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To all teens wondering if they should have sex. (from a teen perspective)

Asked Jan 14, 2009, 04:33 PM — 101 Answers
Ok, why am I writing this?


To give you an honest, and true answer from a teenage perspective. (I'm sixteen years old)


All of you, probably don't know my story. But, in hopes of trying to prevent horror, pain, and misery to occur in your life, like it did mine (which, I'm still working on to get over) I'm going to tell you all my story.

When I was 14 years old, I met my (ex) girlfriend who was 13 at the time. We were in a serious relationship for about two years. Before engaging in sexual intercourse, we began with experimentation, I.E. Oral, phone, fingering, hand job, etc. After, we got comfortable with what we were doing for about a year, we decided, "CONTRARY, TO POPULAR BELIEF, WE'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX. WRONG WRONG WRONG... We had NO CLUE, what we were doing. Didn't understand the possible ramifications of our actions, and therefor, paid a hefty price.

Yes, we used protection, both a condom and birth control.

Did it prevent her from getting pregnant? NO.

We PANICKED, we had no CLUE what to do.
Till this day, I have not forgiven myself for what we've done.
Aborting a baby because of something we SHOULDN'T have been doing in the first place, has scarred me for life.

I know what you're thinking to yourself.. "It can't and won't happen to me"
Oh, trust me, YES IT CAN.
Wake up from the little fantasy land you live in, because you are not immune to danger.

Not only should you not be having sex because of possible pregnancy, it WILL RUIN your relationship. After we started becoming sexually active, that's all we started doing. There was no more adventure, fun, and charisma in the relationship. It all became about SEX.

Through the same old routine and ruckus, came problems.
Arguments over the smallest things. We both became miserable, because, we were no longer having fun.

Fast forward a couple months later, and we're no longer together.

Do I miss her? Of course. Will I move on? Eventually, but you know what? It's going to be 10x harder then it would normally be, because of all the sexual emotional turmoil that shouldn't have taken place at our age in the first place.

When grown ups tell you not to have sex, it's for a reason.

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101 Answers
raysprofile's Avatar
raysprofile Posts: 20, Reputation: -2
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#11

Jan 18, 2009, 10:52 PM
I agree and disagree it can go both ways, I don't believe in birth control it messes with the girls system, but if the relationship is to be believed strong enough go for it... If it lasts its true love get married be happy if not then obviuosly it was the wrong decision
cozyk (May 18, 2009 04:36 PM): Messes with the girls system??? Not nearly as much as pregnancy will.   Source:
JudyKayTee (May 19, 2009 03:51 AM): All methods of birth control "mess" with the girl's system? Not.   Source:
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411Help's Avatar
411Help Posts: 428, Reputation: 518
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#12

Jan 18, 2009, 11:24 PM
You live in a fantasy world my friend.

Sorry to break it to you, but there's no such thing as "meant to be" or "true love". You work for love, through communication, understanding, and patience. Amongst other things.

There are MANY ways you can ruin your chances with "true love"

I don't care how strong you think your relationship is, but if you are not emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a child you should not be having sex, no matter your age.
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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,670, Reputation: 26665
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#13

Jan 19, 2009, 08:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by raysprofile View Post
i agree and disagree it can go both ways, i don't believe in birth control it messes with the girls system, but if the relationship is to be believed strong enough go for it... If it lasts its true love get married be happy if not then obviuosly it was the wrong decision

Birth control is far better than a teen pregnancy. Teens aren't physically ready to have a child, that messes with their systems a lot more than birth control.

Saying "go for it" is very dangerous advice. Really, what do you hope to gain by having sex at a young age? Yes, sex is fun, yes, it can feel wonderful, but the consequences for a few minutes of pleasure are far to great. Pregnancy isn't the only thing to worry about, STD's can kill, and yes, it can happen to you!

I'm not saying that you have to wait until marriage, in today's world, with many people waiting until their late 20's or 30's to get married, that's not realistic, but, waiting until you're ready to support a child financially and physically, well, that's a must as far as I'm concerned.

