Hi hun,
Glad to hear my words hit your heart
You remind me of ME and some friends I had in school. When I had bad things like this, I don't really know how I found my way out~ but I did because I knew there was a way! Like others have said, you'll have to trust an adult to help you. It may seem weird right now, but there is someone nearby that can help. Sometimes I even found friends in my mom's boyfriends or my cousins, even one or two teachers. Its nice to sit down and talk with someone about your art, hobbies, music, etc. If you start off that way, it becomes easier and easier to start talking to them about bigger things, like what's going on. KWIM? EVERYONE struggles at some point in their life, so you're not alone.. I bet you have teachers who had a childhood like you!
I want you to find something that feels good without being bad. No cutting, or sexual things with your bf. (same guy who talks down to you?? HOPE NOT!) Try art or writing (if you don't already). When I didn't have money, I would find chalk and draw on the sidewalk or even the side of buildings. I would write poetry and letters to people. I never liked to keep a journal, but I would write a letter to someone I was mad at to VENT, then tear it up so they'd never see it, and let it blow away in the wind. It sounds cheesy, but it was amazing how much better I felt afterward.
I just had to make up my mind that I was going to have a better life than my parents and they weren't allowed to tear me down.
That's what you need to do. You're a smart kid and you can accomplish any goal you set your mind to! No one can hold you down but you. Just remember that you can have a good life without hurt and abuse, but since you're still so young, you need an adult to help you right now. You can do this.
Thinking of you... <3
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