting hurt again.I think I still have feeling for my ex. In the past relationship my boyfriend cheated on me with this girl he goes to school with. He sayes he regrets doing it. Should I forgive him and give him another chance? I mean we were going out for almost 3 years.I have so many feelings for him and I love him with my heart but not sure if I can trust him again.What would you do?
Shelley

CaptainForest · Feb 1, 2006, 08:51 PM

That's a toughie.

Only you can know if your boyfriend really has changed. For the most part, the whole trust thing goes out the window when one cheats and you will never get back to where you once were since you know that he is capable of cheating on you.

From an arbitrary viewpoint, I say move on, go out with this new guy.

wizzkid89 · Feb 1, 2006, 09:51 PM

I always give this advice to somebody when they go through what your going through, I tell them to make a pro's and con's list of their ex and new guy. You can do one just for your ex too. What you need to determine is whether you want to risk being cheated on again. You did go out with him for a considerable amount of time, so If I were you I would at least listen to him, but you don't need to answer him right away. This is a big decision and you must think it over carefully. I would say you should try and talk it out with someone like a friend. I think in the end once you have viewed both of your selections carefully, you can make the best decision for YOU. Which is what this is all about. Good luck on your decision and keep us posted.

fredg · Feb 2, 2006, 06:54 AM

Hi,
Regardless of how you feel about your ex, you will probably always remember him, for a long time.
Three years is a long time to get to know someone, then "wham", he does something like this. When he said "I'm sorry", he could have really meant it, but only time will tell.
If you like this new guy, then go out with him. Life is full of fun, new experiences, and finding love is just one of them. Many have been married many years, only to end up "cheating" on the other.
I would give this new guy a chance, and who knows, he might be perfect for you. Eventually, you will find the person for you. I do wish you the best.

talaniman · Feb 2, 2006, 08:03 AM

Let some new light in your life.To get over the hurt of your previous relationship go out and have fun with new people.It will give you a better veiw of the past,and a better handle on the future!good luck and have fun,your to young to mope about the past!:cool:

DJ 'H' · Feb 2, 2006, 08:16 AM

From my experience, once a cheat & a liar, always a cheat & liar. I would try to get over your ex and move on. I was with my ex for two years and he did exactly the same thing.

I would give this new guy you like a go. Just hang out with him as friends, get to know him a bit better, let him earn your trust.

You will get through it, it took me nearly 2yrs to get over my ex and I met a lot of arseholes along the way. Just when I had given up on men and concentrated on myself, Pete walked into my life. He makes me so happy that I am thankful for what my ex did. Because if he had not have done what he did, I would not be with Pete now.

toddakins05 · Feb 6, 2006, 01:40 AM

Hi Shelley,
I am sorry to say this but "once a cheat, always a cheat". I know that you have strong feelings for this person. It is to be expected from a three year relationship. How ever it takes two to make it work, I don't know this but who put a gun to his head and made him cheat on you? The bright side of this is feelings are like habits It will take you 5 to 7 days to make or brake a habit. I am sure this other person regrets doing this. I am sure he will learn from his mistake, next time you just might not find out? Looking at the picture, you have allot going for you. Don't be fooled by ones mistake. He is foolish for doing what he did. You don't be foolish for doing what you might be thinking.
Your feelings are more of lust than truth. We all lust for what or whom will make us feel good, now we need to look at it and choose what might be the consequences for our decision that we made. Let him think of what he had with you. Let him reap his consequence for his foolish move. My feelings are that you caught the eye of another, you have no strings attached... Why are you still here? Go.. live for yourself.. "Every thing is done for a reason" you might not know why but it is to be. Good luck, move on, God bless.
Todd-yahoo

VLynn123 · Feb 18, 2006, 09:39 AM

Maybe you should take time to be by yourself. You are still trying to recover from your boyfriend cheating. Would you be able to continue dating him if you can't trust him? I don't think you should date either one. If you start dating this new guy, you don't want to be thinking of this old one that's still in the picture, it'll make things more difficult.