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    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #1

    Dec 28, 2007, 09:31 PM
    Restraining order
    How old do you have to be to file for a restraining order and do you have to have evidence as to why you need one?

    I broke up with my ex girlfriend back in July, for a while we kind of talked like friends, then she started dating some one who I though was a friend so I stop talking to her and that was a couple days after I dumped her, ever since then she has been bothering me, I have asked her nicely to get over me and leave me alone, but she doesn't. She texts me about once every week and for the stupidest reasons, and when she does text me, she tries to put me down because I haven't gotten with a girl sexual since her.

    What can I do?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:40 PM
    If you are under 18 you will need your parents to file on your behalf normally.
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #3

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:43 PM
    My mom is in afganistan but my grandma has power of attorny over me so would she be able to do it
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:46 PM
    Yes
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #5

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:49 PM
    Also if I do try to get one, I bet her parents will try and press charges on me for rape even though I didn't rape her and when they are trying to say I did it was 6 months ago, could they still press charges on me
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #6

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:53 PM
    The best thing to do is block/delete her texts before even reading them. Your sexual choices are no longer her concern. Who and when you date or hang out with friends is not her business. Ignore her.
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #7

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:56 PM
    You might find it easier to just ignore her, hang up on her, or don't read messages from her. If she's doing that kind of thing, it doesn't matter that you haven't had sex with anyone since her... you could think to yourself that she set an example for what you don't want from the next person so you are being more careful... you don't have to tell her that, but why let her comments bother you?

    Pretend she is like a neighbor that you can blow off if they are goofy or have strange ways... It is just the way they are, and has no meaning for your life other than you know they are there.

    She has no business knowing anything about your personal life, or sex partners, so don't tell her... if you have zero or one thousand.
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #8

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:03 PM
    Her comments don't bother me, they just get annoying when she is trying to get out of me whether I have had sex since her or not, they don't piss me off just annoy me, you guys are right she has no business knowing about my personal life and she doesn't know anything about my personal life since I broke up with her and she won't, and I have made a model out of her I don't want my next relationships to be controlled by sex as she has hers (I know I have no business knowing about her sex life but before when she texted me she liked to tell me about their sex life)
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #9

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:11 PM
    As far as if her parents press charges against you, I would think it would be your word against hers... and if you have by chance saved copies of those texts she sent you about her life... that shows that she has been with guys who are not you... don't ever send a message with anything in it that can be used against you later... but at any rate, it doesn't seem like much will result of any charges after this amount of time... as long as you close the door on her and have no communication.
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #10

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:15 PM
    I should have kept the messages, because when I broke up with her, her parents were treating to press charges on me, so I started talking to her about it and she said she was telling them not to then one night she freaks out and sends me treating messages like she is going to kill herself and also saying that she is going to kill me. Then when she started to date this new guy she sent me those messages about her love life and now I regret not saving any of them
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #11

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:22 PM
    Don't worry about it not saving, but don't recontact either... she doesn't need to know if you have them or not, and there is a possibility that the messages could be retrieved if they were ever needed in a legal situation by getting court orders or something for the company that delivers messages... those files are often kept much longer than you might think when you delete from your device... at least you know of her latest guy, and if you had to he could be questioned on the sexual relations issue... but I would really doubt if anything will be done if you haven't heard from the police by now...
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #12

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:22 PM
    Anything you do that has a legal outcome, restraining order, pressing charges, gets the government involved. Any threats to legally affect someone should only done when all else has failed. Making threats about pressing charges or suing someone is usually done in childish anger. Education is needed, not threats. Learn why people behave the way they do. Learn how the law works. Read, don't talk out of the side of your neck. You'll be glad you did!
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #13

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:25 PM
    Her mom is not every educated, she sits at home all day, doenst have a job, and her father is a red neck so their treats were made of anger and when I confronted her mom about possible charges on me I told her about the messages so that may have stopped her.
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #14

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:27 PM
    Be done with it then, and it sounds like you have no love lost over not having any future communication with them.

    When you mess around in the sewer, you will probably end up with crap coming your way.
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #15

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:30 PM
    I am trying to be done with her, she is the one texting me, and as you guys have adived me I will delet the message or ignor it.

    All I really want is for her to just get over me and leave me be
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #16

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:36 PM
    Best way will be when she tires of not getting any feedback from you on anything. That way she will not feel any reward of any kind, and her trying should diminish though it might take longer than you hope. She might even try harder for a time to get a reaction, but don't give in or it will only make her keep doing it and thinking that the harder she tries, she might eventually get the communication... walk away if you see her in public, or just be rude and don't talk if you have to... but you know the reasons... you don't have to explain it to her.
    13sldr's Avatar
    13sldr Posts: 237, Reputation: 17
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    #17

    Dec 28, 2007, 11:38 PM
    Seeing her in public won't be a problem, she lives in Kansas and I live in Arizona now but I will take your advice and just ignor the messages, thank you
    brown_eyes_3546's Avatar
    brown_eyes_3546 Posts: 103, Reputation: 5
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    #18

    Jan 1, 2008, 03:25 AM
    The answer to the rape thing is that in a case of statutory rape her parents have to prove that she did you do not have to prove you didn't. But if she will say it to youneed to leave it be and possibly block her from contacting your phone. Your cell provider should be able to block numbers from sending you messages or callling
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