| that can be difficult. as a child, it may seem very hard for change. it wouldn't be as hard for 1-4 year olds because it wouldn't harm them as much and they would cope better because they're children and they don't understand alot of things.
it is harder for 7+ kids because they now understand alot more things and understand the world more. the worst time to have a relationship end is when the kid is around teenage stage. they normally have more mood swings and when they are affected by change, it is like hell to them.
i suggest that you sit down with him and talk to him and say "why are you not listening to me or your stepdad?" (make sure you make it sound very calming)
if he goes all angry and stuff you say it again and still remain calm and tell him to stay calm and that you were just wondering.
if he says these really bad things about the stepdad, don't go all angry because it will only get worse. you just say well you will get to like him over a period of time.
that is all that you can actually say because if you use any coporal punishment the kid will go wild.
when you say that you're sending him away, it shows that he really likes the dad and so you just let him do what ever he likes as long as he gets used to the step dad. that is the first priority.
the second priority is to get him to listen to you and the step dad.
the third priority is to show him that he needs to move on. divorce is a big situation and you need to try and convince him to act like nothing has ever happened. i mean the attitude i.e. not listening to you
you should do these steps bit by bit. don't rush them. and you should always use a calm and normal voice to explain everything to him.
GOOD LUCK! | 
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