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18 yr old daughter going off to college doesn't want me to move her in - chose dad

Asked Jul 15, 2012, 09:26 PM — 1 Answer
I'm divorced from an abusive man and continue to go through bitter custody proceedings and many professionals involved in our scheduling.

My 18 yr. old daughter chose to live with him this year. He bought her a car, has lots of money and threatens that she must do what he says or he won't pay for college. My daughter claims that's what happened here.

But, seeing as she's not so heart broken and I am, I think I'm in denial here. My ex is very wealthy, cheap, and nothing makes him smile. Everything is a criticism to the entire family.

However, she will be driving 5 states away and it doesn't seem to bother her that she ultimately chose him for this experience. I mean, she's 18 now. Maybe she's aligning with her father and I can't process this. Any advice?

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Alty Posts: 22,921, Reputation: 26890
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Jul 15, 2012, 09:35 PM
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and I can only imagine how hurt you are.

I do want to point something out. You call her a teen. She's not. She's an adult now. As an adult she can do what she wants, and she can choose the people she wants around her.

As much as it hurts, maybe she has to learn for herself what her father is like. Maybe her father has changed and isn't the man you remember.

Just don't break contact with her. Let her know that you love her, and that you're there for her always. Some mistakes have to be made before you learn anything from them.

Good luck.
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