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i like this guy a lot and ever once in a while ill get a hug from him and stuff but im over weight and i know that but i really want to ask him out but he seems so perfect and im so not lol what do u think i should do
What makes him so perfect? He is not any better than you are. No one is any better than you are.
I completely understand what you feel when you say you are overweight. The low self esteem, the insecurity, the uncertainty that anyone will ever like you for just you, the possibility of finding a guy who will honestly date you just for yourself.
So I am going to say to you what it took me years to find out. If you do not like yourself, if you do not see your own value, if you look at yourself and cannot see what is positive and good about yourself - how are you going to present yourself to other people? Much in the same way, I am afraid.
The first goal you should have is to work on yourself. Concentrate on your own improvement. Weight loss? That is a healthy goal and achievable. Your doctor can help you with deciding on a diet plan. There are sensible programs out there like Weight Watchers and TOPS. Losing weight involves making healthy choices about foods, increasing exercise, finding alternative activities that do not involve food. It is doable.
Many people who lose weight find their self esteem improves as their physical image changes. Makes sense. You look better, you feel better, and your attitude reflects that in increased self confidence.
Go beyond the weight loss and hopefully you can find somone to talk to that will help you understand your eating habits. Sometimes stress leads us to the foods we really should be avoiding. Sometimes the food we should not be eating so much of, is a comfort food to us. Not saying that it is bad, and can never be eaten again, but you have to learn all things in moderation and balance and portion control.
You need to realize that you are wonderfully and beautifully created. Everyone can use a little tweaking here and there. When we see models and movie stars, we are seeing the made up person. Not the real person. We are seeing a projected image, not the real deal.
There is a book you can get, possibly through your library, called, "Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior" by M. Goulston & P. Goldberg. The book explains how we often sabotage ourselves with our behavior and thinking. The book gives some pointers on how to conquer those behaviors and thoughts.
If this guy likes you, he will like you now, just as you are. He will also like you tomorrow and the day after. He would be encouraging to you, respectful, and looking out for your best.
wow i really never though about it like that before thanks i see ur point so u have felt this way before i think everyone in their life feels that way eventually i think and i will look into that book
other than losing a few pounds, you should really really get to know him, bond over stuff you both like. If you guys truly bond, he will look beyond your physical appearance and only see your personality. Trust me.
and besides just because your large shouldnt mean anything, its the shallow guys who like big chested bimbos who have a great body.
look at America fererra, Queen latifah, all beautiful ladies, and all big.
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