Mixed emotions

dani04 · #1 Mar 13, 2008, 04:05 PM

My bf broke up with me like almost a month ago and I asked so many questions about moving on and all and I am pretty sure I did it. Even though he came to me about a week ago and said some day we are gonna try again. He doesnt know when yet. I don't want to be mean and like move on from him but I don't want to wait forever and who knows I could be waiting and he could have another girl all ready.
theres this guy at my school and he is really nice and he makes me laugh and like talks to me all the time. most of my friends say he likes me but I dont want to get all my hopes up on him likeing me. I am having all these thoughts... do I move on.... should I like this other guy then theres somethign else telling me no I am being selfesh and just rude.
I kind of want this guy to notice me more, but I dont know how. I dont know who to go with or anything...

life1973happened · Mar 13, 2008, 04:20 PM

Good evening Dani04...
I am so sorry to hear about your break-up. I know that's tough and as you get older it does not get any easier. How you deal with it does, there is your little ray of hope. I can hear it in your words how difficult this situation is for you. However I really believe every single person we meet, and have the pleasure of getting to know, helps to form who we are to become.

That means the good ones and the bad ones. Now it's up to you to take the good from the former boyfriend, thank him and move on. People come into our lives to help teach us something. Sometimes through the pain we cannot see it at first but it's there. Take the good and the lessons learned and walk away.

You absolutely should get to know this other boy, why not? Don't let what the former boyfriend did to you, hold you back out of fear. Dani04 you are a wonderful person with a bright future. Don't be held back or down by boys like the former boyfriend. Hold your head up high, shoulders back and smile.

You may be slightly battered and bruised. Now it's time to pick yourself up check all of your limbs and make sure nothing is broken. Then move on secure in who you are and what you have to offer to the right person.

And let me tell you something, you indeed...have a lot to offer. That former boyfriend has no real clue of what he brushed off and walked away from.

He will in time only wish he had another chance but do not wait around for anything he might one day have to offer, no way!!

Your time is now, take control of your life and your happiness and dani04 is looks good indeed!

JBeaucaire · Mar 13, 2008, 06:29 PM

Dating should be informative, you should learn things about yourself and men and dealing with relationships. So, what you're going through should be viewed as "normal", OK?

Unless you exert some control, your feelings will ruin your life. Feelings for an EX are unavoidable, you must quietly tolerate them while you move on with your life. When your next phase fully starts with your next attempted relationship, your feelings for your EX will fade back into an appropriately fond memory. For now, they are simply crippling unless you ignore them.

As for the second guy, go for it. But relax. I'd be looking for SEVERAL guys to date and get out there and have some FUN. You don't have to have a single, committed guy to be happy, and if you feel you MUST, then there's something you can work on.

Guys are much happier with women they date and eventually marry that are confident and self-sufficient. Clingy, desparate and needy are very unappealing. Don't you think?

Each relationship should teach you more and more, so don't be so quick to latch on, enjoy your freedom for awhile.

dani04 · Mar 13, 2008, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Dating should be informative, you should learn things about yourself and men and dealing with relationships. So, what you're going through should be viewed as "normal", OK?

Unless you exert some control, your feelings will ruin your life. Feelings for an EX are unavoidable, you must quietly tolerate them while you move on with your life. When your next phase fully starts with your next attempted relationship, your feelings for your EX will fade back into an appropriately fond memory. For now, they are simply crippling unless you ignore them.

As for the second guy, go for it. But relax. I'd be looking for SEVERAL guys to date and get out there and have some FUN. You don't have to have a single, committed guy to be happy, and if you feel you MUST, then there's something you can work on.

Guys are much happier with women they date and eventually marry that are confident and self-sufficient. Clingy, desparate and needy are very unappealing. Don't you think?

Each relationship should teach you more and more, so don't be so quick to latch on, enjoy your freedom for awhile.

so like try to be single for a while and enjoy it well it last

is there anyway to try to impress this new guy and my ex besides being self sufient and confendient?

JBeaucaire · Mar 13, 2008, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dani04

is there anyway to try to impress this new guy and my ex besides being self sufient and confendient?

No. Stop pretending. When you date...this guy or ANY guy...it's not necessary to impress them.

This isn't a game. There is no "formula" for you to discover that makes magic with guys you date. There is just you being you, them being them (after about 6 months, that is...hehe, guys take a while to get real), and you two discovering if your compatible for REAL. No tricks.



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