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To all teens wondering if they should have sex. (from a teen perspective)
Ok, why am I writing this?
To give you an honest, and true answer from a teenage perspective. (I'm sixteen years old)
All of you, probably don't know my story. But, in hopes of trying to prevent horror, pain, and misery to occur in your life, like it did mine (which, I'm still working on to get over) I'm going to tell you all my story.
When I was 14 years old, I met my (ex) girlfriend who was 13 at the time. We were in a serious relationship for about two years. Before engaging in sexual intercourse, we began with experimentation, I.E. oral, phone, fingering, hand job, etc. After, we got comfortable with what we were doing for about a year, we decided, "CONTRARY, TO POPULAR BELIEF, WE'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX. WRONG WRONG WRONG... We had NO CLUE, what we were doing. Didn't understand the possible ramifications of our actions, and therefor, payed a hefty price.
Yes, we used protection, both a condom and birth control.
Did it prevent her from getting pregnant? NO.
We PANICKED, we had no CLUE what to do.
Till this day, I have not forgiven myself for what we've done.
Aborting a baby because of something we SHOULDN'T have been doing in the first place, has scarred me for life.
I know what you're thinking to yourself.. "It can't and wont happen to me"
Oh, trust me, YES IT CAN.
Wake up from the little fantasy land you live in, because you are not immune to danger.
Not only should you not be having sex because of possible pregnancy, it WILL RUIN your relationship. After we started becoming sexually active, that's all we started doing. There was no more adventure, fun, and charisma in the relationship. It all became about SEX.
Through the same old routine and ruckus, came problems.
Arguments over the smallest things. We both became miserable, because, we were no longer having fun.
Fast forward a couple months later, and we're no longer together.
Do I miss her? of course. Will I move on? Eventually, but you know what? It's going to be 10x harder then it would normally be, because of all the sexual emotional turmoil that shouldn't have taken place at our age in the first place.
When grown ups tell you not to have sex, it's for a reason.
You are not stating your opinion, you are stating incorrect information, information that can be harmful to others.
If you want to live you life with you head the sand, fine, I won't stop you, but stop trying to get others to join you in your ignorance.
You said that there is only a chance in a zillion, I can quote you, so don't deny it. That's not true.
Simply put, this is not the place to fight. This thread is about giving teens correct information, not for stating unfounded opinions.
If you have something valid to contribute then we're all ears, if not, then please refrain from posting.
and given, the 'correct'information is that in 411's case, there was a accident. but that doesnt mean that it will happen to everyone as you seem to think. given it did in this case, and i am also adding info by saying that yes, mistakes do happen, but they are VERY unlikely if you are safe and resposible.
and given, the 'correct'information is that in 411's case, there was a accident. but that doesnt mean that it will happen to everyone as you seem to think. given it did in this case, and i am also adding info by saying that yes, mistakes do happen, but they are VERY unlikely if you are safe and resposible.
I never said it would happen to everyone, but the chance is always there, no matter how safe and responsible you are.
Think of it this way. If someone handed you a six shooter with one bullet in it and said, you only have a 1 in 6 chance of getting shot, would you put it to your head and pull the trigger? Are those odds good enough for you?
Every time you have sex, even with protection, there is a chance of pregnancy, there's a chance of getting shot. If you want to take that risk that's your business, but, don't tell other people that it's safe, because it really isn't.
I guarantee that if you pole 10 sexually active teens that are all using protection, at least one of them will end up pregnant. Contraception fails, people forget to use it or don't use it correctly, and even if they do use it correctly it's not 100% effective. The chance is always there, always. So, if you're having sex then you should be prepared to have a child, because it could happen.
Well I'm also sixteen. I had sex about 12 times with my ex-girlfriend back when I was 15.. like in April last year.
What a stupid childish moron I was. She never got pregnant thankfully, but she was a b*tch. And looking back on our relationship makes me regret I lost my virginity to that manipulative... thing.
I wish I hadn't had sex with her.. but atleast I learned a valuable lesson from being treated like crap by a hot girl = Looks CAN be deceiving.
