Me and my ex

confuzzle · Sep 15, 2004, 05:38 AM

I really don't know what to do some one help please :( I split up with my boyfriend of 8months about a month ago :'(. I'm not over him at all. He said he wanted to stay friends which I didn't want at first because it would kill me seeing him wit someone else but I changed my mind because I still wanted to be able to talk to him and b his friend.he told me to ring him if I ever needed some one to talk to. So I've been having a lot of problems at home and its been really getting me down so I ring him but never can find myself to tell him what has been happerning. Every time I ring him I say to myself I'm going to tell him this time but never do. I found myself rining him everyday but I really didn't want to but couldn't stop.

I met up wit him last night for a drink for his burfday. And he said that I had to stop rining him all the time so I could get over him. Then everything was OK. But when I got home I found myself crying constantly because I know I should stop rining him but I like speaking to him.

I miss him so much what can I do to make the pain go away?

love confuzzled x??

confused2504 · Sep 21, 2004, 12:18 AM

Hey,

Breaking up is always the hardest thing... if your boyfriend is definitely not wanting to be in the relationship, then I'm telling you, you need to stop calling. When my fiancée and I broke up, it has now been three months.. I felt sick and wanted to be with him everyday.. I quickly put aside all the reasons we did break up and just wanted to be with him... thats a BIG NO. Go by the saying "Out of sight, out of mind" For your own sake, do not call him... yes no one said that it will be easy, he will be on your mind, you will cry everyday and yes you will go through a whole range of emotions and think that you will never ever feel better unless your with him. Sweetie, I feel for you because I know how much it hurts.. but believe me, it will get better. The best thing for at this time is to spend time with your family or friends. Occupy your time so you don't think about him all the time. Look if you two were meant to be togthether, then your paths will cross again, but you broke up for a reason... so let that sink in, and be happy with yourself before you rush back into anything. Do not talk to him, and just be by yourself and do your own thing for awhile. It does take time and you will have your good days and bad days. The fact that he has said you have to stop calling him so you can get over him, tells me that he is not thinking of reconciling and maybe he talks to you to help you through this hard time. That is not doing you any favours... stop all contact and trust me you will see in a few months the difference. It will also help to talk to your friends who can comfort you when your down... there is light at the end of the tunnel... and you will see it, I guarantee you.
Take care... : ) Be strong!

confuzzle · Sep 21, 2004, 01:56 AM

Hi thanks for your advice. I stopped ringing him. And guess what he started to ring me instead. I've been going out wit my mates and it has help a lot but its when I'm on my own I think about him. Have you got any advice for when I'm on my own?

confused2504 · Sep 21, 2004, 06:39 PM

When I'm on my own, it really hits me the hardest also. But see it as a good sign that he is not constantly on your mind even when your out. Its only natural you would think about him when your by yourself because no one is there to take your mind off him.

The only way I cope when I'm by myself is I cry for a bit and then I think about why me and my ex broke up and think about the fighting and basically all the bad things. It helps me get through the day when I think of the bad things and not only the good things which usually is the way people think when they break up with someone.
The best way to get on with your life is think of all the things that made you two break up... cos if things were great you wouldn't of broken up. Cos its still kind of fresh your break up, you will still think of him, its how you think of him that makes the difference. If you still think about all the laughs and fun times, then it will hurt you more because you will get upset. In time, you will get your life back on track and you may think of him once a week. That's how I cope... if you want to choose that way, then it will make it easier.. if not just be by yourself, cry until you can't cry no more and soon you will stop. You will eventually get strong. If this guy doesn't want the relatioship, then its his loss. You take your time to get over him, but he is not the only guy in the world. Don't be upset, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile!!

confuzzle · Sep 28, 2004, 03:31 AM

Hi thanks for your advice still hear from him and things are getting better my life is more like the saying (men are like busses you wait ages for one and loads come at once) a lad I've liked for ages is now wanting me and I've started to spend time wit a lad called karl the only prob wit that is he is lees mate that don't bother me because lee got us together but I'm not sure how I feel yet though he has feeling for me already I think I'm better off single for now I'm having too much fun but I still want to c karl is this a bad thing?

Xx confuzzle xx??

confused2504 · Sep 28, 2004, 06:57 PM

Hey,

I don't think seeing Karl is a bad thing. But I wouldn't rush into anything. I think you should let karl know that you are fresh out of a relationship and that you are quite happy being single. If you enjoy spending time with Karl, then get out and have a few laughs. You need it... when one door shuts a part of your life.. it opens another which is Karl. I don't think you should completley dismiss him, but for your own self, allow your time to heal before you jump into anything.

Like I said, have fun and go out, but be true to yourself and be honest to yourself and others. Sort out your feelings and give yourself some time.. You can never have too many friends! Karl will understand and should give you the space you need.