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verycurious · Jan 11, 2007, 10:57 AM

This goes out to all the ladies out there (and for guys who swing that way).
It seems to me, girls (at my school anyway) tend to go out with jerks or some ghetto gangster wannabe and end up heartbroken and I mean some real s with serious issues when there are plenty of fun, nice guys around (like me lol) who would treat them right. So here's the question: what and where's the appeal?

Actually this goes out to the guys as well who also date girls with issues (please don't say "it's cause she was hot")

tamed · Jan 11, 2007, 11:36 AM

I've always thought it's two things: first because they feel they can change them, mold them into who they like but when the guy refuses to change they realize what a jerk he was all along and end up with a broken heart. The second is that it may have been down to evolutionary traits whereby the 'ghetto gangster wannabe' appears strong and courageous, as one who can come to their rescue/defense when required. Again, when this turn out not to be the case, they become disappointed and thus leave.
As for the guys, it really is because she is hot or maybe because she is easy or both. Men are sometimes that simple!
Hope this answers your question

MISSIBAYBE · Jan 11, 2007, 11:46 AM

I couldn't have said it better myself! Don't feel discouraged, when you get older, you'll see that women fall for the sweet, romantic type. One who takes care of himself, and her as well. Not a gangster! You'll find the one!

jaimie02 · Jan 12, 2007, 06:58 PM

First off what grade are you in. Secondly, you say you're a nice guy? I know of only a few 'nice guys' at my school. I don't understand why the girls go out with people who treat them like crap. I personally like the nice guys. They are caring and sweet and usually have a good personality. Don't worry, I'm sure there is a girl at your school who likes you and you just don't know it yet.

Nosnosna · Jan 12, 2007, 07:21 PM

The answer is a little more convoluted.

A large part of the reason that girls don't go out with the self-described nice guys at that age is because the nice guys have an annoying tendency to put the girl on a pedestal and treat them too nicely... no well-adjusted girl wants to hear about how her boyfriend isn't good enough for her, and how lucky he is to have her and all of that all the time, and that's what they get from the 'nice guys.' They want to be treated like a normal person, not like something fragile.

Another big reason that girls go for the jerks is because jerks aren't timid. They see a girl they want to go out with, and they ask. Nice guys will putter around, building the girl up in their mind until they get overwhelmed, miss their chance, and then get bitter that the girl they never asked out is going out with somebody else. That's where creepy guys come from.

Just treat the girls like equals, and don't be afraid to ask them out, and you'll get just as many girls as the jerks do without being a jerk. Except that now the rest of the nice guy crowd will think you're a jerk because you're getting girls.

Synnen · Jan 12, 2007, 10:13 PM

Actually, what it really comes down to is confidence. Jerks are confident in themselves. Nice guys generally aren't. I'm married now, but when I was dating, I didn't want to be someone's (ick) "mommy".

It does change, you know. About the time girls hit 25, they know themselves better, and stop dating jerks and start dating nice guys.

I have actually heard this question from so many guy friends (usually after I turned them down for dating and they felt bitter). My return question is this: Why do guys only go for the girls with the nice bodies? Why not the really smart girl with the flat chest or the really sweet girl that's kind of chubby? Same principle... until your mid- to late- twenties, people are immature (for some people it doesn't stop then, either).

wizzkid89 · Jan 15, 2007, 02:23 PM

Synnen, you state that guys only go after hot females, well... I haven't seen a young sexy lady around 18-19 walking the mall with a fat guy or nerd. I haven't seen that, and I live in California, and you see everything out here. You are right however, though when people get older they start to realize they want different qualities in a mate, and initial attraction starts to get bumped down the list. And you are also right about the confidence factor, confidence does so much yet so many people don't know about it. Anybody in general responds to confidence, they feel an urge to follow people who exert it, and people have an urge to be around strong willed people. And because fat or unpopular people have a tendency to have small self-confidences they never can reach their full potential. All in all, the reason girls date jerks or guys date hot girls, is because it's primal. There is an attraction coming deep down inside us that has been fueling us for centuries, and although we have made progress, this sort of sexual selection will always be in our DNA and will influence our choices for the rest of time...