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me and my boyfrend, we have been going out for more than a year. and i always suspected that he smokes weed. and recently i found out some stuff in his ashtray and i told him that i know he is smoking weed and i showed him proof. but he said its not his and that its his cousine's and a frend's. so i called them up, and his cousine said its none of my business and his frend said that it was his stuff, not my boyfreind's.
i want to know if he is smoking weed. i want to find out. but how can i tell?
purchase an at home drug testing kit. if you don't know him well enough to know if he is a druggie, what else do you not know about him? dump him, just think, you could end up with a disease of some type(if he shares needles for example), or if you become married or pregnant your child could have birth defects. dump the jerk if he refuses the test and do not let him know before hand that you are going to have him take the test. to me the refusal to take a drug test is the same as it coming back positive.
1.If I dated someone and I could not be comfortable enough to share my do's and do nots, then I would dump them. Why does he feel like he would have to hide anything from you?
2. If I told someone that I did not smoke weed, drink, watch porn, pick my nose, snore, etc and they wanted to snoop and interrogate my family and friends, I would dump them.
3. If you asked me an adult that works and pays taxes to submit to your drug test, I would show you the door and probably get a restraining order against you.
4. What he does is his buisness, he does not have to tell you anything that he does not want to.. If you can't handle it, then get out. You'll be snooping forever over one thing or another. What type of a realtionship or life is that.
If he said No that should be that. Isn't trust the foundation of any relationship? I wouldn't go to him with a home drug test cause you will probably be leaving with an empty cup and no boyfriend.
I basically agree with Bushg. The thing is most addicts (to whatever) make excuses, minimize, deny and even claim it is somebody elses. Then by the time you KNOW that you KNOW what you now know (months or years later) they have usually gotten worse with their addiction to the point they can no longer hide it and you have invested your time and your heart to someone that it won't work out with.
I thought I could deal with an addict because the only guy I ever really loved was an alcoholic and heroin addict. I have had two bfs since then and they both hid their addictions and I ended up leaving them over it because it ended up bad.
If you even suspect him of it you are probably better of without him.
dump him, just think, you could end up with a disease of some type(if he shares needles for example), or if you become married or pregnant your child could have birth defects.
LOL! thats a bit extreme,
u cant get a disease from smoking pot at least as far as i know.
and i think u would b able to tell if he was using other drugs,
i dont know but i dont think weed isnt sucha big deal,
its better for u than cigarettes
i would be more angry if he lied to u about it.
Anytime you feel like you can't trust someone, that is a red flag. You could ask him to take a drug test. He might do, probably won't. He might get angry and feel like you don't trust him.
I think it's important to listen to your intuition in relationships. Why did you suspect in the past? If you have had reason to suspect before, then found proof, then found a reason to doubt the story he told you, then it's not sounding good for him... I would say that if you feel like you can't trust what he says, then break things off. Because the trust issue will come up again and again, if not about this, than about something else. The bottom line is it just doesn't work when you can't trust the person.
That's just my 2 cents though! Not trying to sound like I'm telling you what to do or anything.
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