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    cherri_blossom66's Avatar
    cherri_blossom66 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 1, 2006, 01:31 AM
    CopyCat Friend
    Hey my best friend is copying me! If it was just like the odd thing like a top, or something small like that but its my clothes my makeup my accsesories my EXERCISE ROUTINE! I can't stand going shopping with her anymore cause if I say I want something she has it a couple of days after it really frustrates me! I mean this really probably sounds like I'm flattering myself but I'm not and I am not over exaggerating! I can't exactly just say "hey stop copying me" can I? I don't know what to do... its making it hard for me to to be ME cause she's busy trying to be as well! And she's always telling me how jealous she is of my body my personality my family (she even calls my mum MUM and kisses her) and I hate it cause it isn't as good being me as she thinks please help I don't know what to do!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #2

    Nov 1, 2006, 01:36 AM
    I think you should be honest with your friend.
    Tell her that you noticed, and its frustrating you. We are all individuals and its not healthy for her to copy someone, she should have her individuality to be original.
    imation's Avatar
    imation Posts: 284, Reputation: 36
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    #3

    Nov 1, 2006, 04:00 AM
    Omg! How annoying is it when people do that?!
    I have a best friend as well who for some reason feels the need to be a little version of me.. its ridiculous... as you said at first it was clothes and little things but then mannerisms the way I say things, even things I've made up and told him not to steal he's just goes and tells people about and what not just to make himself look good.. he follows me around like anything and even applied for the uni course I did because he didn't know what to apply for!
    I think you should slap her into line and say get your own life, because your not me!
    Good luck, to both of us lol
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #4

    Nov 1, 2006, 04:03 AM
    She needs telling!
    Sentra's Avatar
    Sentra Posts: 385, Reputation: 55
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    #5

    Nov 1, 2006, 05:14 AM
    She needs to be told something before it looks like you are the one copying her. On one side, she envies you because apparently (in her mind) you are everything she isn't and have what she desires.

    How long has this been going on? Tell her that you are flattered but it has to stop, there is only one of you; now its time to find out what SHE likes without any influence from you.
    bubbler_77's Avatar
    bubbler_77 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Nov 1, 2006, 04:01 PM
    You have had some good answers here, totally agree that you really need to do something about this and talk to your friend, just make it nice and chilled out... Tell her straight before things get out of hand and you both end up no longer being friends!!

    Maybe go to the shopping mall with your friend and get her to select stuff she likes for herself and then get your stuff once she has hit the check out, maybe help your friend see that things are not all rosie in your world as she seems to think they are, and get your friend to start setting her own style and being herself instead of your twin.
    wizzkid89's Avatar
    wizzkid89 Posts: 243, Reputation: 63
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    #7

    Nov 1, 2006, 04:57 PM
    I think the longer you let her copy you, this problem is just going to manifest. I don't think it is a large problem right now, but it has the ability to turn into one. And the worst part it is affecting both of you. I would encourage you to point it out to her, but remember to keep a civil tone and be informative, keep in mind she might deny everything because she doesn't want to believe she is copying you, so just be ready if she doesn't want to hear it. Because if she is denying it at the moment you tell her, than you should just leave because explaining to her all the things you have noticed will only upset her more. Once you point it out to her, I think she will slowly start to change, maybe you can ask her why she wants to copy you, but just remember that you are her friend and you have to be there for her. Ask her what her interests are and what she likes, try and turn the conversation from why she has copied you to what she likes, and like the post above me go out and actively help her get her own style. If you encourage her to be her, I am sure she will follow along, it would be a great idea for you to tag along and give her advice on the clothes she is picking out because obviously she values your advice greatly. In the end, you really should point it out to her and basically enlighten her to the idea, do not call her out and try and be mean, but try and help her through her restructing phase, allow her to "spread her wings" and do what she want's to do, it should all come out in the wash in the end.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #8

    Nov 3, 2006, 07:28 PM
    Well, they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But I'm sure that it must get tiring. It's a phase that I'm sure she'll outgorw. Meanwhile, if it bothers you that much, just back off a little and don't spend so much time with her. That's likely to force her to acquire a little bit of an identity for herself. Then she shouldn't feel a need to copy you so much anymore.
    Danyell's Avatar
    Danyell Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Nov 4, 2006, 01:51 PM
    Next time you go shopping at the mall.. act like you LOVE the ugliest outfits in the store. Once she buys it and looks like an idiot wearing it, the joke's on her. :D
    gansada's Avatar
    gansada Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Nov 4, 2006, 02:25 PM
    Ha Ha heard your problem here. (sorry if u took that wrong)

    Well do what she doesn't like.

    Mainly the oppiste of her.

    Tell her in a clam voice. ( @ that moment she says eeww or grosses out....you'll know)

    Peace!

    Hoped i helped!
    lovelesspa's Avatar
    lovelesspa Posts: 1,019, Reputation: 127
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    #11

