I'm in love with 21 year old but I'm 13. is this really bad?

Alright Cat. I may have worded my statement incorrectly. It did not start out sexual, and friendship/whatever is not sexual. And this isn't a case of grooming. I would certainly recognize that. Yes I agree it has probably moved a bit too fast. But its staying at a friend/simple level now. I am sure he is 21 for several reasons. I have talked to him on skype/other stuff. His voice is in no way an old dude. Second, I know others who know him. I'm not being convinced to keep talking to him either. Its not like hey were in love and no matter what, we will always be together. That's creepy ****. Its just like well I'm happy we got to talk. Its just fun and open not even really like a relationship. Its something new to explore, I do not think its dangerous.

Wonder none of that is happening. I'm not some stupid young girl that gives out her number to people on the web. There is no exchanging numbers between us, and the only maybe possible meeting time is when I am 18. That's it. Shouldn't someone ditch if they can't get anything? I mean I have nothing to offer, other than me just talking. Wouldn't a pedophile get bored? And a person who didn't care wouldn't waste tha much time.

"But I won't give him my phone number or any personal information."

Its much too early for that is one reason. Second, that's not safe no matter what. I won't be telling guys or any ,one in the internet where I live or my phone number. I'm still cautious.

Ashley, paedophile's can spend years grooming their victims. Some paedophiles are extremely patient when they want someone. They also start out very slow and gain your trust. They don't grab you off the street on your way to school. They get you to think that everything you do is your idea when they are the ones who plant the seed. That is what 'grooming' is all about.

Two months ago would you have thought about hiding a relationship from your parents?

A week ago would you have considered disobeying your mother and continuing to contact him after she told you to stop talking to him?

What might you do next week that you didn't think you would do this week?

Do the people who also know him know about your relationship with him?

Do you know that some people can sound younger than they are? How do think a 25 year old can play a teenager on tv or in movies?

How did you meet him?

Yes this is bad, as you made a stranger on the Internet who is 8 years older, your friend, after talking for a month. A month? Even adults can't know someone, there character, and even if they are who they say they are in a month. Yet you have already convinced yourself you are in love.

Just because you get friendly attention, and like it, doesn't make it love, but at least your mom knows what's going on, and I hope she watches you through these growing pains.

Don't let this older stranger hurt you, or fool you, because as extremely mature as you think you are, you are INEXPERIENCED in the ways of the world, and the people in it.

Smiling faces sometimes tell lies.

Do you even have a web cam? You are flying blind, with only your curiosity guiding you, so don't get carried away. This is so unhealthy, and unwise.

Ok well yeah. I get it. It just doesn't make sense for someone to waste so much time. I'm not some model. Just the average person. Well Cat I probably don't have good answers to some of those questions. And I'm a teenager I don't tell my parents everything. I like a dude 7 years older than me. I'm sure my parents would totally find that cool. Maybe I am being lied to. But isn't it possible maybe it isn't a lie? In real life I get along with people much older than me anyways, and I learned how to keep up with adults. Its true, I do not have experience with sickos out in the world. This is all new for me. But once the person starts asking for things if he does, there will be no more. I'm not in for some hard core committed relationship. I probably spoke too soon on the love thing. Maybe he shouldn't be a close friend of mine. But I don't want to just abandon the whole thing. It didn't start out this way at all. It was just random. We started talking and.it was just a friendship. I just don't think its super dangerous. I didn't tell my mom because she doesn't handle things like a rational person always....

If it's too early for you to give him your information then it is too early to tell whether you are in love or not.

Also, you cannot tell by a person's voice how old they are. Just because one sounds younger, does not make them younger. I know someone who sounds like they have the voice of a child younger than yourself and they are actually older than I am (I am 23).

Another thing... You do not need to give someone your number or location in order for them to find you. Already he has probably gained enough information that he could find you through some careful research. One, just by connecting to him via Skype he can locate you to your nearest "major" city. If I trace my own IP address I am actually located to my very own city.

From there, he can take bits of information, such as anything you have mentioned about school. All he needs to do is to find the school you might have spoken about that is nearest to the city he can trace your IP address to, and then hang around for a while until he sees you.

My point is that it does not take much to find you. If one knows what they are doing, they can very easily locate someone with just a little bit of information.

Please be careful. I would like to strongly urge you to stop talking to this person and talk to your parents about this. You should be concerned. Just based on what you have said in this very post, combined with the fact that you probably use the same username on many websites, one can get a pretty good collection of information.

For example, just based ONLY on my username, by using Google, I can locate my phone number and complete address.

No.I actually use a lot of different usernames. Yeah I'm reading these and feeling a bit stupid. I think I just like the person a lot. And if they can find me well then I'm screwed. But I don't want to stop talking. Like I understand what could happen to me. And I am still young. But I don't really get the motive. What rape? It would suck if they wanted to kill me. But I honestly don't think that's the case. I would recognize warning signs of a pedophile. Why not go about being friends, see how long it goes.on, if it continues until I'm 18, then just do whatever from there. I'm not like setting up meetings. The person does not know the area or section of where I live. They do not know where I go to school. They do not know family names. Is it still extremely unsafe?

So you think you are the only young girl he talks to? I very much doubt it. You just never know though do you?

If you have ever connected to them directly over the internet, they have your IP address. This can be usually traced to your city and Internet service provider. That will narrow down the search area significantly.

From there, it's just a question of what details have been shared. If you haven't even talked about school, sports, family, etc... What have you talked about?

I'm truly concerned for your safety. You continuously mention that you would recognize signs of pedophilia, and yet you admittedly have no experience with "sickos". The sheer fact that a 21 year old has shown such an interest in you is a MAJOR sign of pedophilia.