Having pre-mature sex is so not worth it...
But kids my age.. haha you can't tell 'em anything. We think we know it all, don't we.
XM8, we knew it all when we were teens too, and then we got older and realized we didn't know anything.
It wasn't that long ago that I was a teen, doing what I wanted to do, unconcerned about the risks because those kinds of things only happen to other people. I got lucky, I dodged alot of bullets, some of my friends weren't so lucky.
Now I'm an adult, with kids of my own, and I still don't know everything, the big difference is that I know that I still have alot to learn.
Being a teen is hard, why make it harder by doing adult things that you know you won't be able to handle. Sex is a big responsibility, because once a baby comes along, you no longer have the luxury of making mistakes and being a kid.
So, if we as adults can get through to just one teen, well, that's pretty darn good. Some kids are just intent on learning things the hard way, I wish it wasn't so, but wishes don't come true.
Ah, a german among us. Yes, Altenweg means old way or old path.
Yes, sex is fun, but, when you're ready for it, financially and physically prepared to accept the possible outcome (a baby) then it's so much better. When you're constantly worried about what could happen, well, that takes the fun out of it.
What truly amazes me is the amount of teens that are actually trying to get pregnant. It's not easy being a parent, even if the father is around to physically help. It's expensive, exhausting, frustrating and all consuming. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, no coffee breaks, no lunch breaks, no sick days, it's always and forever. Why do so many teens want to throw away their childhoods to be parents? What's the rush? I won't ever understand that.
Yes, I dodged alot of bullets, thank God. I never wanted to be a teen mom, that was unthinkable, I know I wouldn't be able to handle it, heck, there are days when I'm amazed that I handle it now.
Maybe we should start a program for all teens. One where they are required to take care of a real baby for a week, all by themselves. I'm sure other teen moms would volunteer their baby's for this program, and I gaurantee, after one week with a baby, most of those teens wouldn't want a child until they're older.
Full responsibility for a baby is the best birth control we can probably give teens today.
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Sure sex is fun, but when you're a teen it's just wrong... Everything has it's proper moment.
So very true. Heck, I'm not even saying to wait until marriage, just wait until you're old enough to deal with the consequences.
Hehe I'm english believe it or not - I've been living in austria for the past 10 years that's all =)
I'm no parent but I can imagine that being an adult mother is en exhausting job - nevermind trying to raise a child being a teen.
The whole concept is ridiculous.. how can an unraised child want to have children, that themselves wouldn't be properly raised?
It seems that this world is really coming to it's end. So many outrageous things are going on it's just unheard of compared to past centuries.
Your idea of a birth control program to give teens full responsability of a baby for a week just seems like such a good idea - but knowing governments, they wouldn't lift a finger to even bother starting such a program.
I'm personally against the idea of abortion - but I prefer to avoid even debating that subject by just saying that pre-mature sex is wrong. In austria one can have sex at 14, and get an abortion without their parents knowledge. That seems pretty crazy if you ask me...
I sometimes wonder if my ex-girlfriend even got pregnant at all. Knowing her she could have done a variety of things.. probably kept the baby, or having aborted without telling anyone...
I don't know it just seems unlikely anyway. Even after a crappy relationship (which was mainly her fault) if she had gotten pregnant, I doubt she would have stooped so low to sue me for it.
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I'm not even saying to wait until marriage, just wait until you're old enough to deal with the consequences.
im 18 and when i lost my virginity i had my head in the clouds i thought i was in love and that everyone was wrong. i should of listened to my older sister she said its not all that, she she was correct. im sorry to 411 for what you had to go through. i didnt even go through that and i was put off. sex is not what its all been made out to be, i was 16 and i thought i was ready i thought i was mature enough and people who were saying otherwise were wrong. but they were right. i am now in a relationship and i think back to when i was younger and i really no i wasnt in love, im not saying you cant be. but you will always have stong feelings for a boyfriend and think your ready but doesnt actually mean you are. i wish i waited but i thought different.
if i could go back to when i was 16 i would of waited. x
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