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    mimixmisses's Avatar
    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 22, 2010, 11:21 PM
    How do I know if my mom is abusing me
    Hi.. Uhmm, is it right for my mother to treat me differently than my 3 other siblings? She calls me a , slut, stupid, fat , every name in the book. I am forced to get good grades, be active, volunteer for in and out school activities. She onced told me to 'get out of her house' when I was 7. She threw a cup at my face and everything.
    Recently, things have gotten worse. I lost all my old friends because of her. Now that I have got new ones. She can't wait to keep me from them. Mainly, because I'm going out with my friends cousin. She thinks I'm doing things behind her back. The only thing I lied about was saying I wasn't going to go see him. When I was.
    I was told not to use her 'hair supplies' so I don't. And today she told me to stay home from school. I got yelled at for 'touching her hair products'. When I didn't. And called a stupid for letting the door slam a bit when I shut it.
    I don't hate my mum. I just want to know if this is bad? It hurts so much to go through this. We do get along, but then she just snaps.
    Is there any way you can help me?
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    May 22, 2010, 11:32 PM
    Hi, mimixmisses!

    Are you the oldest child? Some of what she done to and towards you does sound like abuse.

    Also, have you told your counselor or a teacher at school about what is happening and has happened, please?

    Thanks!
    mimixmisses's Avatar
    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 22, 2010, 11:35 PM

    I am the second oldest.
    And yes, I agreed to talk to a female counciler. She also agreed to help me. But I haven't head from her in weeks. Like I don't even exsist.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #4

    May 22, 2010, 11:43 PM
    Is the counselor at your school?
    mimixmisses's Avatar
    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 22, 2010, 11:45 PM

    She works for the Junior High.. I am in the High School.
    But yes, she attends regularly
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #6

    May 22, 2010, 11:59 PM
    What about a counselor at the high school?

    Also, where is your dad, please?
    mimixmisses's Avatar
    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 23, 2010, 12:28 AM

    She said she will help me and hasn't bothered in contscting me what so ever..
    My dad never really cared about me before. Mainly because I don't look like my siblings and\or his side of the family.
    Anyway, he says he sees everything and also says that's how she is. And to deal with it.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #8

    May 23, 2010, 08:41 PM
    Maybe you ought to write a note to the couselor to make sure that she really knows what's going on? Perhaps she's slow in getting to you because she hasn't been informed about everything?
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #9

    May 23, 2010, 08:49 PM

    Not to make excuses for the counselor, but I imagine if she's at the junior high and also helping at the high school that she must have her plate full. I like clough's suggestion. You may not be a priority yet because she may not understand the whole situation enough. Mother/daughter spats are pretty normal with most mothers and daughters. But this sounds like more than just spats, and some of it does sound abusive. The counselor may not realize that yet though.
    mimixmisses's Avatar
    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    May 24, 2010, 03:20 PM

    She said she can get me emancipated but needs 2 days to get information on that, its been 3 weeks. My mum also says I bring these things upon myself. On Sunday we got in an argument, I said I wanted to leave this crazy house. She said my friends are the ones who are 'brainwashing me'. And would threaten to call the cops and have me and my friends arrested. I used to tell her everything and now I can't because its like court everything is used against me. She would say she doesn't want me to make the same mistakes she did. Like have kids at a young age, she was 23 when she had me! She once told me she wishes I was never born. And many horrible things. When she is contronted about things like this, it is all changed around making it seem like I am the bad person here.
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    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    May 24, 2010, 10:09 PM

    Ughhh, I really want to cry right now! My mum is telling the whole world what happen.. When I tell a family member how I feel I get in trouble by her. Isn't that a hippocrate?? My friend showed up after school and when my older sister snitched I had to choose whether if I wanted her to take my 'freedom hours' [2 hours for 2 days a week] or my phone. So I chose to keep my phone.
    Everybody know nobody's body is perfect, my whole family is a little chubby. My new friends are the same way and my mum criticizes them about their looks! Come on, can my mum be anymore f**ked up?
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #12

    May 24, 2010, 10:22 PM
    Hi again, mimixmisses!

    Please don't use even implied profanity on this site!

    You're an emotional wreck right now.

    Does your mother drink and/or use drugs?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #13

    May 24, 2010, 10:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mimixmisses View Post
    My mum is telling the whole world what happen..
    Let me remind you that you are telling the whole world as well.

    Now, is it possible that your mother is depressed?
    mimixmisses's Avatar
    mimixmisses Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    May 25, 2010, 09:22 PM

    My mum does drink and sometimes smokes...
    She says she is depressed but when I want her to talk about it she just blows me off... I try to be the bigger person but instead I'm just being crushed smaller and smaller..
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #15

    May 25, 2010, 09:27 PM
    What are some really positive things that you can think of about your mother, please?

    Perhaps good things that she does? Maybe positive things that she does for you and the rest of your family?
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #16

    May 25, 2010, 10:46 PM

    Is the school counselor you mentioned before the only counselor you have access to? My high school had a few counselors. Does your school have any others? Or is there at least a teacher you trust and are comfortable with?

    I find it interesting that she told you she could have you emancipated. Emancipation isn't exactly a simple process. There's actually quite a bit to it and it would ultimately be up to a judge, not your counselor.

    If you want to get out of there, or at least bring in someone who can help, you have to ask for help. If the counselor isn't helping, find someone else who can help. Talk to another counselor. Talk to a teacher. Even a priest or pastor if you go to church or something.

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