This will take a while to read... sry.

Ok so this has been going on for a couple years...
ok so freshman year of highschool my BEST friend dated this guy I was friends with... but she broke up with him because she was bored.
the guy and I grew closer afterwards and we talked all the time. my friends used to refer to him as my stalker because he woul;d even walk me to class. everyone said "he is crazy about you... he follows you areound like a puppy" so after a couple months I realized I had a HUGE crush on him... like gigantic. I finally told my friends and they said.. go for it, so I told him how I felt (I had nothing to lose right? guess I forgot my dignity... lol.) and he said that he thought we should stay friends, surprisingly enough we were close enough that this didnt put a huge damper on our friendship... I called my best friend crying several times and she told me that everything was going to be ok... then guess what... she went after him... and got him. so she is dating him while secretly talking about how much he annoys her and stuff... and he talks to me for like 3 hours a night then he starts talking about nothing but her. it was killing me, so I ended our friendship for a few months (I cried myself to sleep every night during those months) because everyone said it was unhealthy and he was manipulative of me... which was absolutely true. it was a unhealthy friendship. It turns out I was depressed... go figure. I have been cutting my self for over 2 years now... but thats not the point. anyways so I ended my friendship with him and my best friend broke up with him. so after a few months I started talking to him again, but our friendship never was really the same. after a couple months of being friends with him again i told my friends that i still liked him and one of my friends dated him and the broke up with him and my best friend dated him again (are you counting thats a THIRD time) well this time they dated for over a year... all the while I was trying to be super supportive of them... Now that they have broken up everyone I am friends with hates him. they hate him a LOT... and they expect me to hate him too, but I keep talking to him because I think he has the right to make his own choices. Now everyone is angry at me for not choosing sides, they say I don't care about my best friend enough because I defend him when she talks trash about him.... am I a bad friends for wanting to stay neutral? What would you do?

justcurious55

i have a lot of respect for you. it's hard to stay neutral when two ppl you're close to aren't getting along and you get trappd in the middle. if anyone is being a bad friend, its the ones trying to make you choose a side. they should respect your decision to stay neutral and do their best not to talk about him when you're around if they have nothing nice to say.

foreverblue8691

well he doesnt try to make me choose a side, its everyone else that is, which makes me want to stay his friend even more... ugh highschool is so ridiculous...

xxxlovecanhurtxxx

well if i were you i would say that your best friend is not being a good friend becasue of making you choose sides. i think you are doing the right thing by staying neutral.

Samini81

first your friends who are trying to make you chosse sides are wrong for that second as far as your feelings for this guy are concerned you have to think of it this way, would you rather have him in you life as a friend or not at all, and if you really like him then having him as a friend should be enough....now I cannot say I have ever felt so depressed that I actually cut myself but whenever I do get that depressed were I feel I could hurt myself I try to think about my family, I am lucky enough to have 2 brothers, 4 sisters and 7 neices & nephews, and I think about how much it would hurt them if I did something to hurt myself how they would feel so try to think about the ones that love you and you should be ok