Ok so the other day me and my bestfriend had a sleepover. We called my boyfriend and we talked to him all night and the whole time he was talking to her way more then me. The next day he came over to my house and me, my boyfriend and my friend went to the park. She was messing around with him throwing leaves at him and flirting and he flirted back. After a while i just started walking away and just sitting down to see if he would come with me or stay with her, and he stayed with her. Then i tried her leaving and me staying and he followed her. A week later i slept over her house again, we called him again and he asked us to send a picture of us to see what we were doing but my phone can't send picture mail so we had to send it from hers and he knew that. I did not want him to have her number because i knew something was going on but i just went along with it and sent him the picture from her phone to see what would happen. Later that night he gave her his myspace there was when i stoped talking because i got really upset. They just kept talking for an hour while i was sitting there listening to them talk. My friend noticed that i wasn't talking but he didn't. After that i hung up and we were about to go to sleep. He started texting her exactly what i thought was going to happen. I texted him 'I hate you' and he said 'whatever is it because i'm talking to Jamie (my friend)?' so i told him 'No its because you were talking to her and didn't even care that i wasn't talking' He just said whatever then i just turned my phone off. In the morning when we woke up i texted him and he didn't even answer and like five seconds later he texts my friend. So i got really upset again and i just ignored it and went home. What do you think i should do?

JBeaucaire

I think you should take a deep breath, relax, calm down, and step out of this situation in your mind for a moment. You need to be able to look at life honestly.

You like/love your boyfriend. You like/love your best friend. Right?

Now the hard part. Do you think you should get your way no matter it costs you? I know he's your boyfriend, but is this "til the end of time" behavior you're having with him? I don't see that. Sounds to me like normal "lasts a few a months and is fun while it lasts" behavior.

That means you're not going to be with this guy forever. Relax. Think about that. I bet you even know that to be true at some level.

So, if you can admit that this guy isn't your Mr. Forever, then you are capable of dealing with this situation far more maturely than even you realize.

If you two are going to only last a while, then move on, you CAN know that ahead of time, and even facilitate the process. If he's already started the process of falling for your best friend, you COULD be a good friend to them and not be melodramatic and fatalistic about it.

All I'm saying is you WILL lose the guy at some point in the future. But, losing the friend(s), too...well, that's a different story and doesn't have to be the result.

This exact thing happened to me and my first love. We were together 2 years, and she ended up dating on of my best friends next...it was way awkward at first, but both she and he were good people, so I had no reason to lose that, too. So I didn't. When the awkwardness faded, we were all still there loving each other.

Maturity sucks, it really does. It involves putting other people ahead of ourselves and that sucks, too. But in the end, we benefit a lot from being mature.

Think about it.

minicupcake

So i just started talking to him and so far this is what we've said lol
Me:Hey can i talk to you for a sec
Him:Ok what
Me:You wanna know why i wasn't talking yesterday
Him:Yes
Me:Ok remember when you came to my house
Him:Yes
Me:She was flirting with you and everytime i walked away you would stay with her and then yesterday you talked to her and not me and you were texting her to and cause you gave her your myspace
Him:She was flirting with me?
Me:Yea i know how she flirts
Him:why would she flirt with me
Me:Idk
Him:No she wasn't flirting
Me:By the way you texting her is really pissing me off
Him:Why
Me:Well you get mad at me when i talk to your friend
Him:Exactly you talk to Alex (his friend) i talk to hannah (myfriend)
Me:I don't talk to him anymore
Him:You did before
Me:Whatever you choose you can either talk to her or be with me
Him:Are you kidding
Me:Nope
Him:Why:
Me:Cuz
Him:Why
Me:Just choose
Him:No
Me:Why
Him:Give me one reason
Me:Because its really pissing me off
Him:What is wrong with you
Me:Nothing
Him:Whatever
Me:So what you gonna do?
Him:Omg
Me:What
Him:She's just a friend how do you think i felt when you talked to Alex (his friend)
Me:Idk but im sorry and i did stop talking to him and i would of stoped before that if you actualy told me how you felt about it
Him:Well i will evetually stop to
Me:Eventually?
Him:I will stop
Me:When?
Him:Idk
Me:Then ima break up with you
Him: OMG you always talked to Alex (his friend)
Me:Well that was before
Him:Whatever

JBeaucaire

Wow, you nicely did exactly the opposite of what I recommended. Exactly opposite.

Nice call. I read that exchange and wonder what you think you're actually going "win" this way.

Well, good luck to you.

ttyl-miracle

insomniaticmeat

ok im a guy and iam in this exact same situation right now and i juts gotta tell youone thing where is it written into our systems that we have to love juts one person its unfortunate its your friend very unfortunate but what you gotta do is sit them both down and say exactly whats on your mind dont make a drama of the situation tell him if he messes up he loses you both.. ok? thaqts froma guys point of view juts be honest.. and hell respond be staright up or he wil get confused..

ttyl-miracle

i surprised at you, insomniatcmeat
you have overcome your fear of living

ttyl-miracle

lol, then help yourself (carefully)
everybody likes helping ppl
i do, too
i only help cuz im bored (^^o)
ur not a pathetic loser, u should c my grandpa ^u^

insomniaticmeat

haha man life is crazy innit? and im also bored:L

minicupcake

I don't really get it lol...