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To all teens wondering if they should have sex. (from a teen perspective)
Ok, why am I writing this?
To give you an honest, and true answer from a teenage perspective. (I'm sixteen years old)
All of you, probably don't know my story. But, in hopes of trying to prevent horror, pain, and misery to occur in your life, like it did mine (which, I'm still working on to get over) I'm going to tell you all my story.
When I was 14 years old, I met my (ex) girlfriend who was 13 at the time. We were in a serious relationship for about two years. Before engaging in sexual intercourse, we began with experimentation, I.E. oral, phone, fingering, hand job, etc. After, we got comfortable with what we were doing for about a year, we decided, "CONTRARY, TO POPULAR BELIEF, WE'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX. WRONG WRONG WRONG... We had NO CLUE, what we were doing. Didn't understand the possible ramifications of our actions, and therefor, payed a hefty price.
Yes, we used protection, both a condom and birth control.
Did it prevent her from getting pregnant? NO.
We PANICKED, we had no CLUE what to do.
Till this day, I have not forgiven myself for what we've done.
Aborting a baby because of something we SHOULDN'T have been doing in the first place, has scarred me for life.
I know what you're thinking to yourself.. "It can't and wont happen to me"
Oh, trust me, YES IT CAN.
Wake up from the little fantasy land you live in, because you are not immune to danger.
Not only should you not be having sex because of possible pregnancy, it WILL RUIN your relationship. After we started becoming sexually active, that's all we started doing. There was no more adventure, fun, and charisma in the relationship. It all became about SEX.
Through the same old routine and ruckus, came problems.
Arguments over the smallest things. We both became miserable, because, we were no longer having fun.
Fast forward a couple months later, and we're no longer together.
Do I miss her? of course. Will I move on? Eventually, but you know what? It's going to be 10x harder then it would normally be, because of all the sexual emotional turmoil that shouldn't have taken place at our age in the first place.
When grown ups tell you not to have sex, it's for a reason.
I believe this not only applies to teens... but people in their 20s and stuff to... coz they may not know or may not be ready for what they are getting into
It does in a way make the relationship change, coz ya'll know u can have sex instead of doing other fun stuff... so thats not the best thing... Its best to wait till you are married...
I disagree although some people are not mature enough to do that, I belive I myself made the right decicion when I decided to do it. Waiting until your married?
No come on honestly teens here about this stuff ALL THE TIME in class, at home on the t.v, not to mention the filth on the internet, it's only logical that we get curious. Teens these days are laid back about it, sex is no biggy to alot of us and standerds are BARELY alive. I have self respect and plenty of it and if someone wants to be confident and go ahead and have sex I applaud them AS LONG AS THEY USE PROTECTION.
Sex doesn't really ruin a releshionship all the time but sometimes it does. 5O/50 shot at any of these possible outcomes (pregnancy ect...) My releshionship has never been better and the female has the power to say no so if you don't want to don't do it or you'll regrete it and if you want to just really consider the outcomes and keep in mind it's not the greatest thing on earth too.
Sex is a big "biggy" things can happen and nowadays diaeses are on the raise by teens. Sex = babies and there are so many teens getting pregnant that it's only making the abortions clinics richer because this is where they turn too.
I think alot of teens are miseducated about sex and most can't even talk to their parents about it. Last summer I was at my fiance brother's house when his niece boyfriend made a statement that you can't get pregnant if you pull off at the right time and we all know that is wrong.
411, I am sorry about what happen to you and I never knew you was 16 but you are so beyond your years. Your right sex sometimes complicated things and it can lead to things that you shouldn't have to deal with.
I hope this thread helps someone, even if it reaches out to one person, and hope others add their stories and regret, if any. Stay strong and learn from everything.
To the OP, i completely agree. I am a 15 year old girl and i know I'm not going to have sex until I truly love some one and they love me, can take care of a baby, mature enough, old enough and HIV negative.
411....Thank you so much for telling your story. It was quite powerful. Thus, I have made it a sticky at the top of this board.
I realize that some may disagree with you, but they are the ones with their heads in the clouds and their feet are not quite firmly planted on the ground.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowreedbr
Waiting until your married?
Rainbow, no one ever said anything about waiting until you are married. In this day and age, that is an unrealistic goal for many people. While it is an admirable goal, it's just unrealistic.
Wonderful insight, wonderful post and truly wonderful that you shared it with all of us.
If just one teen reads this and thinks, no, I should wait, well, then it's worth it.
Bravo 411Help. You did learn the hard way, but at least you learned. That's what we as adults are trying to say. Learn from our mistakes, you really don't have to go out and pay the price, just listen, because we've been there, done that.
Really great post, I can't say that enough. This deserves to be a sticky.
thnx for posting this...i'm with this guy..whom i might even love...and i'm only 16 and even tho people may say that it isn't love but we've been together for a year now and we've known eachother since we were kids and have gone through so much just to go out...and he's been asking me about having sex...and he totally respects my answer (no) but recently i was thinking that it would be appropriate for our one year anniversary but thank you for this...and i kno dat i won't have sex until i kno that i'm ready to handle the outcomes...
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