Im 18.Should i wait & try my luck on having a child?

Muziqschild1 · #1 May 8, 2008, 04:32 PM

Hello all....I hope im doing this right ANYWAY...Heres the story...

Im 18 and I've been with my bf for four years now

.....I recently found out that there are some problems with me eggs And the chances of me having a baby are slim...And they will get even slimmer as i age...We were thinking that we should just have a baby baby now being that we've been together so long & we dont plan on breaking up...We both have jobs & are attending the same school..We really want a family together & wouldnt want to wait yrs just to find out that im definatly not capable..BUT i still dont know what to do....What do you think?

JBeaucaire · May 9, 2008, 02:09 AM

I think the egg thing feels like a real issue, but it's not. If you two are ready to make a baby, then get married, swear fealty before God and man and your future children for all time, and make the physical environment match the dream.

Having a baby is PART of a family plan, it's not THE plan.

The kid you desire deserves it all, doesn't he? Also, the egg is not the only way to have your own child. There's a lot of science on your side in the future when you've fully prepared the way. There's adoption, there's surrogacy...a lot to consider.

tai18 · May 12, 2008, 04:02 PM

well your 18 but i would at least wait until 20 or when im finished college and in a permanet job..you and your bf should be using this year to save up on all the money your going to need to take care of your child if you guys are serious about having a family why not get married? if he can have a child with you why not just get married and have family? talk to him about marriage and a apartment for you guys that you can afford monthly if you can afford a apartment monthly then theres NO WAY you guys can afford a child . . but thats my oppinion i think you guys should think it through make sure your in the right financial state expecialy since you cant work after you have the child for a while . .getting up every hour in the night, the crying/screaming. just look at the pros and cons

Altenweg · May 12, 2008, 04:13 PM

The fact that you are asking for someone elses opinion speaks volumes.

You obviously don't think you're ready to have a child, that's very obvious from the way you worded your post. If you have even one tiny little doubt then I'd say wait, you aren't ready.

Obviously this is your choice, it's your body, but 18 is very young to be responsible for a child, not just financially and physically, but emotionally as well. I have two children, I was 28 years old when my first was born, it's hard work. Even if you're married, both with jobs and making good money, a house etc. etc. it's still hard.

Think it over, make a list of pros and cons before you make a final decision. Maybe talk to your parents about it too, see what they think.

Good Luck.

JBeaucaire · May 13, 2008, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Muziqschild1 agrees: Im kinda half & half on your answer..I dnt really have doubts...I want this more then anything in the world BUT just because you want somethung that doesnt make it the right thing to do. BUt thnks your answer also help..

Holy cow! How old are you? Do you have any idea how insightful that is? There are FIFTY year olds out there that STILL haven't figured out that their wants should not dictate all their choices in life.

Wow, I'm really stunned here. Thanks for posting that. You saying that one thing encourages ME. I know you're the one with the conflicted heart right now, but THANK YOU for lifting my day.

If you're able to sincerely experience that thought, then I really expect great things from your life...your WHOLE life.

Thanks again.

l341972 · May 13, 2008, 08:46 AM

dont do it.you should wait.

dreaming08 · May 13, 2008, 12:03 PM

I am currently 18, and though I don't have children of my own, they are TONS of work. My friend that is 17 has a baby and she has alot to deal with. The thought, believe me, is amazing. But actually raising one, is way harder than you might realize. I wouldn't necessarily have a child right now, especially how the ecomony and the world is. You say you both want the baby, but it might change, and you have to think about the future. You will have to take care of that child for 18 years+. Its a very big responibility. JUST think before you have one.

o NitSuA o · May 13, 2008, 05:02 PM

i would advise against it for two reasons. 1) at 18 while you guys might have stable jobs, it might not be enough to take care of a child. and 2) because there are a lot of advancements in the field of science that can allow you to have a child with your own eggs and his own semen.

a 4 year relationship may a while but please remember you are not even 20 yet and you still have a wonderful life ahead of you.

sallyasdf · May 13, 2008, 05:10 PM

You should really wait and be married to have a child. Pregancy is not the only option, there is adoption and you could have a sergant.