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dramatic-freak · Jan 11, 2006, 01:24 PM

Mmm... well am 14 years old... and am in love... but there's this big problem:( mmm... so let me tell you about it... my best friend maria is dating this guy andrew mmm... well she loved him at first but now she doesn't now because she suddenly figured out that she's still in love with her ex mark... so... now she wants to talk to mark about the way she feels and earlier he told her that he still loves her... so now she thinks its not going to work out between her and andrew and she has to get back to mark because she truly loves him... and andrew is such a close friend of mine... and I totally care about his feelings... I care about maria's feelings too but she acting so *****y and doesn't want to leave andrew until she talks with mark... so... mmmm... I happen to tell andrew about this I had no other choice I felt so sorry for him and it happens to me he doesn't love maria so we sat and he tried kissing me I refused he tried again and I happen to let him(it was a wonderful kiss:rolleyes: )so... now were in love and he broke up with maria but I can't date him but were madly in love what shall I do?? HELP!! :confused:

DrJ · Jan 11, 2006, 01:57 PM

Hmmm... well, you're 14. Odds are you won't always be in love with Andrew. Obviously, as you have shown through your story, you may be in love with him today but tomorrow you may find that you love another. That's just how it goes at that age. Im not a lot older so don't just write this off that way. The point is that you are more likely to keep a friendship with someone like Maria a lot longer than a relationship with someone like Andrew.

So my advice is to NOT let this get in the way of your friendship. However, if you do feel strongly for Andrew, talk to Maria about it. Explain your feelings. She obviously doesn't love him anymore so she should let it go. If she is a true friend, she will listen to your request, respect the fact that you came to her first, and help you work it out.

I come from a fairly small town and if we never dated someone that a friend had dated, there would be no one left to date. So you have to work around it. If she is happy with this new guy, Mark, there should be no hard feelings over Andrew.

wizzkid89 · Jan 11, 2006, 05:50 PM

My advice to you is that you should sit down with Maria and talk about it out with her. Explain your situation first, and tell her that you are friends but you just couldn't help what you felt. Explain to her that you would never purposely hurt her, but when she didn't like andrew anymore you thought it was right to tell him and express your feelings. If can't take what you are saying to her than she wasn't your friend, you can apoligize if you like but there isn't really anything to be sorry for. Just remember to not make an excuse about the situation if she confronts you, just be honest and hopefully she will take it like a mature fourteen year-old(oxymoron), and everything should work out for you, as long as your honest. Good luck in the future.

dramatic-freak · Jan 16, 2006, 06:20 AM

Will it be the biggest mistake of my life if I dated my bestfriend's ex and planned on keeping it deadly serious between us?

fredg · Jan 16, 2006, 07:42 AM

Hi, dramatic_freak,
If you want to date your best friend's ex, then do it. It's your decision.
Your best friend might not even mind, or if they do, will let you know.
We all have decisions to make everyday, and sometimes, don't know if we have made the right one until later.
Learning is all part of life, and if your best friend is really a "friend", they won't mind. If not, there are new people to meet everyday, and make new friends.
I do wish you the best of luck, and hang in there.

nymphetamine · Jan 16, 2006, 09:08 AM

My opinion ( and this is just my opinion) is that you should go for it. He is her ex. People like to play that don't date the friends ex. Well that's selfish. People are not other peoples property. So if she does get mad just remind her that she doesn't own him.

DJ 'H' · Jan 16, 2006, 09:58 AM

Go for it. At 14yrs old, the 'don't date your best friends Ex' really does not apply so much.

Considering your friend wants her ex (mark) back and has lost interest in Andrew, I doubt she would see it as an issue, more so a blessing. She is probably really worried about telling him, so if you want to be with him and he likes you too, then it will work out great. The 4 of you will be able to hang out together etc.

Stop worrying and go for it!!

dramatic-freak · Jan 16, 2006, 10:08 AM

Thank You DJ 'H'... you really got what I really meant I'll go for it... but don't you think I will lose my best friend for a guy or something like that but were totally madly in love...

DJ 'H' · Jan 16, 2006, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by dramatic-freak

Thank You DJ 'H' ...you really got what i really meant i'll go for it ... but don't you think i will lose my bestfriend for a guy or something like that but were totally madly inlove...

Why would she want to be mad at you?

Your best friend has said pretty much she is getting back with Mark and does not want Andrew, so if you and Andrew want to be together, there is no problem. If she does get funny about it, then she cannot be a very good friend.

If you were both older and Andrew had cheated on her, or done something worse then there would be a problem, but you are 14yrs old. She simply does not want him as a boyfriend but wants Mark, you want Andrew as a boyfriend, there is no bad feeling between any of you - so there is no reason to lose her friendship - she'll understand. Just talk to her, I bet she will be made up for you :)

DrJ · Jan 16, 2006, 06:12 PM

I agree with DJ'H but I still advise talking to your friend about it first. What will that hurt? That can only help the situation.

True, she is 14. The rule doesn't (shouldnt) apply so much. However, with it being so close to the end, the respectable thing to do is to simply talk to your friend about it first. She will have more respect for you by doing so. Im not saying that you should ask for permission, just talk to her and see how she would feel. I doubt she would mind but it would better that she found out from you that through the grapevine.

DJ 'H' · Jan 17, 2006, 02:45 AM

Originally Posted by DrJizzle

I agree with DJ'H but I sitll advise talking to your friend about it first. What will that hurt? That can only help the situation.

True, she is 14. The rule doesnt (shouldnt) apply so much. However, with it being so close to the end, the respectable thing to do is to simply talk to your friend about it first. She will have more respect for you by doing so. Im not saying that you should ask for permission, just talk to her and see how she would feel. I doubt she would mind but it would better that she found out from you that thru the grapevine.

Oh I agree she needs to talk to her friend first, but I can't see her friend being angry, more so releaved and happy for them :)