| Is my child a pathological liar? and how do I deal with it?
I have been having problems with my child since she was 2, due to some unfortunate events at that time. However, she has had a pattern of behaviour since then and as she has got older (now early teens), she is getting even worse. I am worried that this constant behaviour is actually now affecting her, as she is missing out on many good things in life due to her behaviour, i.e. she gets grounded by being cheeky and slapping me and talking over me. At the time, I threaten that she will be grounded if she continues her behaviour, she screams and carries on and after much time has passed and many threats to the consequences she gets grounded.
When the time comes and she has to cancel her arrangements she screams she hates me and it is all my fault. She then tells her friends that I am a crazy women, and makes out that I am the one screaming all the time, and that she is punished for nothingand totally innocent. (This she says to me as well). She then denies in my face completely, that she did not hit me etc, etc. She also once threw my mobile phone across the floor in front of me, and in the same instant, denied completely that she had done this.
I try and talk to her, to teach her and explain what she is doing, but she talks over me, i.e. over and over, leave me alone, leave me alone, so she drowns out my voice and this goes on and on, so she never learns from her punishments and never listens to reason, and things have got so bad, that I feel I do not want her in the room with me alot of the time. However, I also worry, that she is creating a permanent bad behaviour pattern forherself and she is loosing out on a qualitly of life, as she is creating friction for herself and myself all the time.
However, she lies to herself, and never ever acknowledges what she has done, never, and in her mind, it is all my fault and that I am a terrible women. (Actually, if she only allowed, I could be the most amazing mother to her). But, she rejects it. (I am a single parent).
What can I do? I am beside myself. I have gone to a therapist, and they do nothing.
I am just amazed at how she cannot even see what she is doing. It is almost like she in her mind feels that she is the victim and she can't wait to leave when she is of age. She just does not register at all what she is doing to herself and me.
(Her father is not in our life, however, he also tells lies. He rejected me when I was pregnant and washed his hands off us.) Now he goes around telling everyone that I kidnapped her and hid her from him, i.e. he is the victim and he believes it. Is this inherited?
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