    Nov 12, 2006, 12:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cherri_blossom66
    hey my best friend is copying me! if it was just like the odd thing like a top, or something small like that but its my clothes my makeup my accsesories my EXERCISE ROUTINE!! i can't stand going shopping with her anymore cause if i say i want something she has it a couple of days after it really frustrates me! i mean this really probably sounds like im flattering my self but im not and i am not over exaggerating! i can't exactly just say "hey stop copying me" can i? i dont know what to do... its making it hard for me to to be ME cause shes busy trying to be as well! and shes always telling me how jealous she is of my body my personality my family (she even calls my mum MUM and kisses her) and i hate it cause it aint as good being me as she thinks please help i dont know what to do!
    Your friend has a problem, she wants to be you, and that doesn't help you much, but don't give up on her, next time you go shoppong, suggest things that would make her look cute, and say I think this style would be great on you, Suggest looking through magazines and show her all the different looks, in makeup and show how how looking different is great!! Sit her down and tell her, hey this is what upsets me sometimes, I buy this and then you buy the exact thing, why?? Just talk to her. Her life is not as happy as yours and your mom must be a great mom for her to want her to be hers, and that is kind of sad, but not everyone is as lucky as you. Don't give up on your friend she just needs a separate direction and some guidance. You can do it, that's what friends are for. Have some patience with her if she's really your frined, she's crying out for help!
    LouLouG's Avatar
    LouLouG Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Oct 21, 2007, 04:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by cherri_blossom66
    hey my best friend is copying me! if it was just like the odd thing like a top, or something small like that but its my clothes my makeup my accsesories my EXERCISE ROUTINE!! i can't stand going shopping with her anymore cause if i say i want something she has it a couple of days after it really frustrates me! i mean this really probably sounds like im flattering my self but im not and i am not over exaggerating! i can't exactly just say "hey stop copying me" can i? i dont know what to do... its making it hard for me to to be ME cause shes busy trying to be as well! and shes always telling me how jealous she is of my body my personality my family (she even calls my mum MUM and kisses her) and i hate it cause it aint as good being me as she thinks please help i dont know what to do!
    Hey,
    I know how you feel. It is happening to me my friend is copying me with everything I do and stealing my identity. She is also getting all the credit from a cool thing that I do and stealing it and saying she made it up. She is a year younger and things she can do what she likes. Her mum is also on her side trying to annoy me. It is not flattering at all. Just say this I love this new out fit I bought and if she has it a couple od days later say hah I knew it. It was a test to see if you would copy your so irritating stop stealing my identity. Or: before everything you tell her say: before you copy me wich I know you will then say what you were going to say and she if she does it works for me. Just slowly part away from her.
    LouLouG x
    P.s hope I helped!
    LouLouG's Avatar
    LouLouG Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Oct 21, 2007, 05:01 AM
    Oh yeah and get really annoyed at her if you want
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #14

    Oct 21, 2007, 07:25 AM
    How I would deal with something like that is figure out what styles are better suited for her and not particularly something you would wear or do and tell her you like it. In other words, Help her build her own sense of individuality without her even realizing it.
    Some people, especially young girls, often feel like they don't know what they want or who they are and copy off others they admire. So help her find HER self. Help get her interested in different activities and so forth until she finds what suits her, eventually she will grow away from being your shadow.
    ramelyrybe's Avatar
    ramelyrybe Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Jan 18, 2008, 02:26 PM
    Some of what you are describing is a phenomenon that happens in most close girl to girl relationships growing up. I remember actually trying to be alike with my friends as a teen. It wasn't something that was compulsive, it was just the thing we did. However, I'm not sure that that is what is happening to you. It sounds more like your friend is having a problem with self-esteem and finding her own identity. Though it's not an uncommon problem for young people, it is one that needs addressing to ensure good mental and emotional health.
    You have gotten a lot of advice to bluntly tell her that you're mortified by her actions, but I'm not sure that will help her in the long run. I do agree that she needs you to be honest, but make sure you have your anger in check before proceeding with the conversation. I hope it's not too late. You have the opportunity to be a great friend here. Tell her that you care about her for who she is, and that you love being with her because she has special things about her that make you a better person... the reasons you became friends in the first place. Help her to see that she is beautiful and special in her own way, not just because she looks and acts like you. Let her see that you have problems as well, that you are not perfect. Ask her for advise on picking outfits and makeup next time you are at the mall... even copy her for a change. The important thing is letting her know that no matter what you love her and you won't abandon her. Her obsession is more about being lost in her world than about you.
    raggablue's Avatar
    raggablue Posts: 347, Reputation: 22
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    #16

    Jan 19, 2008, 04:55 PM
    Put on an outfit that you can't buy in a shop, fuly custom, outrageous, something she wouldn't be seen dead in. see how she reacts to that
    indaygamay's Avatar
    indaygamay Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jan 28, 2008, 03:18 PM
    I "had" a best friend who did that to me for 4 years. I told her that she needs to stop
    Following my footsteps and get her own life. She said that I needed to get a life. She's 15 and I'm 20, so there is a BIG gap in the maturity level.

    It was like she was obsessed (and I use that word in the most negative form) with me. She copied everything I did. It got bad, to the point where I bluntly told her that we're not married you know. She was a conrolling person.

    What I suggest is that just back off little by little till she finds her own identity because her mirroring image of you is not healthy for the both of you.

    Hope this helps :)
    bebo1's Avatar
    bebo1 Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
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    #18

    Jan 29, 2008, 02:52 PM
    There is 2 ways of dealing with her when you take her shopping try to suggest other clothes or you can just tell her str8 (<-- sorry) up
    Fiona92's Avatar
    Fiona92 Posts: 20, Reputation: 4
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    #19

    Feb 9, 2008, 04:02 PM
    SIMPLY JUST TELL HER THAT IT IS FRUSTRATING TO BE COPIED ALL THE TIME look it is not healty for her or for you her copying you all the time so just be honest because what else can you do
    EyelinerJunkiex's Avatar
    EyelinerJunkiex Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Aug 13, 2010, 10:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Krs View Post
    I think you should be honest with your friend.
    Tell her that you noticed, and its frustrating you. We are all individuals and its not healthy for her to copy someone, she should have her individuality to be original.
    Lmao! She's mental! I'm having the same problem. Except my bestie is copying everything about me too! I mean, even my dammit texted style;/ and worked hard to achieve that >.<

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