My parents are divorcing. What is wrong with me?

Your parents are divorcing. What is wrong with THEM??? They should be the ones who are sad and crying and wanting to cut themselves. But they're adults and in control and can do whatever they want to do.

You are sad and crying and want to cut because it's the only thing you can control right now--how you feel and how you react to this disaster. You can't control your parents. You can't make them love each other and stay together. You can't fix their marriage. You feel helpless.

Years ago, I had a young client, his parents' only child. His parents told him they wanted to divorce. He didn't want that to happen, so instead of being sad and crying and cutting himself, he instead got sick. He was sick enough that he had to go to the hospital. His parents were scared and worried about him and would stand by his bed hugging each other and holding hands. The boy smiled inside. Being sick was good! His parents had stopped fighting and were acting married again!

The boy got better and came home. Before long, the parents were fighting again and were talking about divorce again. Guess what happened. Yup--the boy got sick again and ended up in the hospital. As long as he was sick, he was in control, and the parents didn't fight or talk about divorce.

Fighting and divorcing parents don't realize what effect they have on their children and how helpless and unloved they make the kids feel. Have your parents been to counseling? This would be a good time that your family goes to family counseling. It might not save the marriage, but it will help a lot to give everyone a voice as to the pain being suffered and find out what supports there are.

It would even help you learn that your parents love you tremendously, even though they apparently can't live with each other. And you need to know that you are loved.

Nothing wrong with you. Your parents have relationship issues, that is their problem.
You should just leave the room and not "get inbetween" them, that is not your job or duty.

Why are you in a shelter?

The feelings you have are normal for a child going through divorce. It's a scary time, and I'm sure you feel very helpless, unable to control your own destiny.

I don't know if there's money for counseling, seeing as you've been living in a shelter for the last 7 months, but you should be able to talk to a counselor at school, or a teacher you trust.

Do you have siblings, an Aunt or Uncle you trust?

Talking about this with someone will help you a great deal.

I wish you all the best.

Alty : I was in a shelter because my mom couldn'ttake the yelling but it was the third time when she didnt return. we still visit him but he always yells, its like he has a pull on my mom and I do not trust anyone, no one....