i know people ask about this alot and stuff but my mum dided four years ago and my dad already has a fiancee and stuffs quite hard. plus i went from having a massive group of freinds to haveing noe in a year between primary and secondary school. i only have one real freind now. so i have low self esteem and i need to pluck up some courage to talk to girls and get some friends if i dont the next five years will be HELL please help me

josh lonely, thirteen years old

YeloDasy

I am sorry you are going through a tough time in your life. FOr one, I would suggest seeking counseling at your school.... I know it can help a lot with your self esteem.

But otherwise, I would suggest getting involved in some sports or clubs that interest you. Or ask someone to do homework with you after school.... then that can lead into a friendship. Do you think these things can help you?

Illusion

It sounds like you have been grieving for the loss of your beloved mum. When someone we love dies, we feel emotional pain that they are gone and we miss them. We go thru what are called stages - feeling numb, feeling loss, feeling anger, feeling sadness - and then acceptance. It is important that you talk with someone that you can trust about how much you miss your mum. You need someone - friend, counselor, therapist - that you can talk with about your feelings so that you can move on and have a happy life. Recognize your love for your mum and how special she was in your life. Know she will forever live on in your heart. As you heal and move on to accept your loss, you will feel better. Say, "I now release the past and all pain. I am safe. I find love and friendship wherever I go. I make friends easily. I like people and people like me. I affirm happiness, goodness, and success in all that I do. I am guided to a perfect outcome in all that I do. All is well." I made this affirmation up for you and I hope you will use it every day. Know that the very universe we live in, will always love and support you. Ask and it shall be given. Check out the science of mind on line for prayers, books and cds. Bless you.

cassy1990

hey im cassy and 16 and in high school. i now that things are hard for you now but having a girl friend is not something that happens over night. when you look for a girlfriend, half the time it dosent even work out. you should leave it to time and not think about it as much because i can assure you that after a while it will be the least of your problems. the problem that you dont have any friends shouldn't bother you because all you have to do is become a little more social i believe your not rite now because maybe its a new school new people and new friends. but you should try to get involved with some sports or clubs or something that involves something social and then you can be a little bit more comfortable. the issue with your dad and the new fiancee i think that the best thing you can do is just learn how to be her friend first and then you figure out the steps that come after that

always glad to help!

krittengirl

Definitely Get involved with group things. Close relationships will come with time. And you need real friends not just platonic relationships. Think about what your school offers that would interest you. Are you or could you get involved with a church that has a youth group? That can be a blast. Youth groups usually do all kinds of activities and it can be really easy to get to know people there. Remember some of the most popular people can be some of the most insecure and lonely. Everyone wants to "be their friend" but few people take the time to really be their friend.

Haylow_16

get out there and explore your opportunities. some how you have to boost your self-esteem. Get new freinds, get into sports, become a social butterfly. IDK just something that makes you feel confident and that will help you with you slef esteem. you have to help yourself before you can even think about a girlfriend or anything else. Most girls like guys that are confident even if they are dumbasses. Just go up to the girl(s) you like and talk to her if she blows you off thats her lose you have to try if you ever want to find out the outcome. But once you try the first time it gets easier just have confideince in everything you do.

Catalyst93

What are some things you like to do? Definately get involved with group stuff. If you want to be able to talk to girls that you have a crush on, you have to be able to talk to girls that you are friends with, and guys that you are friends with. I am the most outgoing person, and yet I seem to clam up around my crush. So its okay, just remember that having friends who are girls is the first step. CONFIDENCE!!!