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my mother is taking over my life! she checks my email, tries to log into my aim, listens in on my phone calls, and reads everything I write! not to mention she looks for any inappropriate flaws in my wadrobe every day! she gives me the 5 times over then approves, if she finds one flaw she yells at me! I recently discovered something about myself of which I don't think I'll mention, (don't worry I'm NOT pregnant) and if she finds out she'll freak! how do I hide it? and how do I tell her she's going to far?! somebody help me!
You ask for help to hide it, yet you do not say what it is you need to hide (you only said that its NOT a pregnancy).
Make sure your email is something like Yahoo/Hotmail. Something that is a web based email. Make sure your computer is set up so it does not remember you password and prompts you each time for you to enter it. This will make it very hard for your mother to get into your Email and AIM.
Phone Calls. Try getting a cell phone or a private house line just to your room. Or, why even use phones? Use Skype and chat with your friends via mic over the net.
She tells you what to wear? That sucks. Put on a mother “appropriate” wardrobe when you leave for school and then change into what you wish to wear once you get out of the house.
Let me see, you left out pat search your friends that come visit, wire tap your phones and put a GPS homing device in your car. And motion detectors to tell if you try to sneak out at night. ( you should have talked to my boys growing up
Sounds like my teens talking about how I raised my kids.
and sounds like a loving mother who does not want you to make some stupid mistake.
I will assume you are in your teens, some parent are just over paranoid about their children, other are slightly over concerned and others do not care what their kids are doing as long as they are not bugging them. I on the other hand grew up doing every thing that I was not supposed to do, thus I try to keep a wary eye on my daughter. My daughter and I try to meet in the middle, on most things, yes. I lost the battle on the Queen of the undead look , but I won on the black lip stick for what it worth. My daughter and I communicate with one another. She will ask me what I am concerned about. We try to talk every thing out. I try real hard to see her side of it and she tries to see mine. Some of the times neither of us gets what the other is saying or wants and other times it works out real good. You need to know that you did not come with a hand book on how to raise you and every thing is a learning experience for you and your mother. I will not take sides because my daughter, almost 15 has proved me wrong more than once. Which is good because I learned something from it? It was trust. Meet your mother half way or almost half way. No matter how paranoid or strange she seems she loves you, once you get past these teen age years, you and you mother will be happy campers again.
Thats a rough situation. I understand the intent of your mother, as that is the hand my father tried to rule me with. However, it only led to me having to be more clever. She needs to understand that life is about experience and lessons. Rather than trying to hide you from those lessons, she needs to be open and discuss them with you honestly as they happen.
Unfortunately, she will likely NEVER hear this if it is coming out of your mouth.
Do you have any older siblings? Aunts? Uncles? Someone that will talk to her and possibly get thru to her?
We can sit here all day and trade war stories and teach you how to lie, cheat, and steal your way to a more private life but that is not being very helpful.
How are you when you discuss these things with your mother? If you come at her full of emotion, she is not going to be very attentative.
However, if you approach camly, as an adult, maybe you will have a chance to have a REAL heart-to-heart with her. Are you grandparents still living? How did they treat her as a teen? If you can, talk to them. Maybe they can help you to get thru to her.
She needs to understand that while she doesnt not want any harm to come to you, you need to find your own way. Its inevitable.. it will happen. The only factor is whether or not your mother will be there to help you through it or if you will have to hide your life from her.
Set a date with her to have dinner. You cook. Let her know that you want this time to discuss some things in your life but to do it as an adult. Let her know before hand that if the discussion gets out of control (emotions rise and tempers flare) that you will get up and leave immediately. However, you have to watch yourself, too. If you dont like what you hear, you cannot fly off the handle to her. You have to keep your cool.
"When emotions are high, intelligence is low... " Remember that. You have to speak to her without letting your emotions get involved.
Trust and respect of your privacy is something that has to be earned and it is hard to earn and very easy to lose. If you lie one time then people can never be never be sure if you are telling the truth or not. Prove to you mother that you are trust worthy. She is trying her best to make you into a responsible adult, with all the tool you will need to face the world.
Well..lets see does she trust you? cuz if she doesnt then u might wana gain her trust cuz i no shell slow down on the whole invading thing..i had the same problem in the summer
Well, there is something that you found out about yourself but if you do not share that with us, how can we really help you? There must be reasons why your mother has questions and what to check up on you. Have you given her any reasons for this?
LadyofDarkness, I know how you feel, most of us have been through that when we were teenagers. As long as your underage and you live in your parents house you have to go by their rules. However, I think your mother is being too strict with you. Your mother shouldn't be listening to your phone calls or read your personal blog. However, I don't think getting a private line or changing your e-mail account is a good idea, if she finds out you could be grounded for life. What you should do is approach your mother, your motive is to talk, be heard, then listen. Assure her that you don't want to argue, let her know that your a responsible young adult and you would like some privacy. Consider talking over some guidelines with her, perhaps she will give you some slack.
She admits that she has done something but will not share it. So it is something that is obvously serious and her mother has every right to be worried and have every right to check into things. If she is not going to be open about the things she is getting into then her mother has no choice to do what she is doing.
other are slightly over concerned
and others do not care what their kids are doing as long as they are not bugging them.
I on the other hand grew up doing every thing that I was not supposed to do, thus I try to keep a wary eye on my daughter. My daughter and I try to meet in the middle, on most things, yes. I lost the battle on the Queen of the undead look
for what it worth. My daughter and I communicate with one another. She will ask me what I am concerned about. We try to talk every thing out. I try real hard to see her side of it and she tries to see mine. Some of the times neither of us gets what the other is saying or wants and other times it works out real good. You need to know that you did not come with a hand book 
on how to raise you and every thing is a learning experience for you and your mother. I will not take sides because my daughter, almost 15 has proved me wrong more than once. Which is good because I learned something from it? It was trust. Meet your mother half way or almost half way. No matter how paranoid or strange she seems she loves you, once you get past these teen age years, you and you mother will be happy campers again. 
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