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Is my boyfriend abussive?

Asked May 1, 2007, 07:40 AM — 12 Answers
I'm 15 and I just started going out with this guy 2 and a half months ago. In the beging of our relationship, when we were alone or in the dark wit my friends watching tv or a movie, he used the pull my arm around my back and it hurt but he kept doing it over and over, but he doesn't do it as much. He cracks my knuckles but the ones that I don't and it hurts and I tell him but he doesn't stop and he bends my fingures backand won't stop until I hit him. And he has burned me with a lighter a couple of times. After some stuff he does he feels bad and apoligizes but most of the time he just laughs. He hasn't punched me, but he told me he is scared to cause I could take him even though I've yet to hurt him. Please, I just need some helping words, I may be pregnant by him!

12 Answers
Northwind_Dagas's Avatar
Northwind_Dagas Posts: 353, Reputation: 422
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#2

May 1, 2007, 08:17 AM
Don't ever let someone hurt you. Yes, he is being abusive if he is causing you pain against your will. Dump this loser and find a guy that will respect you.
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venus_envy19's Avatar
venus_envy19 Posts: 10, Reputation: 10
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#3

May 1, 2007, 08:22 AM
I totally agree with Northwind. You should do what is best for you and leave him. Make sure you always know that once someone hits you and laughs at you when you tell them it hurts and that you want them to stop, that person doesn't love you, nor does he care about your well being.
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startover22's Avatar
startover22 Posts: 7,519, Reputation: 1850
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#4

May 1, 2007, 12:30 PM
This really concerns me that you are in this relationship at all. Especially the fact that you aren't sure if it is right or wrong. You being pregnant by him, go straight to your mom and tell her eveything, I mean everything. It takes a lot of gut to do that, I know because I have been in kind of the same situation. If you ca't go to your mom, you need to talk to someone that is an adult and that you can trust to help you out! I was pregnant at 18 and I told my Auntie who helped me tell my parents. You also need to get to a doctor to take a test, that should be the second step you take, dump the jerk first. AND DON"T LOOK BACK.....
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shygrneyzs's Avatar
shygrneyzs Posts: 5,029, Reputation: 4842
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#5

May 1, 2007, 01:10 PM
Yes, you are being abused by this guy. Yes, you are in an abusive relationship. Yes, this will continue and get worse as time goes by because you are still there and enabling him to be abusive. Yes, you can report him to the police, your parents, whoever it will take to get him away from you. You are 15. How old is he? Can he be charged with statutory rape? He can be charged with physical abuse but you need to make the call to the police and report him and have him arrested and press those charges.

Whatever you do, DO NOT let this guy near you in any shape or form. This is a guy - not a man - who would feel justified in deeply hurting you, to the point of your literal life. If you are in doubt of just how far he will go or could go, please contact an Abused Women's Shelter and talk to one of their counselors. See your doctor - to get the pregnancy test and to report this guy for hurting you. Your doctor can file a report with the police.

If you are pregnant, and I truly hope you are not, then you need to decide to keep this baby and yourself safe. Meaning free from this guy. Seriously, this guy is a loser with a capital L. Nothing you can do or say will change him, so do not fall for his words or feel sorry for him. Do not believe him when he says, "I'm sorry". They all say they are sorry, until the next time they hurt you. Then they are sorry again and again and again.

Good luck. Best of luck.
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ceriphante's Avatar
ceriphante Posts: 95, Reputation: 105
Junior Member
 
#6

May 1, 2007, 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shorty_got_skills
Im 15 and I just started going out with this guy 2 and a half months ago. In the beging of our relationship, when we were alone or in the dark wit my friends watching tv or a movie, he used the pull my arm around my back and it hurt but he kept doing it over and over, but he doesn't do it as much. He cracks my knuckles but the ones that I don't and it hurts and I tell him but he doesn't stop and he bends my fingures backand won't stop until I hit him. And he has burned me with a lighter a couple of times. After some stuff he does he feels bad and apoligizes but most of the time he just laughs. He hasn't punched me, but he told me he is scared to cause I could take him even though I've yet to hurt him. Please, I just need some helping words, I may be pregnant by him!

He is definitely abusive, if a guy cares for a girl he'd never do any of the above mentioned stuff, you know here in Australia a guy doing that would be in big trouble.
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ST3V3NZBABYZMAMII's Avatar
ST3V3NZBABYZMAMII Posts: 39, Reputation: -1
Junior Member
 
#7

May 6, 2007, 10:50 AM
You Should Leave Him..just Because You May Be Pregnant Doeant Mean you Have To Stay With Him.. Because You Never Know he's Doing This Now And If You Ad And He Knows He Can Also Do Things To Hurt The Baby Which Would Be a lot Worst..you Should Check With Your Doctor And Then If You Are Let Him Know That He Has To Change Or Keep It Moving
MOWERMAN2468 (Sep 23, 2007 07:55 PM): thinking he will CHANGE, ha, that is not very likely. he feeds off of her pain, and his control, can't you see that?   Source:
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,624, Reputation: 37031
Expert
 
#8

May 6, 2007, 12:44 PM


He is very abusive, and with people like him it will only get worst as he gets a emotionan abusive and has more control over you.

If you notice he is already controlling you, since after the 2nd time he hurt you, you should have dumped him quickely

Don't see him again, and get away as fast as you can
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whiteladybug2002's Avatar
whiteladybug2002 Posts: 235, Reputation: 227
Full Member
 
#9

May 6, 2007, 01:03 PM
I don't know if anyone or yourself has made the connect about him enjoying hurting you?! You said that he hurts you and then LAUGHS?! He is obvously getting some sort of enjoyment out of hurting you! He needs serious help and YOU DON'T need to be the one to help him! You need to get away from him.....NOW! GET AWAY!

Now he is only hurting you a little and laughing............Later he will hurt you bad and laugh! Don't wait and see.

I don't think this boy has just a respect issue.........He is psycho!

Baby or no baby...........you DON'T want him around you or the possible baby!

Enjoy being a kid while you can! Leave the boys alone! You don't want a baby now! At 15, I wanted so bad to be an adult and now at 28 I want so bad to be a kid! You figure that one out?!

Good Luck and God Loves You!
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shorty_got_skills's Avatar
shorty_got_skills Posts: 23, Reputation: 10
New Member
 
#10

Sep 23, 2007, 12:13 PM
Thank you all for your comments

I did dump him and a lot went down but now he moved away and I'm not pregnant! So I'm all good [[=
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