| my mom never hit me but she did make me swim naked with her in her bosses pool one day after i get out of school. i think i was 13. i didn't look it though.
i can't blame you fro cutting. i rather enjoyed it. i hated everything leading up to it and the shower the next day but other than that, i didn't mind. i don't think you're doing it to get attention.
Honey what I can suggest to you that has REALLY helped me are these 2 books i have. both were recommended to my by my psychologist. Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail.
I found by mom is a toxic and does emotionally blackmail me. hell, she does it to this day. I can handle her better now than i could before.
I remember my brother standing in the kitchen one day and mom ORDERED him to do the dishes. he simply told her i would like it if you would ask me and not give a direct order, please. i am a person too.
Who the hell do you think you're talking to? I'm not you're pal, I'm not you're F****ing friend! I am YOUR MOTHER!
yes, but you're a person too.
I totally kid you not, she slapped him right across the face. then she said I'M YOUR MOTHER
and a person. he says. Got slapped again.
This went on for about 1 maybe 2 min. that's a long time for back and forth.
She hit him one last time and said now what?
He looked at her and said.... i hope you feel better.
and walked into his room.
My bro is 6'5' 5 years older than me and a hell of a lot stronger. Why she did that I still don't know.
I think my mom was too afraid of me killing her if she EVER hit me to do so.
You MUST save yourself and get as much info and help you can. if you have to as a LAST resort tell your school counselor. BY LAW : they MUST report any allegations of abuse. Before that is done you need to have your ducks in a row. Keep a journal, get a small tape recorder with a bunch of tapes, get a disposable camera and
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
Think of it this way. Do you want her to stop? Do you want to feel better about yourself and your life? Do you want to die?
If you answered yes, yes, no. Then YOU must get ready for combat. FIGHT! For if you don't, you will most likely end up being the biggest doormat ever.
People always said I was nice. I HATE that. I tell people I'm not nice and they don't believe me. then when i'm not nice they say god you're such a b*tch. I just tell them "I TOLD YOU. But you didn't wanna listen."
I am not nice. My life has shaped me that way. I will say I AM KIND. There is a HUGE difference. I would rather people say I was kind over being nice.
But I digress. If you wish to make your mom pay, suffer, stop, whatever your goal may be you need to go to the battlefield prepared. You don't want to go out there with a rubber chicken and a party balloon. You need ammo.
If you really want this to change, you need to be strong(which you already are), be your own spy, and tell and trust NO ONE!! Well, for this purpose anyway. Don't tell your friends or anyone else. you are young and have some time to get some good dirt. I think if you prove you would be better off with another relative you MAY be able to do that by..say 15 maybe..16. You should try your best to suffer through this to get what you want.
I and my hubby have found it is those with the greatest intelligence that suffer the most.
We are a rare breed and our lives are hard, but we are the strongest and WE will survive.
Ignorance is bliss.
But I would rather know.
Let me know how things go and what you plan to do. | 
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