Sleeping around hoping to find "true love" isn't the answer.
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jrsg's Avatar
jrsg Posts: 560, Reputation: 338
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#14

Jan 19, 2009, 09:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 411Help View Post
You live in a fantasy world my friend.

Sorry to break it to you, but there's no such thing as "meant to be" or "true love". You work for love, through communication, understanding, and patience. Amongst other things.

There are MANY ways you can ruin your chances with "true love"

I don't care how strong you think your relationship is, but if you are not emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a child you should not be having sex, no matter your age.
Probably the best piece of advice I've seen on this site in a while. I never agreed with the whole "NO sex before marriage" thing, but waiting until you are physically, emotionally, and financially ready makes all the sense in the world.

I wonder if the administration would let me post this on the walls of my high school? Ha ha, this really is valuable advice, and thanks for sharing.
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secret_123's Avatar
secret_123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 0
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#15

Jan 19, 2009, 09:06 PM
How the hell did you get pregnant off both a condom and birth control. If the condom broke you would have heard and the pill is like 99.9% protective.
J_9 (Jan 21, 2009 06:44 AM): Sex = pregnancy, no form of birth control is 100% effective aside from abstinence   Source:
JoeCanada76 (Apr 9, 2009 10:24 AM): N/A   Source:
JudyKayTee (May 19, 2009 03:51 AM): The OP would have heard the condom break - ?   Source:
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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,670, Reputation: 26665
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#16

Jan 19, 2009, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by secret_123 View Post
how the hell did you get pregnant off both a condom and birth control. If the condom broke you would have heard and the pill is like 99.9% protective.
That's a very common mistake. I know people who used three different forms of birth control and still got pregnant. Just because you're on the pill and use a condom doesn't mean you're safe, you're just safer. No form of birth control, even if you double up, is 100% effective.

Bottom line, if you're having sex there's always the possibility of pregnancy.
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secret_123's Avatar
secret_123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 0
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#17

Jan 21, 2009, 04:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
That's a very common mistake. I know people who used three different forms of birth control and still got pregnant. Just because you're on the pill and use a condom doesn't mean you're safe, you're just safer. No form of birth control, even if you double up, is 100% effective.

Bottom line, if you're having sex there's always the possibility of pregnancy.
Its like a one in a zillion chance. And if your careful check the condom and are in time with your pill then its a fraction of being impossible to fall pregnant. We can't spend our whole lives not doing anything in case something happens. Like oh don't go outside you might get hit by a meteor. Which has about the same probability as falling pregnant when your on the pill, or something AND use a condom. Just be careful, and as for sti;s you shouldn't be having sex with someone if your not sure if they are infected or not.
JudyKayTee (Apr 10, 2009 11:14 AM): This is neither true nor helpful.   Source:
cozyk (May 18, 2009 04:40 PM): you don't fall pregnant.   Source:
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411Help's Avatar
411Help Posts: 428, Reputation: 518
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#18

Jan 21, 2009, 06:28 AM
What happens when that one in a zillion chance happens to you? Then what?

Kids these days, have no sense of reality.
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secret_123's Avatar
secret_123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 0
Junior Member
  
#19

Jan 21, 2009, 05:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 411Help View Post
What happens when that one in a zillion chance happens to you? Then what?

Kids these days, have no sense of reality.
I am not a kid, I know very well the sense of reality.for example I had why best friend fall pregnant and get an abortion, and now I'm there with there helping her get through it. How much more real can you get? But I'm not going to preach about how I think nooone should ever have sex because something bad might happen. If your going to live ue life not doing anything in case something bad happens, then I feel sorry for you
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secret_123's Avatar
secret_123 Posts: 52, Reputation: 0
Junior Member
  
#20

Jan 21, 2009, 05:30 PM
But hey, if you chose to live like that than that's up to you, I'm just saying that I disagree with waht you and the question poster say.
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